Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to address wedding invitations using colleagues’ usual names differently?

4 replies

Galoiti · 14/09/2026 17:43

So this isn’t a big deal but I’m curious what others think.

My partner and I are getting married next year, we used to work together and are inviting some people from the office. DH still works in my previous work place but I know most of the people we are inviting from there.

One of the woman pretty much exclusively goes by a diminutive of her name, think an Isabella who goes by Bella or a Francesca who goes by Cesca. This is the name on her work email, her LinkedIn etc, I have almost never heard anyone use the full name. Another goes casually by a diminutive but uses the full name as her LinkedIn, work email etc.

I decided to address accordingly so using just the diminutive for person A but the full name for person B.
DP thinks this is strange and I should have either used diminutive for both or full name for both.

Was I unreasonable to address them the way I did?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
TheOriginalEmu · 14/09/2026 18:00

TheCoatThatLaunched1000Emails · 14/09/2026 17:51

No, it sounds sensible. Bella obviously doesn't want to be addressed as Isabella in any context as she doesn't use her full name anywhere; the other woman's LinkedIn shows she wants to be addressed in a formal context - which a traditional wedding invitation is - by her full name.

This. My name is Gwenllian, but people mostly call me Gwen because it’s shorter and for my non-welsh friends easier to say. But on invitations or whatever I would expect my full name as that’s my name, lol.
My daughter on the other hand exclusively uses a short form of her name and has that on all her work emails and so on.

ComtesseDeSpair · 14/09/2026 17:59

A wedding invitation is a personal invitation to a friend, so I’d address it to how that person is known to you as a friend.

Work emails and LinkedIn names just reflect how they want to be recognised in that particular context - if you wouldn’t call them that, it seems unnecessarily formal to do so for an invitation, particularly since you’re using diminutives for others.

EppingIsFun · 14/09/2026 17:53

I would address them both by the name you call them face to face.

TheCoatThatLaunched1000Emails · 14/09/2026 17:51

No, it sounds sensible. Bella obviously doesn't want to be addressed as Isabella in any context as she doesn't use her full name anywhere; the other woman's LinkedIn shows she wants to be addressed in a formal context - which a traditional wedding invitation is - by her full name.