Page 2 | To think there is a reason for this support worker not to be trusted

Disney777 · 2026-09-16T00:45:21+00:00

Don’t want to post the full story but pretty sure they have been stealing off a vulnerable relative. (Not an elderly person) in case that’s relevant. They had been helping themselves to food and drink in their home when asked by the company they stated they had never used anything belonging to that person. Surely if you’ve been taking drinks and food you have? Aibu to think this is a very dishonest person? And ask that company in give removed due to the poor way they dealt with it. This is not a bashing of care workers I know they do a hard job for very limited pay. ‘Y relative is of course happy to provide drinks etc occasionally but couldn’t lots as they are also on low income.

Palomiino · 17/09/2026 10:39

Obviously a cup of tea isn’t an issue. This involved clothing and collector item. As well as removing food from cupboards.

Wishingwellies · 17/09/2026 10:37

I wouldn’t have an issue with my relative’s carer having a cup of tea or a chocolate bar while they’re in his home doing an activity with him — puzzles, crafts etc. Last weekend I booked my relative bowling, paid for two games and brought a pizza, and when I sent the tickets to the care company I made it clear the carer should have some food too. If they go to a café, I’m more than happy for the carer to buy a hot drink. At Christmas, I pay for my relative to have a meal with their favourite carer.
Next week I’ve booked a Christmas card-making workshop. I’ve booked two teas, two sandwiches and a place for the carer to make cards too. It’s a small business, so their place also means another paying customer.
My disabled relative is 35, and for me it’s about making their life feel as natural and ordinary as possible. I want them to feel they’re out enjoying an activity with another person, not that they’re on a formal “care outing” with the carer standing on the sidelines.
I genuinely hate seeing carers in cafés with an elderly or disabled person while the person they’re supporting has a drink and the carer has nothing. Obviously there are professional boundaries and individual circumstances, but I think carers deserve basic consideration too. They’re supporting another human being to enjoy their day — and I want that experience to feel natural, relaxed and inclusive for both of them.

Blueshape · 17/09/2026 10:32

The tea thing is mad. When DH had carers if they wanted a cup of tea with him that was lovely.

If you think they are stealing more than basic hospitality that would be normal for anyone working in your home, of course that should be reported. You don't need proof to report suspicions.

KidsAndDogsGalore · 17/09/2026 10:26

Report the theft of specific items.

Not sure if making a cuppa could be classed as theft, especially if the carer makes one for the client in full view at the same time. Probably a very grey area.

Palomiino · 17/09/2026 10:20

Definitely report this to the police. It’s a breach of trust and abuse of position and exploitation of a vulnerable person.

Oxo01 · 17/09/2026 10:17

Disney777 · 17/09/2026 01:48

I feel they resent her now due to what she’s done yet the manager is stating they get on well when actually the person had said to him they want another worker but are willing to keep this person till someone is found that to me doesn’t suggest they are happy with the arrangement

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I meant if vulnerable person agrees to cameras in the home

Blushingm · 17/09/2026 07:47

rose69 · 16/09/2026 06:59

I don’t think OP needs power of attorney to ask for the carer to be changed if they are the person dealing with the needs of the care receiver.

They’d need permission from the person being cared for if they have capacity though

Fiddlesticks1 · 17/09/2026 07:32

My neighbour had carers on a temporary basis. One used to make herself breakfast every day. Taking the …

Original poster

Disney777 · 17/09/2026 01:48

Oxo01 · 16/09/2026 23:54

Put cameras in the home if person agrees.
Yes ask for a different worker

I feel they resent her now due to what she’s done yet the manager is stating they get on well when actually the person had said to him they want another worker but are willing to keep this person till someone is found that to me doesn’t suggest they are happy with the arrangement

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Oxo01 · 16/09/2026 23:54

Put cameras in the home if person agrees.
Yes ask for a different worker

Original poster

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 21:23

Agatha1989 · 16/09/2026 20:40

I would inform the care company and also the police.

Care company just said they spoke to her she denied it so case closed

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Original poster

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 21:22

ExtraOnions · 16/09/2026 20:38

…alright Ebeneezeer… it’s a 2p Tea Bag.

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It’s not though it’s been expensive coffee sachets and even if it hadn’t been it’s up to person to be offered it

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Agatha1989 · 16/09/2026 20:40

I would inform the care company and also the police.

ExtraOnions · 16/09/2026 20:38

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:33

Of course but still taking tea everyday is also unfair without asking

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…alright Ebeneezeer… it’s a 2p Tea Bag.

Original poster

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:33

Dunkerquetodover · 16/09/2026 20:14

Stealing personal belongings is a bit different to having a cup of tea!

Of course but still taking tea everyday is also unfair without asking

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Gazelda · 16/09/2026 20:29

You obviously don’t trust the person. And it sounds as though you’ve have good reason.

i think it would be wise to demand a different staff member.

seahorsessky · 16/09/2026 20:23

I did a similar job and you weren't allowed to take anything. If the clients bought you gifts, you had to report it to a supervisor and it couldn't be worth more than £25.
And last time I had a doctor do a home visit (over ten years ago!) he wouldn't accept a cup of tea because he said they weren't allowed even that. OK, maybe he just didn't want one, but would seem weird to lie.

Original poster

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:15

Noshadowsinthedarkness · 16/09/2026 20:14

Surely stealing is a police matter and you should report it?

I guess it’s her word against these a £50 soft toy new with tags as it’s a collecter item rather than a toy that gets used. Apparently she took ot to the laudartterte and it got ruined again convenient

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Dunkerquetodover · 16/09/2026 20:14

Stealing personal belongings is a bit different to having a cup of tea!

Noshadowsinthedarkness · 16/09/2026 20:14

Surely stealing is a police matter and you should report it?

Original poster

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:12

Fieldday26 · 16/09/2026 13:04

I mean what are we talking about here, opening a tin of bins and sharing it over lunch with the person, making them both a cup of tea / glass of juice or literally taking packets of food out of the cupboards and taking it home?

Also her daughter was wearing a top the person had in a bag as it was too small for them also including a Nike t shirt. He daughter was seen wearing this top which was from America so would be a big coincidence that she would own that exact top don’t you think? And the persons is now missing

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Original poster

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:10

Fieldday26 · 16/09/2026 13:04

I mean what are we talking about here, opening a tin of bins and sharing it over lunch with the person, making them both a cup of tea / glass of juice or literally taking packets of food out of the cupboards and taking it home?

Both and knowing the person won’t say no asking for things etc.

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Fieldday26 · 16/09/2026 13:04

I mean what are we talking about here, opening a tin of bins and sharing it over lunch with the person, making them both a cup of tea / glass of juice or literally taking packets of food out of the cupboards and taking it home?

Original poster

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 13:02

RosaNovella · 16/09/2026 07:02

Live in carer, meals and drinks are usually provided

Not live in

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somanychristmaslights · 16/09/2026 07:30

You need to provide more detail!