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Original poster

To not let my 18yr old DS have his drugs back

83 replies

TheSereneBird · 14/09/2026 15:14

I posted last week about my 18 year old accessing his child ISA account. Things have escalated but him accessing that money is the least of my worries now. I thought I would start a new thread rather than continue the old one.

My DS went to stay with a friend for a few days and then randomly came home the other morning. (He has a history of self medicating for his ADHD with cannabis and he is now most probably addicted and destroying his life. He has recently lost his job). I heard him rattling around downstairs so once he went up to bed I went to see what he had been doing downstairs. On the ktichen table I find 8 or so small containers with white powder - some were in crystal form and had white powder crushed by it. Just left there. I am sure he didn't mean to leave it but I have an younger child who would have trotted dowsnstairs in the morning and seen it. I hid it and gave it to my husband, We were not sure what it was but assumed it was not a good or legal thing. He's now asking me if I have taken anything from him. I have questioned him and said what exactly do you think I took? Was it some weed? He said no not weed. He has told me now it wsa cocaine. I don't know if that is definitely true or he is trying to wind me up but this has happened once before. Last time, we told him we'd taken it and he was not getting it back. We ended up giving him several hundreds of pounds to pay someone off and he swore he wouldnt get involved again.He has told me he doesnt take it only sells a little bit because he needs money. He said he is in debt. We have bailed him out so many times (usually for large amountd of weed). I feel so scared and have no idea what to do. Obviously we wont be returning it - my DH actually threw it out. I have suggested he spends the time looking for a job if he needs money. He said he is doing that too but its 3pm and he has only just woken up. How the hell do I navigate this?? Who can I turn to for help? I feel desperate.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSereneBird · 14/09/2026 15:34

How much is it safe to tell the social worked who is assigned to him for his referral order? Will they really help or just report him? I literally have no idea what to do. WTAF?

OP posts:
Bloodysquirellls · 14/09/2026 15:30

Ffs I would be beyond pissed.

Bit dense of him to leave it on the kitchen table. I would be having a come to Jesus moment and tell him he’s an idiot. What’s he going to make selling a bit of drugs?

Hundreds? Thousands? Get a fucking grip. That’s small change when it comes to working. You get caught you won’t get a job. Then what are you going to do. Even if you don’t get caught - What are you going to do with it? Walk around with a bunch of cash, probably lose it on a night out.

And Even if you become a drug lord - earn tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands. You can’t fucking buy anything with it. Can’t buy a house, can’t buy a car.

And you’re incapable as a drug dealer. You literally leave your drugs on a kitchen table. Get a fucking grip and get a job!

And on top of the come to Jesus talk/ reality check I would get them to get their cash isa up. You are withdrawing the total amount and giving it to me. I will give it back to you at intervals I deem fit.

Frequency · 14/09/2026 15:28

Can you afford to move areas or move DS?

If you can pay, that could be an option but depending on who you are dealing with paying them off may just end up with them giving DS more to sell. He might not have the option to stop now he is involved, which is why the police are the best option. It might cause him some short term trouble but they are the ones best able to offer the right advice to keep him safe and get him out.

Original poster
TheSereneBird · 14/09/2026 15:24

Frequency · 14/09/2026 15:22

You need to find out if he is being threatened by anyone and if he is call the police for advice.

I am too afraid to call the police as I have no idea what I am dealing with or potentially opening the door to. He has been in trouble for weed possession and currently on a referral order. But he is an adult now. He can't afford anymore trouble.

OP posts:
Frequency · 14/09/2026 15:22

You need to find out if he is being threatened by anyone and if he is call the police for advice.

Original poster
TheSereneBird · 14/09/2026 15:20

Happycow · 14/09/2026 15:19

Im afraid I dont have any useful advice, but in a way id be more worried about dealing than using, given the likelihood of owing money, the sums that could be involved and chance of trouble on the doorstep.

How much is he expected to pay for the drugs now in the bin / down the toilet? Who will be expecting to paid, and when?

Others will come along with some sound experience for you, but id be selling up and moving far far away I think! (I know in reality this is unlikely to be possible, but id be in full panic / losing my shit mode)

This is how I feel. But I am not sure if it was even a large amount

OP posts:
Happycow · 14/09/2026 15:19

Im afraid I dont have any useful advice, but in a way id be more worried about dealing than using, given the likelihood of owing money, the sums that could be involved and chance of trouble on the doorstep.

How much is he expected to pay for the drugs now in the bin / down the toilet? Who will be expecting to paid, and when?

Others will come along with some sound experience for you, but id be selling up and moving far far away I think! (I know in reality this is unlikely to be possible, but id be in full panic / losing my shit mode)

OP posts: