Right here goes, I am a long time lurker but this is the first post I have made, I do not know what to do, maybe it’s just me and you can be honest!
My FIL has truely awful bad breath. Its always been the same all the years I’ve known him which must be getting on 15 years now. I promise this is no exaggerated , but when he has visited, we have to open the window afterwards as it fills a room. My MIL is fully aware but always defends him as he’s unfortunately very much “man of the house” MIL panders to him, apparently he refuses to see dentist (me and DH have tried on a few occasion to talk to her about it when he is not around, in a sensitive way. She says she hates it but is power less to do anything about it as she obviously can’t make him visit a dentist, his teeth are rotten we don’t even think he brushes them) I don’t know how she puts up with it.
The issue is this, due to the distances apart we live from them, visits to them and from them are usually a couple of days long to make the journey worthwhile and to spend time with each other. Couple of years ago they moved to a small retirement property and it meant there was room for us to stay, huge relief to be honest, we stay in local hotel now. Up until few months ago, we did not have the room to have them stay with us and they would always stay at a local guest house.
However this year we’ve moved house and have a spare room….! And unfortunately.. they have assumed it will be ok to stay in it when they visit next month.
We have tried a lot of things to discourage them, we are not far away from where we used to live so the guest house is still pretty close, we have offered to pay for them to stay there as an “early Christmas present “ but no they are insisting on staying with us.
I don’t know what to do, I do not want them staying here, nor does DH.
My DH has a chat with his parents last week and tried to help them see all the benefits of still using the guest house (FIL is volatile at times and he have to tread carefully), I was here but not in the same room but could hear what was being said, , DH put his foot down said that he and I really would prefer you both to stay at the guest house, I think it will be more relaxing for all of us that way.. we were very surprised that they agreed to this initially, great we thought, very relieved,,
Sadly though, the following day my MIL called my DH and said that my FIL has obv taken great offence to this as my MIL ended up telling him the reason we don’t want them to stay in the house and my FILs words were “well this is me I’m not changing”!! And said that we either let them stay in our home or they won’t visit again, nor are we welcome in their home
In case I have not got the point across as to exactly how bad the problem is, we have been out and about on trips with them and seeing people visibly recoil at the smell when he opens his mouth.
I don’t know what to do to sort the situation out because I don’t want to fall out with them but at the same time I cannot bear the thought of him staying in the house?