Financial support

So inheritance isn’t shameful then?

My help for deposit came from an inheritance my parents received, same for the car, again very normal for parents to hand it down. Anything I inherit from my parents will mainly go to my dc.

Lots of older parents start to “dispose” of cash to reduce future inheritance bills and of course you can give an amount to your dc annually that is except. Again I don’t see why that’s shameful 🤷🏻‍♀️

My parents have given significant financial support towards my house. It's meant I can give my children a better childhood and build up assets to help them later too. I'm not sure why you wouldn't if you can, but there's nothing wrong with choosing different things that you think add more to your kids lives over money.

I don’t think you went wrong at all, it sounds like your dc grew up in a loving home with lots of experiences.

I said ID feel ashamed accepting money from parents when I could easily afford stuff myself.

What has that got to do with inheritance?

And if you can afford to save for kids since birth then that definitely makes you comfortable at least.

I couldn't save for kids AND pay the mortgage/ bills AND provide experiences for them during childhood

@Timeforachange26well I wouldn’t call myself rich, my parents certainly weren’t rich when they came to London as immigrants looking for work but in their culture families help each other so it’s normal for many. My parents are pretty comfortable now just due to how housing has gone. It’s very ingrained in me (culturally perhaps) to help my dc with certain things so I have saved for them since birth. I don’t see what there is to feel shame about?

Would you not leave any inheritance to your dc because you would see it as shameful?

@CalamityJane81my parents didn’t actually give me much when I was younger, I had a Saturday/holiday job at school and worked to support myself at uni but as I said I had help with a house deposit and they are keener to offload cash now. I do have some friends that get a load of support eg uni, big house deposits, renovations, private school fees etc but I assume their parents can’t think of better uses for the money so why not.

Down the lines of the rich obviously None of my family have ever been rich enough to pass money " down the lines". Maybe as it's expected the receivers dont feel shame

Id still feel ashamed

@nomaswell affordability is definitely impacting birth rates.

You’d be surprised, ime. Assets and investments generate more income, so while money is passed down, in many cases it is simultaneously being built passively and actively.

I’m from a council estate and grew up on benefits but through education I have been able to obtain a masters degree and have a career. I got no financial help bar cheap board to enable me to get on the property ladder.

My partner has had a lot of support , never paid for a car, gifted house deposit and we have had renovations paid for by his parents.

We are saving in a stocks and savings isa for our children (who are under 5) for house deposits and uni fees. I’d be reluctant to financially support someone who is actively choosing to work part time and in a low paid role whilst moaning and not trying to better themselves @CalamityJane81

@Timeforachange26my parents had help too from their parents, it’s just goes down the line. Plus my parents have far more money due to huge equity gains & pension schemes that no longer exist. It’s either give some away now or leave even more to the taxman.

I grew up in poverty and had nothing. I have always worked and provided for my own kids - now they are mostly adults I don’t have the kind of income to help them financially but I help in other ways . Eg - they can stay at home for a lower rent and this allows them to save for their own deposit .

Yes, I've seen that, maybe that's contributing to low birth rate.

I don't think children need all that. It's a nice to have.

See id have been embarrassed and feel as though I was taking the piss taking money off my parents for things I could easily afford myself

And yet if someone starts a thread on MNs about having another dc many posters will ask can they fund uni, house deposit etc for an additional child.

It's not parents' job to give adult children handouts. It's parents job to feed, educate, nurture and launch into adulthood.

Just explain to your children that working part time had an effect on your earning potential but you are glad you gave them the childhood you did, days out etc.
That child working part time will be in the same situation.

My 3 teenagers often ask why we don't have as much money as their friends, I explain the differences in out situations.

I have 3 kids, they may only have 2.
I got married at 30, they may have gotten married late 30s.
They always worked full time as had grandparents for childcare, saving a fortune.
Every situation is different

@CalamityJane81we were given some money towards our last car, it just mean less out of our savings and more into our dcs ISAs

I asked because you have shared your eldest is resentful that they don’t receive much financial support. However, your child is actively choosing to work part time in a low paid role and yet is looking for more financial support from you ? .

Lots of women have careers and work full time (like myself). How is your , I presume daughter, planning to help support her own children financially when they become older ?