AIBU - Friend inviting adult children to meet-ups.

I was the same when my kids were young. Just asked them how they'd like me hanging around and constantly interrupting their time with their friends. Funnily enough, they weren't keen and gave me space to see mine.

Turn it round -

“looking forward to seeing everyone on the 15th! Luckily my Shitpoke, Plopper and Keith can all make it! They’ve been getting jealous that (annoying friends DCs) get to join in the fun! Why don’t we all bring the kids along? We could end up with 23 of us so we’d better think about booking ahead”

Men definitely do do this

Some women don’t move on from the baby phase where every microscopic detail is clucked over and awwwed when they share, even when it was just polite to begin with.

They sound eye-wateringly dull. Life is too short to put up with other people's children's dental crap.

Get bored thinking about my own dental crap let alone anyone’s else’s !

It does sound unusual for adult kids to want to tag along with parents unless they're particularly close or don't have lives of their own.

I would be interested to hear from “the other side” from someone that routinely brings their family members to friends events. What the rationale is.

I have this with one friend, OP. It really irritates me!

She invites her adult children to join us in the pub, or at her home, often with their current partners whom we don't know. Similarly, friends' parents. Absolutely nothing against these people - but it turns what should be a relaxing event into an hour of small-talk with (effectively) strangers, often focused on them.

I want to see my friend, not her extended family!

I would never do this to friends - it's bizarre.

Me too!

With my friend who does this, she's so besotted with her adult children that I think she just cannot imagine that they don't fascinate everyone else too.

Call me any horrible name you want, but other people's kids most certainly do NOT interest me, and I don't expect anyone else to be interested in mine.

(I mean - yes, if they were colleagues or I met them independently in some way, fine, but not as an add-on to what's meant to be a friends' meet-up).

Utterly agree. My job involves making polite conversation with strangers usually older people so think this annoys me even more. I think im going to have a boozy intimate heart to heart with a friend but then it’s like I’m at work making polite conversation with her mum. Any lurkers reading this please stop it!

Omg bin her!! This just gets worse and worse!! How can you sit and listen to this crap. So arrogant of her to put you through it.

ADHD

I’ve heard of people doing this and they said it was because their adult children don’t have any friends and need to socialise. I think this must be why, because 18 year old me wouldn’t be seen dead with my parents and their old fogey friends at any event! 😜

Life is too short for someone like this in your life. These outings sound awful and she and her family obviously just dominate the space completely. I would probably start avoiding and maybe link up with one or two of the others separately for coffee, walk etc to maintain your friendship with them.

I also cannot fathom why adult children would want to hang out with their parents friends. Does it work the other way, doe she rock up when her kids are out socialising 😂. My eldest is autistic and struggles socially, so hasn't a huge amount of friends and I do often go out for a drink, food, cinema with her just to give her someone to go out with but that would never include her coming out with me and my friends.

No it is not. This comment is not helpful and is insulting to those of us with adhd.

I have ADHD and it’s a well-known trait to overshare and fill in loads of unnecessary detail when recounting things to other people as you want to be absolutely clear, not miss things out, struggle to identify what’s necessary information and what isn’t and to connect to people on a deeper level, which many NT’s find uncomfortable and often boring. The fact she does this with everything and not just her children sounds like it’s not topic-related but an inherent part of how she communicates generally.

Why on earth are you bothering with someone who sounds such a pain in the neck? Stand up for yourself, say you’d rather not meet with children there or just meet up with the smaller group. People only behave like this if you allow them too. Once mine and friends kids reached a certain age it was just presumed they would no longer join us and none of the kids would have wanted to anyway. Life’s too short to put up with this nonsense.

I'm glad you are feeling empowered to meet the people you want to meet with separately.
Selfishly, I am waiting to hear about the fallout once the others notice.

I can see it a little bit - I maintained independent friendship with my mum's friends, and there are several of my daughter's friends I meet for coffee and cake when they're in the neighborhood.

My tolerance for reading about doormat behaviour on MN has reduced a lot over time. I feel so frustrated reading this.

Yes dependant was the work I eas looking for! I know families like this, they only ever do things together and live a very insular life.