AIBU to let my adult nephew move in after rent rise from my sister?

I live in an expensive area. Plenty of house shares available here for £500 pcm, I've just checked. Her bumping it up to £800 is bonkers, of course he'll move out. Up to him whether he prefers to live with strangers or with his aunt.

@YearsOfLife
Don't even remotely get involved
You might lose your sister over this whilst thinking you're doing nephew a favour
But,
The favour he should do himself is find somewhere else to rent so
Keep out of it

As of two years ago, I was renting a whole ass 2-bed flat in a nice part of a popular Midlands town for £800.
Your sister is taking the piss.

I would not let him live with you without a savings contract and transparency that the saving is happening. His rent plus his savings should total at least 30% of his income. If he isn’t willing to make that commitment, then he is abusing the privilege of living at home.

if you are actually helping him on his path to home buying, I don’t think your sister can really object. If instead you are subsidizing him spending his earnings, she has the right to be upset. Letting young adults live a lush lifestyle with large amounts of money for socializing gives them a skewed view of financial reality and doesn’t teach budgeting.

Exactly this.

My daughter gives me £300 and eats out a lot. She is also saving quite hard for a deposit for her own home.

£400 sounds reasonable but if your own children pay nothing, taking £400 from your nephew, a blood relative is a bit awkward.

His mother has pound signs in her eyes.

Probably better not to take him in.

I don’t see why you shouldn’t. To appease your sister? To enable her to extort him?

She’s being ridiculous. Her son isn’t her property, and she’s not entitled to control the relationships he has with anyone else in the family.

I would ignore her.

@YearsOfLife- why aren’t you answering the question about how much he earns?

Is it because he’s earning a large amount?

From your sisters point of view, there are 3 adults living in her house. It could well be the youngest is earning similar levels to the other two. At which point it starts becoming completely reasonable to set his rent at a level that’s 1/3 of the bills minus mortgage.

It does all come down to now much does he earn. (And how much does your sister earn in comparison.)

How could a third of the bills minus the mortgage be 800 pounds!

£800 seems a lot from £500

but if £800 is your sisters figure then she needs to understand he will move out and find cheaper

what is his salary - that’s a huge consideration as well

How greedy is his mother!? I really hope that she doesn't expect him to care for her when she gets old.

So he’s got the opportunity to get his own place quicker and she’s scuppering it?

My maths is awful but the percentage increase of her rent request is not in line with his salary increase!

100k and she wants £800!!

I see where your coming from and I agree that if he is good kid who is saving and making good sensible decisions etc then charging him extra will make it harder for him to save and move out.

In your shoes I think you're doing the right thing to speak to her again and depending on how strongly you feel about it go ahead and allow him to stay knowing it may affect your relationship with your sister but the way I see if if I felt very strongly about supporting him and I am very opposed with her decision to charge him more than so be it if the relationship gets strained.

She should be doing her best to make sure her son is setup for success not making his life unnecessarily difficult and I have not read anything that suggests they are struggling for money or that they desperately need the extra money from him especially if she earns over £100k and her partner at least £45k, they make enough without the need to nickel and dime the young man.

I would let him live with you. He is an adult and if you are happy with the amount he is offering, that's all that matters.
Why should he be penalised because his mother wants more money.
Give the lad a break.

I hope he charges her

So officious!
It's not living at home; he'd be lodging with his auntie.
Even if the OP is 'subsidizing him spending his earnings' so what? He's 24. What if instead he moved out to live with a partner who has a house that family pay for? Would she be upset that they were 'subsidizing him spending his earnings'?
And what 'lush lifestyle with large amounts of money for socializing'?

I'm a great a believer in adult children paying their way once they are in full time employment, as in contributing something towards their living costs. However, charging your child £800 pm when he is trying to save for a deposit for his own home is just plain greedy.

If you and your family are happy to let your DN live with you then it is between you and him. I think it would be wonderful to be able to give him a real chance at getting on the property ladder and as he sounds "house trained" and you like him then it really is a no brainer.

At 24 your DN is allowed to make his own choice about where he wants to live, he is allowed free will independent of his parents. Your sister increased his rent and just like any renter he has decided the increase is too much and he is now looking for alternative accommodation at a more reasonable rent. Your sister does not own her son and she doesn't get to control and dictate his life. She made a decision to increase his rent and she will now have to live with the consequences.

I really hope your DN comes to live with you Op.

Since when did a 'landlord' charge you according to what you earned? Or ask you for a rise in your rent if you get a pay rise?

Whether £800 is a lot depends on where you/he live and what he actually has to use e.g. does he have his own living area or bathroom? If not, then he's technically a lodger and should be paying a lodger's rate as a maximum.

You should probably talk to your sis about how much it costs to house him etc.

I can't believe people are encouraging you. Stay well out of it, he's not your son and if he'd doesn't like it he's can get a house share. Seriously don't interfere

I think she wants more money and sees him as a way of getting it.

But how can it be that? if putting his rent up forces him to move out then she gets nothing out of him, which is worse than the situation now, so it can't be that she wants the money, otherwise she would negotiate the price not just demand a much higher rate.

I would imagine they've got used to life without him in the house after 4 years and they think a year is long enough for him to have sorted something out, maybe her partner has given her an ultimatum, which she probably wouldn't tell you about otherwise it will cause friction.

He's 24, earning 35k you have absolutely no reason to house him, so why are you so desperate to do it? It's like you are trying to prove something?

You sound like a wonderful aunt and uncle. His mum (and her partner) just seem to see him as a cash cow. Are your kids okay with it, too?

This sounds it up. He's a grown up who's free to live where he wants. Brother of you would be doing Anything wrong. If your sister holds it against you That's on her, she wants the money and not to be shorn up as a bad parent.