Page 4 | I hate hate hate what social media is doing to young girls

catcat9719 · 2026-09-17T10:14:03+00:00

I have one step daughter, aged 6. We have her 50/50. She is not allowed to watch YouTube or TikTok in our house and YouTube requires a pin on our TV to watch it. At her other home she has unlimited screen time and access to YouTube and TikTok. Some recent examples of how this is affecting the self image and self esteem of a SIX YEAR OLD: • didn’t want to get in the pool on our last holiday because it would ‘ruin her hairstyle’ • asked her what she wants for her birthday - a lululemon jacket and skirt • commented that her shorts were too long - they were mid thigh length • wants a skin scare routine because ‘it’s better to start earlier’ (?!?!?) • when asked for Christmas ideas, she said makeup brushes and drunk elephant skincare • tried on a T-shirt in next last week and said it ‘made her tummy look big’ It completely devastates me. She is still a baby! 😔 well, maybe not quite. I appreciate that maybe I am the odd one out and maybe I am babying her by expecting that she still wants Barbie and colouring books. Is this anyone else’s experience??? The tummy comment just broke my heart. She is a lovely, vibrant girl and these comments are so hard to hear.

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/09/2026 21:03

User7989776 · 18/09/2026 07:12

Genuine question, what is so wrong about wanting to have certain brands or partake in activities that are not harmful to health (eg skincare) as a result of seeing them on social media? Isn't that what adults do as well? Social media is just a different form of media and replaced the same sort of content people used to get from magazines and TV. Girls magazines also had advertisements for clothing, makeup etc.

If the answer is because the brands are too expensive then it's not a flaw or fault of the platform. There's no ethically wrong reason girls are not supposed to dress in Lululemon. Their sizing is extremely small so they often fit tweens quite well. If a parent cannot afford the brand then that's an entirely different issue. A lot of accusations thrown at social media are simply because they generate requests that make parents feel inadequate about their ability to fulfil or afford what their children want. Not because the actual brand or activity is proven to be harmful in any way. (The only thing that's obviously harmful is body image, but this has been an issue way before SM. It's not like eating disorders never existed before the invention of the internet).

To be honest, I would much rather my daughter stays at home doing skincare then hanging around a parking lot getting offered cigarettes by older kids (standard thing in the 90s). A lot of parents are also unaware of the positive sides of social media. Lots of kids end up finding hobbies or special interests that keep them productively occupied for a long time. Things like drawing, crafting, Lego, Pokemon, Minecraft, video game speedruns etc. If a child is drawn to the materialistic side of SM then you need to have conversations about that if it doesn't align with your values. Personally I don't have an issue with that since I also wear Lululemon and enjoy going to Sephora, and I don't see a logical reason why DD should be banned from wanting that if she ever asks for it.

Edited

The child in question is 6. Not a tween, a young child.

ScrollingLeaves · 18/09/2026 21:08

User7989776 · 18/09/2026 07:12

Genuine question, what is so wrong about wanting to have certain brands or partake in activities that are not harmful to health (eg skincare) as a result of seeing them on social media? Isn't that what adults do as well? Social media is just a different form of media and replaced the same sort of content people used to get from magazines and TV. Girls magazines also had advertisements for clothing, makeup etc.

If the answer is because the brands are too expensive then it's not a flaw or fault of the platform. There's no ethically wrong reason girls are not supposed to dress in Lululemon. Their sizing is extremely small so they often fit tweens quite well. If a parent cannot afford the brand then that's an entirely different issue. A lot of accusations thrown at social media are simply because they generate requests that make parents feel inadequate about their ability to fulfil or afford what their children want. Not because the actual brand or activity is proven to be harmful in any way. (The only thing that's obviously harmful is body image, but this has been an issue way before SM. It's not like eating disorders never existed before the invention of the internet).

To be honest, I would much rather my daughter stays at home doing skincare then hanging around a parking lot getting offered cigarettes by older kids (standard thing in the 90s). A lot of parents are also unaware of the positive sides of social media. Lots of kids end up finding hobbies or special interests that keep them productively occupied for a long time. Things like drawing, crafting, Lego, Pokemon, Minecraft, video game speedruns etc. If a child is drawn to the materialistic side of SM then you need to have conversations about that if it doesn't align with your values. Personally I don't have an issue with that since I also wear Lululemon and enjoy going to Sephora, and I don't see a logical reason why DD should be banned from wanting that if she ever asks for it.

Edited

*Girls magazines also had advertisements for clothing, makeup^

From what I know, teen magazines may have, but girls magazines like Bunty and Judy ( for age about 9 -13) didn’t. I don’t recall magazines for 6 year olds.

MadellineBellPictureMeGoneNS · 18/09/2026 21:21

Sure I read somewhere that creams containing retinol were really bad for young skin.
Surely a 6yr old doesn't need a skin care regime.
Shame she's exposed to unfettered online access at home.
Not the kids fault it rests with the bio mum.

TheInternetIsNotAnalogue · 18/09/2026 21:50

Interesting some don't think social media is the problem; I think it absolutely is, and is an even more condensed, harmful version of the media we grew up with.
In my day (I feel old!), girls were targeted by constantly with messaging on how to look good/lose weight/have sex etc etc and we devoured it !
My boy is 6, and YouTube is banned in my house but he has accessed it via relatives and seems only to encounter/seek dinosaurs, trains, marble runs etc. He could be given free reign 24/7 and wouldn't give a shiny shite about skin care, losing weight, or clothes.
How and why is this even happening. Who is targeting who? Does the media, in whatever guise, exert far more control and influence than parents ever will. How and why is skin care made to appeal to a 6 year old girl??
I'm also certain that, despite talking a good game about diversity and inclusion, as a society we are adhering to a far less diverse definition of beauty than ever before.

OneRareMauveUser · 18/09/2026 22:24

It's very sad isnt it but her parents should be monitoring this and looking over her shoulder more. Mobiles and social media have ruined childhood and family life in many cases . I work in children's mental health and the Tsunami of referrals now must have been caused by something..........

Rhaenys · 19/09/2026 00:13

That’s horrifying. I thought it was bad enough with an 11 year old in my family…but 6! My God.

PixellatedPixie · 19/09/2026 09:01

The only way I think you could try to counteract this is by finding something other than skincare and fashion that really grabs her attention. At that age my daughters would sometimes get access to YouTube at a friend etc but they would search for things like cutest dogs or most rare animals. I would then let her watch a bit of YouTube with me, looking at videos about snow leopards or something appropriate that really, really gripped her attention. Another good one is videos of crafts that they can do alone that end up looking really good!

Some parents have said that getting their daughter into horse riding or gymnastics gave them an outlet all through childhood and through their teens. I would try to find what really fascinates her and build a healthy obsession!!!

whymadam · 19/09/2026 16:17

The loss of innocence. I could weep.

Boomer55 · 19/09/2026 16:19

Instead what SM seems to be doing to a lot of people, of all ages. I guess we all need to adjust . 🤷‍♀️

starrynight009 · 19/09/2026 16:24

This makes me so sad. I have a 7-year-old DD and thankfully nothing like that comes out of her mouth. To be worrying about body image, skincare and her hair at just 6… wow.

I’d definitely be tempted to make your home a bit of a counterbalance to all of that. Less screen time and more outdoor adventures, messy baking, crafts and hobbies, where appearance just isn’t part of the equation. Hopefully she can have that time and space to just be a child at least.

MxCactus · 19/09/2026 16:43

Thepeopleversuswork · 17/09/2026 11:56

I agree its utterly grim the way they target kids.

I don’t think its necessarily a foregone conclusion that social media has to funnel kids into being shallow and image driven though.

Its partly how you talk about it: I have always talked to my DD about the relationship between social media and commercial and political interests and tried to get her to understand that this is all about pushing a sale or a vision.

Digital and political literacy goes a long way here. My DD is nearly 16 and is pretty online but is utterly scathing about the image insecurity which is shoved down their throats. I know she’s only 6 but you can start to educate her on how this works.

You have to get them to understand what the impetus is behind it and you can start this pretty young.

I think this is the way OP. Social media companies have literally studied how to become "addictive" to children. You have to explain how bad these companies are/bad for your health and will make children sad if you watch them.

It's a shame you can't stop her viewing it at her mums, but you can explain that the companies are bad people trying to hook children and she shouldn't watch it etc

Cadeaukatze · 19/09/2026 17:13

BreezyClouds · 17/09/2026 11:38

There are a lot of people in my hobby group who bring their DC along and they pop up as suggested friends on my Facebook feed. All of their profile pics are heavily filtered and most are sexualised poses, girls must be 8-10. Honestly I'm shocked that they are doing it and that parents aren't stopping it.

Edited

When girls in my son's school did that I reported it to the school. It did seem to reduce after that, but it was a while ago so query how much they can actually do these days.

They were posing in bikinis in their bedrooms, for example. Not especially sexualised but I didn't think it was appropriate for Y7.

Cadeaukatze · 19/09/2026 17:15

MadellineBellPictureMeGoneNS · 18/09/2026 21:21

Sure I read somewhere that creams containing retinol were really bad for young skin.
Surely a 6yr old doesn't need a skin care regime.
Shame she's exposed to unfettered online access at home.
Not the kids fault it rests with the bio mum.

The only skincare under 25s need is sun cream. And something for spots if they have them.

That isn't (just) social media though, that's parents egging their kids on, making them like dolls.

Lentilcakes · 19/09/2026 17:21

That’s pretty shocking! At 6 my DD had no concept of any of that. FB was in its infancy so SM wasn’t a ‘thing’ thankfully, but she wasn’t exposed in other ways either.

No way should a six year old in Year 2 (!) have unfettered access to YouTube or any SM, what are the parents thinking?

Years ago, but DD was 9, we had family friends over and someone sneaked off w a phone (not sure how as it was 15 years ago!) and they managed to access some dodgy YouTube content, the youngest, who was about 6, told me and the other mum. We raced upstairs and obviously took the phone off them, and I banned my DC (DS was 7) from any screens for two weeks (obv they went online supervised by us even cbbc website etc). It was tough, but I did it as I wanted it to be a lesson to them.

Excellentsausages · 19/09/2026 17:34

Whilst youtube etc are designed to be addictive, I do think this is more of a parenting problem. Youtube is a platform, it's up to the parents to monitor the content consumed.

Mine get lots of screen time, but we are aware of what they are watching and make sure they don't watch 'brainrot', although they do watch the odd silly video. There are actually lots of informative and educational videos on youtube. My eldest hyperfocuses on specific areas of interest, and youtube videos help him learn more (in addition to museum and library visits, books etc).

I think with your stepdaughter's level of interest there are likely real life influences too reinforcing the messaging - mum or school friends?

I'd agree with developing any other interest- you could even watch youtube videos with her about the interest so that when she goes to her mum's she tries to find more and the algorithm might change?

MadGoodAndCompletelySafeToKnow · 19/09/2026 17:47

I do find this kind of thing sad. There is plenty of time for experimenting with fashion and skincare in the teenage years, but they'll never get the childhood years back.

I also wonder what young children are doing to their skin by covering it in make up and products meant for much older skin. How can they not realise that the youthful glow and smooth skin that most children have as as a natural phenomenon is something that older women spend £1000s trying to recreate with products and treatments?

Of course, some children might have skin conditions such as acne or a birthmark or injury they want to cover, which is understandable, but no young child with typical and undamaged skin has any need whatsoever for make up.

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/09/2026 10:55

Bad, bad social media. Nasty social media. Really messes with her head. Parents divorcing and her dad shacking up with a new partner and 50/50 shuttling between homes? Perfectly normal. Does not mess with her head at all!

havingoneofthosedays · 20/09/2026 11:05

Perfect, perfect step mum.

And social media addicted, lazy, confrontational mum.

And of course the wonderful prize of a man stuck in the middle.

Mn at its best 👏👏👏

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/09/2026 11:34

havingoneofthosedays · 20/09/2026 11:05

Perfect, perfect step mum.

And social media addicted, lazy, confrontational mum.

And of course the wonderful prize of a man stuck in the middle.

Mn at its best 👏👏👏

Bravo! x 10

helenafalco · 20/09/2026 12:18

Jellybunny98 · 17/09/2026 11:49

It is so sad and something we will be keeping our own children away from for as long as possible, still too young to even know about it all at the moment.

I do think it’s difficult though because you can’t police everyone and if the other kids at school are consuming this content then it seeps in anyway. One of my goddaughter’s is 8 and last Christmas she was also asking for drunk elephant products, Adanola clothes, makeup, Marc Jacobs perfume, she isn’t on social media but her friends are and so she gets it anyway.

Never heard of Adanola, had to go and google it!