Got asked by work colleague if I’m autistic

It was my female line manager. TBH I was a bit miffed to start with but then I began to explore it a bit and things started to make more sense. I can deal with criticism at work better now, for example, because I think it's my autism that makes me so sensitive to it. It still hurts a lot but I know why it hurts.

This is interesting. I have two people in my team, one who is autistic and has a diagnosis, and we have had chats about what works best for her. The other has never talked about it and I have no idea if he knows he is autistic. It is really obvious to me, and to the other autistic team member. In fact, she asked to work directly with him because they work in the same manner. He struggles in the job, and other colleagues are really shitty about him, largely because they expect him to work and act like them. I really want to have the chat with him, but as his kind of line manager, I know I can’t / shouldn’t. It’s a tough one! How did you feel when he first said it?

I get a bit fed up with the idea that you can’t be quirky, nerdy or creative without a diagnosis of some sort.

Not least as the children I teach with autism and adhd are severely affected and impacted by their conditions, as are their parents.

I’ve had this a few times. I’m just a creative thinker who enjoys ideas and stuff.

I remain astonished by the number of people I see on here and in RL who are incredibly obviously ND and either think no-one can tell unless they mention it or who haven't noticed. (I am NT so keep my mouth shut)

A colleague asking me whether I'd ever considered I might be autistic was a revelation! It led me to discover my true self and eventually get a diagnosis. Suddenly everything made more sense.

Yeah, I don't think this is the insult you think it is. You're not coming across very well here.

And so what if he does?

There's nothing wrong with being autistic.

And if he says he has? What’s the OP going to say to him. She’s embarrassed at the idea of being ND - he may not be.

It’s like the ‘did you mean to be so rude’. The correct reply is ‘yes I did’ and then watch the person who thinks they are clever get tongue tied 🤣

How rude of him.

He's made himself sound a bit stupid.

If he mentions it again you could ask him if he’s got personal experience of being diagnosed with autism as he’s clearly also a very direct person

There's absolutely nothing embarrassing about being thought of as autistic.

What a bloomin cheek!

The clue is in his own statement

"he said my mind works so uniquely that often I say things and he realises after that I was right."

say.. "Well at least you catch up eventually"

It's none of his damn business to be putting labels on you, or sitting there and analysing you.

Nip this in the bud. It will be opening a can of worms and he could start openly refering to it, and in front of other colleagues too if you are not careful. Loose lips sink ships. I'd be a lot less open with him after this. You still have the other colleague to chat to.

Was there a "you're very direct for a woman" and/ or a "bloody hell, that woman's crazy idea was actually right" who'd expect a woman to have a creative thought and be right? element to it maybe?
As in, would he have thought the same if you were male?

Im asked all the time. I just laugh it off

whether or not he said autistic, the rest of his comment was complimentary

No, that’s not right. Women with autism often demonstrate excess empathy and sensitivity (I have a DD with autism).

But the main issue here is that it was totally unprofessional of your colleague to ask about personal medical information. Even if you were autistic, you have every right not to disclose that information.

So you think you might be ND but you are surprised by someone mentioning it?

He was clearly blunt and ND people can often pick up on the traits with other people. So he may well be.

Why are you embarrassed? I’m AuDHD - what is there to be embarrassed about?

Tbf, it's not a question he should haved asked, same as any other personal question.

However being asked if you autistic isn't a an insult or a reason for embarrassment.

My favourite people to work with are people who think differently to me. He was probably thinking and acknowledge that but just expressed it in a really poor way.

It's rude of him to ask such a personal question. The fact someone wondered this about you is no cause for embarrassment as the behaviour is not embarrassing, but his question was inappropriate in a professional setting.

I’ve been told numerous times by people that they think I am autistic. Never been diagnosed but pretty sure I’m not.

Its just become a “thing” which people are looking for.

By the way I am not saying autism doesn’t exist or is over diagnosed or “trendy”. I know all too well its real.

But dispensing armchair diagnosis is very much in vogue at the moment and everyone likes to think they can spot neurodiversity.

I think your mind working uniquely could be taken in different ways however he followed it up with realising you are often right. Maybe it’s easier for him to label you and provide a ‘reason’ for it.

You think you might be ND but you're embarrassed that someone asked if you are? Why?

Sounds like a compliment to me!