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Original poster

Drug taking in daughter's student house

197 replies

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:35

Hi, I'm looking for advice please.

My daughter is sharing a privately let student house with 3 others people. Two men and another woman, all are around 19. The other man and woman have lived together with my daughter since they got the house in July with no issues. There is a shared sitting room and kitchen with seating for all plus some guests which they all use considerately.

Four days ago the other man moved in. He smokes weed constantly and in the shared spaces, he has moved his girlfriend in and last night he had lots of people round smoking weed and getting drunk. They ended up sleeping in the kitchen and sitting room effectively blocking them off.

I live 2 hours away and found this out when I visited this morning. After lunch out we went back to the house and asked the various people to get up out of the kitchen and sitting room which they did. The place stunk of weed.

AIBU to phone the landlord if this happens again. It's not let by a big company the landlord only has this house and he lives close by. Daughter is upset as are the other two people and all 3 felt very uncomfortable with the drug use and people lying around the shared space.

Advice gratefully received please

OP posts:
Ralstan · 13/09/2026 21:36

lordbaddingham · 13/09/2026 21:36

Chumdrum is my favourite word ever

Think I've started something here 🤣

fiveyo · 13/09/2026 21:36

Has she asked you to call the LL? What would she like to happen?

lordbaddingham · 13/09/2026 21:36

Chumdrum is my favourite word ever

Backedoffhackedoff · 13/09/2026 21:35

justasking111 · 13/09/2026 21:32

Well that's clear enough. The druggie has to leave.

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That’s not clear enough when it comes to getting an eviction

lordbaddingham · 13/09/2026 21:34

I disagree with most, in that I think being 19 and at uni doesn't mean your mum can't get involved to help you navigate stuff like this which is very hard.

Ralstan · 13/09/2026 21:34

Lmnop22 · 13/09/2026 21:31

Stop drinking

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Least im not taking drugs 🤣

Franjipanl8r · 13/09/2026 21:33

Weed in a student house is very normal. Smoking it in the communal areas all the time is not. At 19 I’ve have just directly said to the guy - you can’t smoke everywhere in the house it stinks. Can she not even assert herself to tell the guy not to do it as a first step?!

justasking111 · 13/09/2026 21:32

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:49

Yes. No smoking or illegal substances in the house.

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Well that's clear enough. The druggie has to leave.

Lmnop22 · 13/09/2026 21:31

Ralstan · 13/09/2026 20:39

Course you cant phone the ll. Your daughter is an adult. Its her business and her respinsi6to sort it out.

Why on earth di yiu think it is your business. Being a parent is teaching our chumdren ti cope in the world. She is 19 not 9

Stop drinking

Ralstan · 13/09/2026 21:29

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:45

Because she's my daughter and I'm worried. Is that so hard to understand?

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Not at all. But it's her rental house not yours. She is an Adult not a toddler

Terfedout · 13/09/2026 21:24

Ralstan · 13/09/2026 20:39

Course you cant phone the ll. Your daughter is an adult. Its her business and her respinsi6to sort it out.

Why on earth di yiu think it is your business. Being a parent is teaching our chumdren ti cope in the world. She is 19 not 9

🤣🤣🤣

AlphaApple · 13/09/2026 21:20

New tenant is totally taking the piss. Other tenants should first tell him that he is not allowed to smoke on the premises (assume that means the garden as well) plus he cannot move in his girlfriend.

If it happens again, then they go to the LL.

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 13/09/2026 21:15

HobnobsChoice · 13/09/2026 20:58

Love the word Chumdren, like a jolly hockey sticks version of Mandem

Anyway, encourage your daughter to report this to the landlord. Even go through the main issues/concerns she needs to discuss and then let her do it. She's the one who signed the tenancy agreement and her housemates are in agreement so they can do it together either as a phone call or email if they have his email address. Understandable for you to be worried but it's her contact and she is an adult albeit a young one. The landlord has no obligation to you but does to her

Laughing out loud at the first line 😂😂😂😂

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 13/09/2026 21:14

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 21:09

Good advice thanks.

I dont think it is every student house. She's my third one at Uni and this hasn't happened in any of the other shared houses. None of the other tenants smoke or take drugs so it does feel off. Nor do they have people sleeping in the sitting room or kitchen floor.

I know she's an adult but today she didn't feel comfortable going into the kitchen of a house she lives in because 3 men were sleeping on the floor. The other female tenant felt the same.

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Tbh when I was at uni my house was a den of debauchery but the people I lived with were just as bad as me. You kind of need to know your audience and if you’re a party person you need to live with other people - I’m sure if he does get booted he will find some likeminded people to live with there’s no shortage of stoners and druggies on any campus. 😂

TY78910 · 13/09/2026 21:10

Seriously… this is what happens in uni. Kids get a bit of freedom and they take it to the max.

Also… ‘taking drugs’ - I thought you were going to tell me someone is shooting up in the living room. They’re smoking weed which when I went to uni happened in every single house.

Please don’t be that mum.

Bitsostuff · 13/09/2026 21:09

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:45

Because she's my daughter and I'm worried. Is that so hard to understand?

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Of course you're worried but the landlord is only going to want yo deal with his tenants, not their various relatives. Your role is to support your dd to speak to him.

Great sympathy for her and her housemates mind, what an awful position to find yourself in.

Backedoffhackedoff · 13/09/2026 21:09

BreezyClouds · 13/09/2026 21:08

Firstly they need to speak to the guy. I hate weed smell so would rather not live with him at all but assuming it's a no smoking house tell him it needs to be outside otherwise they'll complain.

The party and people staying over is a seperate matter, presumably not in the contract and could be reasonable occasionally.

Yes agree.

Original poster
Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 21:09

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 13/09/2026 21:04

I understand you want to phone the landlord for your daughter, but she needs to do it herself. You 100% should help her out though, when I need to make important calls I just make a bullet point list of what I need to say so I don’t miss anything. Tell her to do that and then you could look it over and add anything she’s missed, then she can sort the call. She’s technically an adult but she’s new to being an adult so she will still need a bit of help. Also make sure she sends a follow up email confirming what she’s said and what the land lord said.

Good advice thanks.

I dont think it is every student house. She's my third one at Uni and this hasn't happened in any of the other shared houses. None of the other tenants smoke or take drugs so it does feel off. Nor do they have people sleeping in the sitting room or kitchen floor.

I know she's an adult but today she didn't feel comfortable going into the kitchen of a house she lives in because 3 men were sleeping on the floor. The other female tenant felt the same.

OP posts:
BreezyClouds · 13/09/2026 21:08

Firstly they need to speak to the guy. I hate weed smell so would rather not live with him at all but assuming it's a no smoking house tell him it needs to be outside otherwise they'll complain.

The party and people staying over is a seperate matter, presumably not in the contract and could be reasonable occasionally.

Iluvgenehunt · 13/09/2026 21:07

19 year olds won't generally have the nous or confidence to ring a landlord. Let her make the call with a script and you beside her. This happened to my son and he got sucked in ( willingly) to the drug taking. He is still an abusive addict at 32. Get her out of there.

GreyRugBook · 13/09/2026 21:06

What kind of tenancy do they have? Individual contracts per room or a joint tenancy for all of them?

If individual tenancy per person, I would recommend your daughter rings the landlord and evidences the breach. If it’s a shared tenancy, tread carefully as it may invalidate the tenancy of all of them and they’ll be looking for somewhere new to live.

Even if it is shared, most landlords will allow swaps of joint tenants if the existing tenants find them and pay some fees to change the names, but obviously the nightmare tenant has to agree to leave.

Backedoffhackedoff · 13/09/2026 21:04

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:45

Because she's my daughter and I'm worried. Is that so hard to understand?

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Of course you’re worried.

but being the parent of an adult isn’t the same as being a parent of a child, you can’t just call her landlord and complain for her. Can you really not see how bonkers that is?

she is surely capable of doing it herself?!?

fwiw, the landlord may not be able to do much about it anyway

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 13/09/2026 21:04

I understand you want to phone the landlord for your daughter, but she needs to do it herself. You 100% should help her out though, when I need to make important calls I just make a bullet point list of what I need to say so I don’t miss anything. Tell her to do that and then you could look it over and add anything she’s missed, then she can sort the call. She’s technically an adult but she’s new to being an adult so she will still need a bit of help. Also make sure she sends a follow up email confirming what she’s said and what the land lord said.

jeffsaward · 13/09/2026 21:03

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:45

Because she's my daughter and I'm worried. Is that so hard to understand?

Show quote history

You are allowed to be worried whilst also allowing her to be an adult. You don’t have to take over and phone the landlord, she isn’t a child and neither are the other tenants.

CountFucula · 13/09/2026 21:02

Isn’t this every student house???

Up to your daughter and flatmates to sort - you can encourage and support her of course but you phoning the landlord infantilises her. She can handle it.