I hate hate hate what social media is doing to young girls

I think you are right to be concerned. I have one DD age 8, close to 9, and she doesn't do these things- apart from ask for drunk elephant skin care. I said no to that and bought her a little moisturising set from Boots.

It sounds like you are doing what you can. What does she watch at her mums? Is her mum someone who is quite into social media and into image? I wear a lot of make up and try to maintain weight but I try not to talk to DD about it as it's important to get the right message across.
It's sad world for young women these days. I'm glad I am old, we used to wear £1 lipgloss off the market and tape music off the radio!
Does your step daughter do any kids clubs or activities? Getting out of the house is a good distraction from some of the rubbish that is online.

I mean Tik Tok is Chinese, even the international version (which is banned in China) is owned by a Chinese company.

The reason China blocks Western social media (Tik Tok, YouTube etc) is so their domestic platforms - Red Book, Douyin (Chinese tiktok), WeChat etc can dominate the Chinese market. They are also tightly controlled by the 'Great Firewall' so the Chinese government can control what people are saying about them.

It's not to do with protecting children's developing minds, but having said that, Chinese parents are incredibly focused on education, getting good grades/jobs etc - so they usually only let their kids watch things like Numberblocks! Looks etc aren't prioritised until a lot later!

That's so sad. At her age she should be out playing with her friends, or inside doing jigsaw puzzles and board games.

It's the responsibility of the parents though, to monitor their child's online activity. Social media isn't going away any time soon.

This is like mine, when she was very young she was like a little barbie, it was all make up sparkle and looks. Now she is 15 and has gone VERY grunge. Oversized clothes and I struggle to get her to bathe!

I would find that so hard op and I completely agree it is terrible parenting by the other parent. Please stay strong and don’t allow her to watch this content at your house. I really don’t recognize this sort of thing in my own kids and those of their friends. My 12 year old would ask for make up and skincare to an extent, but she’s in to loads of other things such as sport and arts and crafts. Same with my 9 and 5 year old girls. Maybe another thing if you haven’t already tried, is to get her into other interests such as sports or crafting, maybe brownies etc which is zero screens.
honesrlt a very very tough one when parenting with someone like this because I would have serious safety concerns as well. I would probably considering trying to reduce time with the other parent as I consider this type of parenting to be severely harmful and extremely lazy, bordering on neglect.

Roll on Spring when it is banned for under 16s!!! Meanwhile, can you enrol her in any clubs? Girls like this often don’t have many extra curricula’s if any.

I disagree, it isn’t social media doing this. It’s terrible parenting (not by you).

This isn't necessarily a result of SM. Our 8 yo DD would have no idea about these brands or self-image. And it's not because we're amazing parents or have kept her completely away from SM. She watches Youtube and it's not always high quality videos, but she just hasn't encountered this aspect of it - it just wouldn't occur to her to search for it as she's not interested. She likes silly and funny videos, not things I particularly encourage but I don't see it as harmful.
I don't think it's a big thing at her school otherwise she would have come home talking about it. She isn't interested in skin care at all, it's hard work getting her to have a bath!

Wow! My 9 year old is in to anything to do with cats, drawing and writing her own stories. She loves playing outside and plays with toys. Skin care is just absolutely not on her radar!

Yep, all of that - and as you say - they focus heavily on education. Let's be real, even if they suddenly didn't mind letting their citizens have access to other ideas and the outside world, do we believe for a second that they would let their children become dumbed down by our version of TikTok? Not a chance.

Yes! This is not my experience of girls this age at all, thank God! Mine are basically doing what I imagine I was doing at their age- playing, being in their own imaginary world, running around etc. It’s totally possible to shield kids from the internet at that age.

Jesus Christ that's sad so sad
Why is she allowed these screens at her other home can't u talk to the other parent about your concerns poor baby
She should be playing and enjoying herself with no hangups

YANBU
my friend has a daughter who is the same age as mine. Her dd has been, sorry to say, raised by tik-tok. She's rude, arrogant, selfish. Only cares about her appearance, only cares about the latest trends, can't be without her phone. I hadn't seen her for a while until last year at a wedding and I just couldn't believe how she was acting. She's ruined for life and yes it is because of social media.

Which is obviously only because of the shit parenting!

If you can’t change the other house immerse her in kiddy world at yours, do art with her, play pretend shop games where she has to buy toys etc, read, bring her to a local petting zoo or stables to see animals- you basically have to up the kid side of her

It’s vile isn’t it? A ban can’t come soon enough. I’ve seen my daughter’s friend at 13 scantily clad in a mood lighting video - it seems to have robbed a generation of their childhood.
I also hate the way that US values of selfishness and materialism have been foisted on our children - all our cultural influences emphasising honour, duty, doing your best and being a good friend (Enid Blyton etc) have been eclipsed.

All in the name of US and Chinese industry being enabled to sell more product. It’s utterly grim.

When I was 6 I was always in and out of my mum's makeup bag - and getting told off for it, too. I was reminded I was a little girl and would have plenty of time for that as I got older! She was right, I got over it quickly and just got on with being a kid.

This was before social media or even phones I think, early 1990s. I remember being a flower girl at a wedding and wanting make up on and was allowed some nude lipstick and that was my lot. I felt very grown up. I also remember Ebenezer Goode from the wedding reception!

Point is we were not indulged, but there were no influencers or the like around then or the means of spreading their messages.

Bloody hell, the examples you provided are quite alarming.

Why has your 6 year old got access to social media.

Because the mum is an idiot. Nothing OP or her partner can do about the other household’s negligence.

I’m not sure why anyone thinks the incoming ban will make any difference to parents already abandoning young children to social media. The government aren’t going to be sending inspectors round to keep kids off phones. They’ll just carry on thinking they and their kids are different and it’s up to them to parent as they wish. Like turkey twizzlers through the school fence.

@catcat9719you need to get her a hobby, dance, horse riding, swimming, anything.

My DD is plenty older than yours but she also went through a phase of clothes, make up, skincare etc. We indulged her a little but she was absolutely told no to anything we thought inappropriate.

She's now in secondary and although she spends time on social media she really isn't bothered. So many of her peers seem to do absolutely nothing outside of school apart from scroll tiktok - but she's far too busy riding the horses to be interested in whatever drama is happening on social media.

I'm not saying you should go out and buy a horse, but anything to get her out and involved in something in the outside world will do wonders. Clearly her mum is pretty useless but unfortunately you can't control that 🤷‍♀️

My girls havent seen or been into that on youtube. But i just hate how rudely everyone talks on there and the complete rubbish content.

I wasnt so against phones and SM but its bad effects have really started to hit.
i think as well games/tv/you tube etc puts kids off goibg out doing things