AIBU to ask the teacher to support my other twin?

I don’t think you can ask them to award twin 2 something. But you can definitely email them and let them know twin 2 is struggling with confidence and self esteem at the moment and ask if there is anything that can be done at school to help support them. You could explain that they are comparing themselves to twin 1 who is doing well with awards and you are concerned that they have a negative view of themselves. But don’t ask for an award. Let twin 2 be awarded something they’ve earned

This is very common in siblings. Or between any children.

I think its important to teach our children resilience. There will always be people cleverer sportier more artistic musical etc tha. Us who win prizes.

Im sure thus us harder with twins if there is a discrepancy in ability.

But I don't think emailing the teacher is a good idea.not everyone can win.

I don't think you can ask. I'd be tempted to casually drop it in conversation though, very lighty "oh twins one keeps winning all these awards and twin 2 is feeling a bit rubbish. He always tries his best". They might not even realise that there is such a difference in awards. Or they may do and think that's just how it goes.

I think you absolutely can speak to the teacher about how T2 is struggling with this. It isn’t your everyday circumstance, so talking about kids learning resilience is simplifying the issue.
Im not sure you can ask for an award, but you can certainly make the teacher aware.

Yanbu at all. Twins are really complex in dynamics and that needs to be carefully handled

Youre right and im sorry if my post came across as simplifying the issue.it must be much more difficult with twins

It’s really hard - my twins are 15. I have taught them that we are each other’s cheerleaders and sometimes one will shine/get awards etc and we are happy for them because over life it’ll balance out and they will both have moments in life that are theirs and they must not ruin each other’s successes, just celebrate.

They’ve really embraced this… gcse results day is not one I’m looking forward to though. Toughest test of my parenting yet.

I think you can let the teacher know your observations and concerns, but leave her/ him to decide how to address them/ support twin2. I wouldn’t ask that he be given one of the roles because the teacher will have numerous children in the class who could also do with a boost by being given a role, even if they aren’t a twin.

Plus you have kids who are already confident but may well be the best suited for the role!

I would let her know your concerns but let her use her judgment as to how to address them.

MNers do tend to drop the word “resilience” in for everything, but with schools very little is purely objective in terms of who gets to do what, and resilience doesn’t grow but inexplicably being overlooked every time (not saying this is what is happening here, but in some cases it is).

Resilience can grow by sometimes being disappointed but also being able to see one’s own talents and abilities clearly, and kids need adults to help them see their own strengths.

@Hummingbird233 I voted YABU but only because I also have twins. My twins are non-ID, and are like chalk and cheese.

They're now in Y6 and although there is only 1 primary class so I cannot separate them, they are very much two individuals who do well at totally different things. DS is an amazing artist, brilliant at maths, and loves reading/English. He struggles with social skills. DD is bright but not so keen on academic stuff, but is very sociable, and likes drama, dance and music.

I have had to fight hard to make sure they are seen as individuals.

Personally I'd let your twin 2 find their "thing" that they excel at and help them get noticed purely by talent, rather than asking for recognition.

They should be in seperate classes. Pretty much all twin advice stresses the importance of this. Have they been in the same class their entire school career?

You can't ask the teacher for special treatment for twin 2. You wouldn't for your other child if it were another student winning stuff.

Get them in seperate clubs/ aftershock sports etc. Individual playdates. Build twin 2s own identity instead of them seeing themselves as a lesser twin1.

as a twin myself, it would be much better to teach your twins to celebrate each others wins rather than ask for a pity award to make one feel better. my twin was always smarter than me but it taught me to feel happy for her, work hard and find my own wins. Now we're in completely different industries and succeeding in our own ways. In my opinion, your kids are too old to beg a teacher to hand over a pity prize because your child is upset

Separate classes ASAP.

It’s happening outside of school though too so I would maybe look for something that twin2 wants to do were they could excel away from twin1! There is nothing worse than being “the twins” kind of seen as one!

I taught twins who had this problem Twin 1 was sparkier than twin 2 and was always the noticeable one. We separated them and put twin 1 into the parallel class. Obviously this is not possible for you but I'm sure the teacher will try to find areas for him to shine if you bring it to her attention. Although I'm a little surprised she hasn't noticed.
If possible I would always suggest twins were put into separate classes to allow them to be their own person.

I would contact the teacher and flag the issue. For roles/awards where the teacher selects the winner, there's presumably an element of subjectivity in the selection procedure anyway. Obviously, it won't do much good if T2 gets an award where he's clearly not the most deserving candidate (eg "best footballer" if there are clearly others who are better at football). But presumably there will be some roles/awards where it's not obvious who should get it and T2 would be a deserving candidate.

I’m twin 2. Do it.

A number of people seem to be suggesting putting them in different classes. I don’t know what part of ‘there’s only one class’ is hard to understand? Not all schools have more than 30 in a year group, so all children of the same age are in the same class for 7 years. In some areas (mostly rural) all schools will be like this, so there may not even have been a choice of a different school with 2+ classes.

How though? If they are subjective prizes based on a vote, do you want her to fiddle the results? Or make up a new prize just for him? What about the other kids in the class? If it becomes a prizes for everyone arrangement, then all are pointless.

The OP has said the school is handing out various roles this term. There iss no suggestion that all roles are decided via a vote.