Son working Christmas 🫠

Do the dinner when he gets home then put a nice film on or play a board game and crack out the celebrations.

My soon to be yr2 DD has been working in a pub this summer and comes home with some tales from her “naice” pub. If MN AIBU posts are anything to go by you will be hearing about the Christmas lunch dramas in the pub well into the new year!

Yes, Christmas will be different for you this year. Why not send him off, having had a fancy breakfast (be it full English, pancakes, something completely different..).

Well done to him for signing up for Xmas so that those with young kids or elderly relatives can spend time with them.

My son worked Christmas Day when he was 18- he had a job in a pub restaurant and they opened for lunch. He finished at 3pm, came straight home and we had our dinner at 4pm. Somehow it seemed extra special because we were waiting for him to come home. He got nearly as much in tips as his wage for the day too! It was better than when he had a paper round and had to be up at 6.30am on Boxing Day!

My dad often worked on Christmas Day. If he was on day shift we’d get up with him and open presents. Then have our Christmas meal at dinner time. If she was nightshirt we’d open presents before he went up bed and have dinner again a bit stereo let him sleep. It’ll be different but ok.

Christmas dinner is the one meal we do late in the evening for some reason. No idea why it ended up that way.

Maybe presents and breakfast before he goes and a late dinner.

There will be some people your son serves for whom being able to have Christmas in the place he works will mean a great deal. Some who might be alone otherwise.

Think of his part in that.

We have lots of family members working in the NHS - we have always moved the days to suit shift patterns. You can have your Christmas Day on Boxing Day for eg

I worked Christmas Day in hospitality every year from age of 17 to 21, and it is hard as it changes all the Christmas plans for the family. Plan a nice day on Boxing Day, or another day instead

I'd say the first one without him is the hardest, but it's good in a way because it's not that he doesn't want to be with you all, it's because he is growing up and being responsible and gaining independence. That is your job in life with a child, so you should take a big bow for doing a great job.

You will see him in the evening, and that will be something to look forward to.

My daughter works Christmas and NY so colleagues with children get the time off

DD2 now 25 has worked the last 2 Christmas Days and will also be working this year. She lives 200 miles away so we can't even see her, but we try a video call when she's finished, or before she starts, depending on her shift.

The 1st year of it, I was moaning a bit in our local shop and one of the lovely ladies that works there said that when she worked, she often had to do a shift on Christmas Day - she was on TV. She said it was normally a lovely atmosphere, everyone was friendly and jovial and her suggestion was for DD to take in some party food. DD is a good baker and did this and said she actually had a really nice time. Lots of her coworkers have children and DD would much rather earn a nice bonus and their goodwill by working on Christmas Day than traipse 200 miles by public transport to us in a small hamlet in a rural setting.

OP, your DS should do pretty well out of it financially. It's only part of a day - you can still enjoy the rest of it together.

My daughter did the same at the same age in her part time waitressing job.

She really enjoyed it. Mostly because of overtime pay but also because a lot of the customers were regulars who chatted with her and knew all about her going to university and tipped really well 😁

But, yes, it did feel weird leaving a christmas dinner plated up for her when she got home much later and that she was too tired to actually eat.

I'm 61. I had a Saturday job in a local hotel at 16. Christmas eve ,Christmas day and then the hunt gathering in the square outside on Boxing day, was absolutely brilliant. The atmosphere was fantastic over those days and the tips were HUGE. As a 16 year old Id never had so much money in my hand at one time ever. Those are such happy memories. Its hard to let go of your children but its what we do it all for. Start to look at your life and you as a person rather than X's mum. Begin to do things just for you. It makes it easier. Mine are 33 and 34 ,went away to uni and lived away for years. Both back in our home area now with wives and children.

My DCs did this - for a time they both worked in the same village pub. We had our celebrations when they got home, and we had a lovely day chilling, eating nibbly bits and watching crap TV. Oh, and they got plenty in tips that day! It was actually really nice

My sister is a doctor and as she has no children herself often volunteered to be the one working holidays. She was home for either the morning or late afternoon/evening. It rather exemplifies the Christmas spirit doesn’t it (well, maybe not working at a pub, but as the youngest just think your son may be giving an older staff member with kids a chance to spend Christmas Day with them).

Good for him getting himself out there. Christmas day at a pub having a few drinks is always a great vibe. Me and my friends used to go years ago (my mum always went mad because I was late for Xmas dinner)
People are generous with tips at Christmas as well 😉

It’s tough when they first are away, my dd is working Christmas Eve until 3pm then from 10am Boxing Day this year, she volunteered because she knows the position of the other 2 who could do the shift.

Christmas dinner in the evening is rather lovely- you can have loads of candles and make it really cosy. Plus you don't have to fight the post-lunch sleepiness all afternoon so could do a nice walk or play games etc

yanbu. I’d feel the same, I also wouldn’t say anything to him and support him to do it. But still I understand what you feel. If it was a critical service then it’s easier because someone has to keep people alive and well. But a pub/restaurant I think people can do without for over bloody day. So what if someone enjoys it on Xmas day. Go the next day and let everyone be with their loved ones. For people on their own, it’s not somewhere to go. They tend not to go to the pub at Xmas for company before anyone starts that. Most villages etc have some supportive scheme for meals. By anyway good for him not complaining and just getting on with it. You’ll still see him. I’d delay Xmas meal till he was home.

When my eldest worked Christmas Day we booked into the pub for dinner, her boss let her eat with us as it was towards the end of the shift. Then we had a few drinks and walked home together for presents. It was really nice.

I've worked on Xmas day for the last 12 years. Dd left for university 7 years ago.
She and DH would sort out boxing day for our big day.
This year she will be travelling and I will be in Spain.
IMO, it's an event that's built up so much and is often disappointing

My mum was a nurse and always used to work Xmas day when I was little. I used to go to my grandparents and she'd pick up the unsocial hours shifts.

When I was an adult we'd do Xmas dinner and presents when she got home.

My own kids are adults now and, over the last couple of years, the rwo who still live at home have spent Xmas Day with their partners' families.

This year I plan to be away in holiday for the entire period.

DH will be working 10 til 6pm this Christmas so we are going to do Christmas Dinner on Boxing Day instead. I don't mind as we are just stuck in the house anyway. It's just another day. Mine are 19, 16, 11 and 9 so they're not in that magical age now.

Your DS will be fine OP. Don't make it a big deal. As other PP have said they themselves have spouses who are front line workers too. You get used to it. I also used to work Christmas Day in the NHS years ago. It's actually really enjoyable.

It is odd when your Christmas starts to change. The key is just finding new ways of doing things and don't mourn the old ways. I loved working hospitality on Christmas Day as a teenager as you generally get loads of tips.