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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there is a reason for this support worker not to be trusted

55 replies

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 01:45

Don’t want to post the full story but pretty sure they have been stealing off a vulnerable relative. (Not an elderly person) in case that’s relevant. They had been helping themselves to food and drink in their home when asked by the company they stated they had never used anything belonging to that person. Surely if you’ve been taking drinks and food you have? Aibu to think this is a very dishonest person? And ask that company in give removed due to the poor way they dealt with it. This is not a bashing of care workers I know they do a hard job for very limited pay. ‘Y relative is of course happy to provide drinks etc occasionally but couldn’t lots as they are also on low income.

OP posts:
ElefantAndCastle · 16/09/2026 01:47

Your point is?

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 01:59

ElefantAndCastle · 16/09/2026 01:47

Your point is?

If I have grounds to request the company are removed

OP posts:
QueenOfAccountability · 16/09/2026 02:15

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 01:59

If I have grounds to request the company are removed

Not unless you have POA, no.

Are you talking about an hourly carer or a live in carer?

rose69 · 16/09/2026 06:59

I don’t think OP needs power of attorney to ask for the carer to be changed if they are the person dealing with the needs of the care receiver.

RosaNovella · 16/09/2026 07:02

Live in carer, meals and drinks are usually provided

somanychristmaslights · 16/09/2026 07:30

You need to provide more detail!

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 13:02

RosaNovella · 16/09/2026 07:02

Live in carer, meals and drinks are usually provided

Not live in

OP posts:
Fieldday26 · 16/09/2026 13:04

I mean what are we talking about here, opening a tin of bins and sharing it over lunch with the person, making them both a cup of tea / glass of juice or literally taking packets of food out of the cupboards and taking it home?

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:10

Fieldday26 · 16/09/2026 13:04

I mean what are we talking about here, opening a tin of bins and sharing it over lunch with the person, making them both a cup of tea / glass of juice or literally taking packets of food out of the cupboards and taking it home?

Both and knowing the person won’t say no asking for things etc.

OP posts:
Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:12

Fieldday26 · 16/09/2026 13:04

I mean what are we talking about here, opening a tin of bins and sharing it over lunch with the person, making them both a cup of tea / glass of juice or literally taking packets of food out of the cupboards and taking it home?

Also her daughter was wearing a top the person had in a bag as it was too small for them also including a Nike t shirt. He daughter was seen wearing this top which was from America so would be a big coincidence that she would own that exact top don’t you think? And the persons is now missing

OP posts:
Noshadowsinthedarkness · 16/09/2026 20:14

Surely stealing is a police matter and you should report it?

Dunkerquetodover · 16/09/2026 20:14

Stealing personal belongings is a bit different to having a cup of tea!

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:15

Noshadowsinthedarkness · 16/09/2026 20:14

Surely stealing is a police matter and you should report it?

I guess it’s her word against these a £50 soft toy new with tags as it’s a collecter item rather than a toy that gets used. Apparently she took ot to the laudartterte and it got ruined again convenient

OP posts:
seahorsessky · 16/09/2026 20:23

I did a similar job and you weren't allowed to take anything. If the clients bought you gifts, you had to report it to a supervisor and it couldn't be worth more than £25.
And last time I had a doctor do a home visit (over ten years ago!) he wouldn't accept a cup of tea because he said they weren't allowed even that. OK, maybe he just didn't want one, but would seem weird to lie.

Gazelda · 16/09/2026 20:29

You obviously don’t trust the person. And it sounds as though you’ve have good reason.

i think it would be wise to demand a different staff member.

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:33

Dunkerquetodover · 16/09/2026 20:14

Stealing personal belongings is a bit different to having a cup of tea!

Of course but still taking tea everyday is also unfair without asking

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 16/09/2026 20:38

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 20:33

Of course but still taking tea everyday is also unfair without asking

…alright Ebeneezeer… it’s a 2p Tea Bag.

Agatha1989 · 16/09/2026 20:40

I would inform the care company and also the police.

Disney777 · 16/09/2026 21:22

ExtraOnions · 16/09/2026 20:38

…alright Ebeneezeer… it’s a 2p Tea Bag.

It’s not though it’s been expensive coffee sachets and even if it hadn’t been it’s up to person to be offered it

OP posts:
Disney777 · 16/09/2026 21:23

Agatha1989 · 16/09/2026 20:40

I would inform the care company and also the police.

Care company just said they spoke to her she denied it so case closed

OP posts:
Oxo01 · 16/09/2026 23:54

Put cameras in the home if person agrees.
Yes ask for a different worker

Disney777 · 17/09/2026 01:48

Oxo01 · 16/09/2026 23:54

Put cameras in the home if person agrees.
Yes ask for a different worker

I feel they resent her now due to what she’s done yet the manager is stating they get on well when actually the person had said to him they want another worker but are willing to keep this person till someone is found that to me doesn’t suggest they are happy with the arrangement

OP posts:
Fiddlesticks1 · 17/09/2026 07:32

My neighbour had carers on a temporary basis. One used to make herself breakfast every day. Taking the …

Blushingm · 17/09/2026 07:47

rose69 · 16/09/2026 06:59

I don’t think OP needs power of attorney to ask for the carer to be changed if they are the person dealing with the needs of the care receiver.

They’d need permission from the person being cared for if they have capacity though

Oxo01 · 17/09/2026 10:17

Disney777 · 17/09/2026 01:48

I feel they resent her now due to what she’s done yet the manager is stating they get on well when actually the person had said to him they want another worker but are willing to keep this person till someone is found that to me doesn’t suggest they are happy with the arrangement

I meant if vulnerable person agrees to cameras in the home

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