AIBU to think my colleague is not too old for motherhood?

They should call it Artificial Stupidity not AI. I have no idea why mumsnet HQ think it's helpful to overrule our choices on thread title.

If she can conceive, using her own uterus, then she has every right to give it a go. It's her life and none of us need judge that. Personally I am finding the teenage years quite tricky to parent in my early 50s but someone conceiving at 42 is going to be over 60 when their child does A-Levels and I think I'd find that really tough.

I’m not sure really, it’s hard to tell. I always wanted chicken so I think I would’ve definitely tried to have one later if my life had turned out differently.

Forty odd years, sadly. It’s a long time for such a morally dodgy practice

Yeah , renting a womb and buying a child is never a good look

Do you know how long surrogacy has been around for? I expect there aren’t many people who have reached adulthood yet who were born through surrogacy but I might be wrong!

Re anonymous donors I’ve seen people who have gone abroad for sperm and used UK clinics, I assume the donors in those instances remain anonymous.

Yes I don’t really agree with anonymous donors as think that’s unfair but I know we don’t have that in the UK anymore. Don’t know enough about attachment etc with surrogacy. Would be interested to hear from adults who were born via surrogacy maybe? But I guess it could be hard to pinpoint any issues to surrogacy and not other life experiences. Gone on a bit of a tangent but was just curious as know some people have very strong feelings about it!

I agree it isn’t black and white.

I do know that some people are of the opinion that it isn’t fair on the child.

What’s your issue/ angle with these? Can it ever be ok? I don’t think they’re inherently bad, though I appreciate there can be risks and potential for exploitation in some cases. But it’s not black and white to me. If people give informed consent and it’s not done solely for financial reasons can it be ok? Do you feel the same way about donor sperm? Obviously not the same risk wise as egg donation but interested in which aspects you disagree with and how it applies.

Oh and had a nucal fold test for Downs with DD when 12 weeks pregnant; I had the risk equivalent to someone age 33.

Both ds and dd were healthy babies. But I do realise not everyone would be as lucky, it was just the way life worked out.

No it's not too old. I had my DD at 41, she's 21 now. No worries with paying for uni...I inherited money. She was second, had ds at 39.

Anyone commenting anything other than congratulations ia being incredibly rude. She is st a great age. Amazing .

It's everything that comes with it aswell as generally parenting young children.. not for me at that age but each to their own.

Whats so difficult about the school run in your 50's ? Its hardly climbing mount everest every day .. The kid will be an adult as she turns sixty so no worries there either.

Had DS a week before my 42nd birthday and didn't have any negative comments

I don’t think the opinion of the MN Massive is going to stop people thinking it.

Oh def not no. Thats obvious

But your eggs won't have been as healthy as a 28 year olds eggs would they ?
As soon as you get to 30 your eggs are getting old and it's a fact that mature eggs carry more risks of having a baby with downs syndrome and other genetic faults.
Alot of woman having baby's after 40 are very lucky if they produce healthy babys they are still geriatric mothers in the eyes on gynaecologists

Late 50s then. Sounds awful.

It’s no one’s business apart from the mother herself!
I had my third child on the week I turned 44 !

But hopefully means she spent her own teens and twenties in education so can add.

42+18=60. No child at school while in her 60s.

42 is old for a first child

tye risk of disabilities is much higher, the physical risk to the mother is higher too

and the change in lifestyle will be a bigger hit than for younger mothers

but I also know people who became first time mums at that age and it’s been beautiful

Where I had periods every 28 days till a year ago - I’m now 53

In the past, pre contraception, when women had four or five or more children it was completely normal to have your last child in either your late 30s or early 40s.

I think too old is when you are biologically too old so celebrities having egg donor babies at 53. Not 42 when you are still fertile.

Personally would be too old for me.

I had mine in my late 30s and it had some unforseen issues... "mum can you be guarantor on my uni accommodation " - no love, they wont let me, I'm retired. (Had to scrape her 6 months rent in advance which was bloomin hard)

I do think it’s too old, imo. She’ll be paying for Uni in her 60s, plus all the other reasons she may struggle. I wouldn’t say anything to her though, it’s defo a personal (selfish) choice.