MIL ignoring DS allergies

I thought you were going to say she snuck in a single snickers which would be far lower risk than loose nuts! Definitely have a dh problem, also I suspect they simply aren’t taking it seriously

A child died on a supposed nut free flight when a selfish man a few rows back couldn’t go a couple of hours without eating his nuts.

Kick them both out OP. Selfish idiots!

Phone the clinic as soon as you can and alert the staff to what has happened and ask for advice. Get it documented. Let your H and his M hear you. Stay calm but act fast. They will tell you to remove the nuts immediately so you should repeat it back out loud and then do it. Keep the call going while you do it so the staff hear the interaction in your home.

Sometimes I think many MIL get shot down over nothing on here, but in this case you are completely justified. Both your DH and your MIL need to understand how serious this could be for your DS. Those nuts need to be gone and you need to maintain a nut free home. I hope you can get through to them.

WTF…. This is so wrong on so many levels 😩 first the nuts and now the trip?!

Honestly, leave and let him continue to be married to his mother. I’m all for close family relationships, live local to both sets of parents and holiday together etc. but this sounds such an unhealthy dynamic.

That’s bloody crazy and reckless. His own dad doesn’t give a shit.

Honestly I’d get this in a text from him as proof of neglectful parenting for when you split tbh. If he knows his child is awaiting confirmation of which nuts and a doctors has said he needs a completely nut free house right now he has gone against medical advice with zero regard for his child’s life.

You need to make sure this is documented properly, via your GP or school or call SS yourself. Your husband is neglecting your child on a monumental scale - ie bringing deadly allergens into the home. He could literally kill him. This is abuse and you will be deemed complicit if you do nothing to stop what is happening.

Of all the things she could've purchased, of course it was nuts!

U need to divorce this arse hole he is putting his mum before his own child's safety !!!
My daughter has a severe nut allergy and I cannot quiet believe what I just read !
Why would she go out and then buy bags of nuts it's so odd !.

Anaphylaxis is very serious, it's the scariest thing, I've witnessed it myself a couple of times in my brother when we we were kids . It's deadly, your husband is going to have to realise his mother's snacks don't Trump your sons life.

This.

There is absolutely no point throwing the nuts away, because they will just be sneakier.

Unless they get it, apologise and throw them away themselves then your home is not safe for DS.

If you split you could never trust your DH to take this seriously

A LTB from me. What an awful man. Just awful. There are no words. He is absolutely awful.

I’d have binned the nuts the second she tried to bring them into the house, scene or no scene.

I always tell dh to deal with his family “issues” if he can’t or doesn’t then I will and I am not as polite as him!

Don't let your DS go there and read the Riot Act to your DH.

I would end it.

Ps don’t blame yourself for choosing a wrong one. Nobody knows what kind of parents they will turn to be until the children arrive.

This is horrendous and shocking. I get old MILs who don't grasp the danger of giving a child something they are very allergic to but you can control that situation by keeping the child away until they see sense. But to have someone living with you who brings the danger into your own home is awful. It's extraordinarily irresponsible of your DH and your MIL. If something happens they would be criminally negligent I assume. Or should be anyway.

What will you do OP?

Being there. It was one of those things that not even divorce solved. Having said that, you have some leverage there: Someway he should be assuming you will be doing a lot of the care as his mother ages, if you stamp your foot and say that you are leaving, he may grow the balls to stop this nonsense as otherwise it becomes to much work for him on his own.

If he doesn’t… you will be free to raise your child more safely, not needing to spend his life taking care of a person who can accidentally kill your child, especially after losing all respect for a husband that puts his mother’s snacking habits well above the safety of his own son. If you haven’t fallen out of love by now, you soon will, you cannot respect him if he is unable to deal with something as simple as this.

This is awful. I’m so sorry you are in this situation. Unfortunately some people do not take allergies seriously. I have anaphylaxis to rabbits. Everyone laughs about it. It’s not funny when your throat is closing! Recently my daughter’s preschool had a visiting farm. I asked preschool staff to change her clothes and double bag them and tie it. Her clothes were just thrown into the bag in an untied bag and all fell out. Everything had to be washed as when I picked her bag up I came out in hives and my throat started closing.

I hope your son has recovered, it does take some time. I also hope your husband and mil see the seriousness in it. I wouldn’t hold out much.

Did your DH witness his son having the anaphylactic reaction? Did he not travel to hospital with you? Also, doesn’t MIL comprehend the impact of trace contact - she might eat nuts in her room then come down, hug your boy and endanger his life?!
If MIL and DH aren’t aware of how these anaphylactic reactions play out then google images is the way to educate them - show them what a patient looks like when their face is so bloated and their airway is so restricted they can barely draw breath and then ask if they think it’s ok to have bloody nuts in the house!
Sending hugs OP and I hope the clinicians get to the bottom of your DS allergy and put treatment in place 💐

Am wondering if it’s the ds the mil is jealous of?? Is her ultimate plan just her and her darling son? Just like their “wellness retreat”?
Its a dangerous and twisted game they’re playing!
does she contribute to the household @blanche79 does dh?

I agree with PP. She has done this on purpose and she has your husband on side. This will not be the only battle she has waged against you and your son for your husband's affections. You have seen she will stop at nothing.

If you kick your husband and her out they will continue to live together. You will have to give your husband access rights to your son and your son will never be safe with her. Even if get them to be nut-free, she will find some way to work against your son.

She is a danger to your son and she needs to go and you will need to (unfortunately) keep your enemy husband close, until your son is old enough.

This is what I would say.