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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my colleague is not too old for motherhood?

151 replies

PithyPoet · 15/09/2026 22:33

Work colleague and friend is having a much wanted first child, of course she’s got comments she’s too old I genuinely don’t feel she is just wondering what others thought

OP posts:
SpecialShark · 15/09/2026 22:34

Read your post again.

Isittimeformynapyet · 15/09/2026 22:34

Well "how old is she" is the obvious question.

PollyBell · 15/09/2026 22:34

Is there a reason you have not mentioned age which I presume to be relevant to the discussion and the child born

FridayNightBlues · 15/09/2026 22:34

No, it's fine. Good luck to her and child.🙂

Gengha · 15/09/2026 22:35

How old is she?

thedogisfine · 15/09/2026 22:35

Key detail missing

76evie · 15/09/2026 22:35

How old is she?

Elfie23 · 15/09/2026 22:35

How old is she? If she’s 40s I’d say definitely not too old if she’s older it might depend how much older?

Chamallo · 15/09/2026 22:38

If she’s pregnant, objectively she’s not too old. If she’s renting a womb, she’s a terrible person and her age is irrelevant.

Original poster
PithyPoet · 15/09/2026 22:38

42 sorry I had it in the post tile then it was changed

OP posts:
Yupstillhere · 15/09/2026 22:39

Forties, fifties, sixties, seventies?

Strawberrryfields · 15/09/2026 22:40

PollyBell · 15/09/2026 22:34

Is there a reason you have not mentioned age which I presume to be relevant to the discussion and the child born

I thought OP was making a point that it shouldn’t matter to anyone else but the pregnant woman?

But if she actually wants opinions I agree we’re missing some key information!

ElonMess · 15/09/2026 22:40

She's 42.
It's a non issue.

FruAashild · 15/09/2026 22:41

Well DS was born when I was 41 so obviously I don't think she's too old.

MidnightPatrol · 15/09/2026 22:41

If she feels fine and able, then it’s fine.

I know a lot of parents who had their first in their 40s, not at all unusual in some parts of the country.

maisybobbins · 15/09/2026 22:43

Really really not a big deal.

WorthyMintKoala · 15/09/2026 22:46

Who has been so rude as to comment to her that she’s too old?

Minasama · 15/09/2026 22:48

How old is she?

Gengha · 15/09/2026 22:49

No I don’t think 42 is too old. Good luck to her. Unfortunately putting up with people’s unwanted opinions is part and parcel of motherhood

PollyBell · 15/09/2026 22:51

A 42 year old may not feel too old but how would it feel for a child of someone that age growing up?

Isittimeformynapyet · 15/09/2026 22:53

PithyPoet · 15/09/2026 22:38

42 sorry I had it in the post tile then it was changed

Who changed it, I wonder ??

Katemax82 · 15/09/2026 22:54

PithyPoet · 15/09/2026 22:38

42 sorry I had it in the post tile then it was changed

I had my 4th child at 42. Definitely not too old

ExOptimist · 15/09/2026 22:59

Biologically it's quite old, fairly near the end of a woman's reproductive life. It's over a decade older than the average age for first time motherhood.
But it is not uncommon at all these days. I could not imagine having a first child at 42 though, mine were teenagers when I was that age.

It does also presumably mean the child's grandparents might be getting on a bit and might not want or be able to help with childcare as much as younger grandparents.

blythet · 15/09/2026 23:04

It’s nobody’s business other than the colleague and the father of the child.
personally I think there is no such thing as too old, assuming it’s a natural pregnancy. Woman only become too old when the can no longer conceive naturally.

(nb that’s not to say someone at 42 who had ivf - for example - is too old. My point is just that if someone is young enough to conceive without assistance then they’re biologically not too old

Denim4ever · 15/09/2026 23:05

PollyBell · 15/09/2026 22:51

A 42 year old may not feel too old but how would it feel for a child of someone that age growing up?

Nobody realised until I told them. Average age of a middle class mum where we live was 35/6. Only a couple of the local mums suggested I might be more tired. I wasn't, I was absolutely elated to have finally succeeded after some time trying.

Son is fine about it, he has occasionally wished for a sibling, but not since DHs siblings fell out on WhatsApp.