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AIBU?

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Original poster

Lying about a WhatsApp message

104 replies

MurphysColeslaw · 15/09/2026 20:12

If you sent a WhatsApp message which started off ‘Read this carefully, and to the end but then deleted it 8 hours later.
If the recipient then replied ‘I can’t read it if you’ve deleted it’ AIBU to presume they did actually read it and are lying?

OP posts:
UnintentionalArcher · 15/09/2026 23:06

MurphysColeslaw · 15/09/2026 22:02

They may well have seen a preview?
I don’t have that on my WhatsApp.
I sent a nice message to someone, but they do have a habit of skim reading messages, so I wanted them to make sure they read it to the end, because that had the nicest bit. Hence starting my message please read carefully, and to the end.
However, some hours later I was a bit self conscious/embarrassed, so deleted it in the hope that they hadn’t read it.
When they replied and started their message ‘can’t read it if you delete it’
I thought oh fuck they have read it, and are trying to spare my blushes as well as theirs.
Normally if someone deletes a message that’s not what you would say?
So that’s it.
I’m neither hard work or a drama queen or whatever else I’ve been accused of being.
I’m a person who sent someone a nice message and got embarrassed.
Thanks to those who explained shit to me and thank God I’m not someone vulnerable, because some of the responses were quite unnecessary.

I understand much better now but I don’t think a ‘can’t read it if you’ve deleted it’ comment would mean they had read the whole thing. Even if it had blue ticks, they might have opened the message (which can happen automatically if you click on a notification), not had time to read it or just skimmed and seen the length of it and decided to read the full thing later.

Given that you sent a message like this, I’d guess you have a tendency to over think and over analyse (not a criticism- I get it!!) so on that basis could you also be overthinking the response?

Original poster
MurphysColeslaw · 15/09/2026 23:11

@UnintentionalArcher

Yes, you’re probably right.
I feel so embarrassed I’m probably over thinking it to the nth degree.

OP posts:
TaptheCap · 15/09/2026 23:22

Raghnaid · 15/09/2026 20:41

when you send a message, it will appear on their whatsapp, which they can read at their leisure.

If however, you delete the message, before they even open it, instead of your original message it will only show that you'd sent a message, but that you'd deleted it.

So instead of your original (which you subsequently deleted) all that will show on their screen, is who the message was from but instead of your original text it will only show "message deleted"

Show quote history

Yes, but if you read the lock screen before they delete it, you'll see the first bit of the message.

I assume that the recipient saw the start of the message on the lock screen, so knows it said "read this carefully" but when they went to fully read the message properly it had been deleted.

I doubt they read the full message OP.

If I'd seen it on my lock screen I'd have wanted to make sure I had capacity to read it properly.

InterestedDad37 · 15/09/2026 23:22

MurphysColeslaw · 15/09/2026 20:30

I’m not asking for your preferred method of communication.
I’m asking if you think their reply might be indicative of the fact they did actually read it before it waxed deleted.
(It would have been a convenient ‘out’ for them)

If you're looking for us to say "clearly they must have read it before it was deleted, otherwise how would they seem to have known how it began?", well then you're going to be disappointed, as there are several scenarios for that not to be the case.
(had a notification that included the first bit of the msg; started reading, but decided to finish reading it later; were in the process of reading it, but it was deleted while they were doing so etc.

Original poster
MurphysColeslaw · 15/09/2026 23:28

Yes thanks for explaining, I get that now. It’s because my notifications only tell me who it is and not any hint of a message.
I then thought oh dear God, they’ve seen it because they’ve quoted the first bit.

OP posts:
Boreded · 16/09/2026 03:32

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 15/09/2026 20:41

Based solely on your comments so far, I suspect many of us are already Team Other Person.

Show quote history

Haha IKR - I asked a valid question and gave a valid scenario then got that response. Bizarre, but very indicative of me being right lol

FlaviusAscensio · 16/09/2026 04:09

Alltheusefulitems · 15/09/2026 22:12

My watch shows me the first line of whatsapp messages when they come through. I would know someone had sent me a message saying read this carefully but if I wasnt near my phone before it was deleted I wouldnt have seen any more of the message.

We switch our internet off at night to save money (most of the time!) does WA download full messages if you ask it to sync?

FlaviusAscensio · 16/09/2026 04:16

MurphysColeslaw · 15/09/2026 20:40

First time on AIBU
fucking last too

The CIA will defo have read it and saved it for the next election to use against you OP. (is this 1995?)

menopausequeen · 16/09/2026 06:24

Were there ticks and were they blue

ColdAsAWitches · 16/09/2026 06:50

FlaviusAscensio · 16/09/2026 04:09

We switch our internet off at night to save money (most of the time!) does WA download full messages if you ask it to sync?

Show quote history

A router barely uses electricity. You're saving about 2p per day by turning off the internet at night. Is it worth that?

SulkingInTheCatio · 16/09/2026 07:37

If I was busy at work then the first couple of lines may flash up on my phone or watch but I wouldn't open the message and read it. But I'd be aware of the first bit. And then if I went back later to read it and it was deleted I might send such a message.

So it is possible. I think if they had read it they would have responded differently to be honest so I think you're safe!

AGreatUsername · 16/09/2026 07:41

I’m pretty sure you can only “delete for everyone” on WhatsApp if its not been read. I may be wrong but I think that’s the case.

Believeitornot · 16/09/2026 07:50

MurphysColeslaw · 15/09/2026 20:40

First time on AIBU
fucking last too

If you were as cryptic in your WhatsApp as you were in the OP, then what do you expect?

if someone sent me a message like that, I’d be thinking wtf.

parkezvous · 16/09/2026 07:52

Franxi · 15/09/2026 20:33

I would assume they hadn’t read it. I would see the first line or two in my locked screen and then when I opened it 10hrs later to read it I would have seen a deleted message and not been able to read it.

My thoughts too

Wynter25 · 16/09/2026 07:53

Meant to click yabu

NoNameNoOne · 16/09/2026 07:54

Messages deliver to my phone, I can see first line on my home screen but not the whole message until I go into the app and open it, so I would certainly be able to reply in the same way youressage recipient did without having read the whole message. It's not uncommon for my messages to be left all day unread whilst I am at work.

Mcdhotchoc · 16/09/2026 07:57

If that was the start of the message, perfectly possible they didn't read the rest of it.
Unless it was like 3 words there's a good chance I would just think it was drama. Don't need that on whasapp

Mcdhotchoc · 16/09/2026 07:58

If that was the start of the message, perfectly possible they didn't read the rest of it.
Unless it was like 3 words there's a good chance I would just think it was drama. Don't need that on whasapp

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 16/09/2026 07:58

Why can't you send it again?

LongDarkTeatime · 16/09/2026 08:01

MurphysColeslaw · 15/09/2026 22:02

They may well have seen a preview?
I don’t have that on my WhatsApp.
I sent a nice message to someone, but they do have a habit of skim reading messages, so I wanted them to make sure they read it to the end, because that had the nicest bit. Hence starting my message please read carefully, and to the end.
However, some hours later I was a bit self conscious/embarrassed, so deleted it in the hope that they hadn’t read it.
When they replied and started their message ‘can’t read it if you delete it’
I thought oh fuck they have read it, and are trying to spare my blushes as well as theirs.
Normally if someone deletes a message that’s not what you would say?
So that’s it.
I’m neither hard work or a drama queen or whatever else I’ve been accused of being.
I’m a person who sent someone a nice message and got embarrassed.
Thanks to those who explained shit to me and thank God I’m not someone vulnerable, because some of the responses were quite unnecessary.

Explain it to them in similar terms to this. They’ll likely find your embarrassment as endearing as the compliment.

MyPinkOtter · 16/09/2026 08:03

AGreatUsername · 16/09/2026 07:41

I’m pretty sure you can only “delete for everyone” on WhatsApp if its not been read. I may be wrong but I think that’s the case.

That’s not correct. You can ‘delete for everyone’ within a certain timeframe (a day or two I think) regardless of whether the message was read.

XMissPlacedX · 16/09/2026 08:03

Disappearing messages disappear after a certain amount of time. Maybe the recipient didnt read it ontime before it deleted itself.

ToffeePennie · 16/09/2026 08:06

I would assume it was a scam text. Like the old “read this before midnight and forward to 10 friends or your parents will die” emails we used to get.
I would therefore, just delete it and message my friend on FB/Text/call them and tell them they have likely been hacked.

Winederlust · 16/09/2026 08:12

MurphysColeslaw · 15/09/2026 22:02

They may well have seen a preview?
I don’t have that on my WhatsApp.
I sent a nice message to someone, but they do have a habit of skim reading messages, so I wanted them to make sure they read it to the end, because that had the nicest bit. Hence starting my message please read carefully, and to the end.
However, some hours later I was a bit self conscious/embarrassed, so deleted it in the hope that they hadn’t read it.
When they replied and started their message ‘can’t read it if you delete it’
I thought oh fuck they have read it, and are trying to spare my blushes as well as theirs.
Normally if someone deletes a message that’s not what you would say?
So that’s it.
I’m neither hard work or a drama queen or whatever else I’ve been accused of being.
I’m a person who sent someone a nice message and got embarrassed.
Thanks to those who explained shit to me and thank God I’m not someone vulnerable, because some of the responses were quite unnecessary.

I have a smart watch which alerts me to messages and shows the first line of the message. Also when on your phone and you have a notification of a message you can see the first line on that.

I think their message sounds completely normal in the circumstances that they didn't read it and it's more likely than not that they didn't, but none of us can know for sure.

And if they did, so what?

JaneFoe · 16/09/2026 08:26

AGreatUsername · 16/09/2026 07:41

I’m pretty sure you can only “delete for everyone” on WhatsApp if its not been read. I may be wrong but I think that’s the case.

You can "delete for everyone" even if it has been read. Including pics.