To worry about who my 4 year old plays with at school?

Just telling it as it is!

Do you honestly think we have staff to watch children 1:1 at lunch?
As I said we can redirect but there are 60 other kids on the playground, many with sen, and usually 3 adults.

If you want the discussion girls then that is entirely different! The girls fall out with each other and tell tales. They do the I am not friends with you. The if you don't play my game you can't come to my party.
Boys in my experience don't do that and are definitely the ones who play rough.

As I said this is my experience and opinion. Would love to know how you would manage it as you haven't offered that at all.

This is a long post of minimising and not recognising staff responsibilities. Plus blaming/ignoring the kids who are not instigating but caught up in it. Plus sexism.

I'd put your concerns in writing 'inapproriate games such as punch down' 'repeat accidents due to rough play including being hit in the head with a stick' and 'drawing on clothes' and say you'd like a meeting to discuss how school will a) supervise to prevent future accidents and b) encourage a wider social experience.

Getting things in writing early is helpful if things don't improve quickly.

You don't need to name names at this point.

It is incredibly difficult to keep children apart and while people are saying about adults to supervise, it is very hard to split kids up that gravitate to eachother once you move away.

Reception is free flow and in our school anyway are supervised by the reception team throughout the day so the same adults would be involved. It is definitely worth speaking to them about it, and they can try and redirect the boys in different directions, but ultimately they are likely to find a way back together when it is less structured time.

I am out with KS1 children and we have had many conversations about making good choices at play times, using kind hands and feet, kind words etc but it is usually the same group (if boys) who will 'forget' and be too rough.
In extreme cases (usually with older children) then we can bring in zoning and keeping children in different sections of the playground, but that then adds the extra issue of other friends who can go between the two and then cause upset when they choose to play in one zone and not the other.

I would just make the teacher aware so that carpet time they aren't close together and if they do activities in groups they aren't in the same group.

I think it's probably because a lot of issues happen at playtime when it's different adults outside and things are often treated as isolated incidents. Often things in classrooms (admittedly less so reception) are really quite regimented nowadays so it's not as often that that's where incidents occur.

• how the children are when leaving

Speak to the other mums and organise some Play dates. Watch how to children have leaving school and how they are with their parents at collection. BTW it is not normal for 4 year olds to bite and be overly physical .

I’m always surprised how often teachers didn’t realise my DC were having problems with another child, even when they were being physically hurt (then realised they have 30 bonkers kids to keep an eye on and think about) and so it’s definitely worth asking them to keep a beady eye on the situation

Honestly OP, I’d get this nipped on the bud ow before he’s still having these problems in year 3.

Don’t get me wrong, Teachers and schools are great, but they very much won’t be the ones to start the “we have a problem with another child” conversation, they’re too busy, it’s happening to 20 other kids in the classroom and they’re a only so ma y hours in the day. I’ve found with my youngest, as teaching has changed, it’s been on me to bring problems to them. Ask the teacher for a can’t, say you’re really concerned and you don’t want this to be a persistent problem.

It's very early days. Encourage him to play with other children and speak to the teacher if you're concerned but it a few weeks he will probably have made some new friends. Even very strong nursery friendships have normally changed by October half term.

It’s tough! I had to do a similar thing for my ds. Most mums were happy to send their children on play dates but less like to reciprocate.

I feel for you. Ive been there and it can be awful. I have no advice but sure it will settle down.

Its awful our babies go off to school and seem on their own. But he will be ok.

My advice would be to support him to make other friends. Ask the teacher to suggest some potential friends who will have a more calming influence on your ds and then facilitate play dates. Nursery probably put the boys together as they knew each other.