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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to raise my husband's frequent cricket socialising and drinking?

50 replies

Annoyedcricketwidow · 13/09/2026 00:15

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable. My DH is very much into cricket and the season is just coming to an end.

He's got two matches a week (one evening and one weekend) and it's always the pub afterwards. This is fine, I find it a bit much and quite annoying (especially as we have a son who is 7 it would be nice to have him home more) but we still go on holidays etc in summer (I know some cricket families don't) and he's obviously allowed to have a hobby.

HOWEVER- and this is the crux- for the last 4 weekends straight he's been out with the team either Saturday or Sunday drinking, he's never leary or awful but has loads of drinks, i just find it way too much and really unhealthy and frankly, very off-putting. I want to say something but don't want to be controlling. He's mid 40s as well so is it not a bit old to get battered that much??! Then I know in cricket there is a lot of drinking so maybe this is just part of it? He's a 10/10 husband otherwise! AIBU to say something?

OP posts:
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caringcarer · 13/09/2026 14:06

CypressGrove · 13/09/2026 01:12

Does your 7 year old pay cricket? I've got male friends who play cricket themselves and they also coach their kids teams etc so the whole club is part of the families social life. This sounds like its just your husband's thing though?

This gets your son playing and your DH can take him to his junior matches then DS can watch DH on a Saturday. I have 3 teens all playing cricket but 2 play for 1 club and the other for a different Club. DH and I go and take a big picnic. DH used to play and coach until he got too old and he knee went. We go as a family and really enjoy it. When DS were small DH played and we went to watch him then as they got big enough to play junior cricket he coached them. 1 is a county player now. It's a nice sport to be involved with.

MrsPinkSky · 13/09/2026 14:03

99bottlesofkombucha · 13/09/2026 13:57

are you and all your friends and family teetotallers?

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Not at all.

Why do you ask?

It doesn’t take a teetotaller to recognise that the OP has more of a problem with the amount rather than the smell.

So I’m not sure why she’s using the smell as an excuse.

99bottlesofkombucha · 13/09/2026 13:57

MrsPinkSky · 13/09/2026 13:32

This sounds a bit silly because one pint of beer smells exactly the same as 5 for example.

Are there any drinks that you approve the smell of?

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are you and all your friends and family teetotallers?

sittingonabeach · 13/09/2026 13:53

What would happen if you wanted to go out on a Saturday night with your friends @Annoyedcricketwidow

MrsPinkSky · 13/09/2026 13:32

Annoyedcricketwidow · 13/09/2026 08:18

Of course people are allowed out. What I'm less enthused about is him coming home reeking of beer rather than just have a couple of pints.

Right now I'm up with my son painting whilst he's in bed

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This sounds a bit silly because one pint of beer smells exactly the same as 5 for example.

Are there any drinks that you approve the smell of?

BillieWiper · 13/09/2026 13:29

Annoyedcricketwidow · 13/09/2026 13:07

Yeah he doesn't do anything bad. He merrily sits around the table chatting, there's nothing untoward going on, and he is home usually at 10pm..I think I'll later raise the issue about the drinking calmly. I'll say he can play all the cricket he wants by that the bing drinking has got to stop, period

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Ok but that might be a bit extreme. Are you saying literally no drinking with mates til 10pm? If you're allowed that then so should he. Just less frequently. And if you say 'it stops. Period.' You have to be prepared to literally split up if he does it again.

CherryKerry · 13/09/2026 13:13

Presuming you both work, kid goes to school so weekends are your only proper family time.

Saturday you're effectively a single parent and guessing Sunday will be a write off as he'll be hungover, tired and not legal to drive anywhere.

Does he manage to do all his laundry at the weekend, if not I wouldn't be doing it for him.....

Original poster
Annoyedcricketwidow · 13/09/2026 13:07

BillieWiper · 13/09/2026 12:03

If he doesn't do anything bad when he's pissed I don't really see the issue with going out once a week. As long as you can do the same.

But it's true its not very healthy to binge drink.
It's not the cricket, it's the drinking you're worried about.

He'll try and say the two are one and the same but in reality he could excuse himself from some of the drinking sessions or leave early.

Yeah he doesn't do anything bad. He merrily sits around the table chatting, there's nothing untoward going on, and he is home usually at 10pm..I think I'll later raise the issue about the drinking calmly. I'll say he can play all the cricket he wants by that the bing drinking has got to stop, period

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 13/09/2026 12:03

If he doesn't do anything bad when he's pissed I don't really see the issue with going out once a week. As long as you can do the same.

But it's true its not very healthy to binge drink.
It's not the cricket, it's the drinking you're worried about.

He'll try and say the two are one and the same but in reality he could excuse himself from some of the drinking sessions or leave early.

momager22 · 13/09/2026 12:00

Easy, tell him you’ll be going to your yoga class/ swim/ sauna then brunch with the girls every Sunday starting next week. He has to be up with DC at 7/8am and do the parenting all day until you get home. He gets a whole afternoon/ evening to himself, why shouldn’t you get a whole morning ?

YourAmberExpert · 13/09/2026 11:47

Can't bear excessive drinking for health and social reasons regardless of cricket. He doesn't have to link the two

IsItSnowing · 13/09/2026 11:42

I'm with you on the drinking. My DH and sons (both adults now) play or are involved in cricket and have done always. It's their hobby and I have no problem with that. None of them drink much though and if my DH came home drunk smelling of beer after every game I'd be very unimpressed. Cricket is a sport. Yes, they will gather in the bar after a game for a quick pint or for many, a soft drink. But it's not a regular thing for everyone to get plastered.

Original poster
Annoyedcricketwidow · 13/09/2026 10:48

ExtraOnions · 13/09/2026 08:58

A “couple of pints” smells no different to 6 pints.

It’s one night out a week, over a period of 5 months.

It’s 8am on a Sunday nobody needs to be up painting with a 7 year old, certainly not two people.

Nothing in your replies has explained the “riot act” needing to be read.

… maybe you need to get your own hobby.

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I very much have my own hobby. And yes I think one parent will most definitely have to be up with the 7 year old, what else are we supposed to do? It's called good parenting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Annoyedcricketwidow · 13/09/2026 09:49

CherryViper · 13/09/2026 09:45

Does he spend a day recovering or is he fully involved?

If you don't get equal downtime, if he checks out during cricket season, he is a 1/10 husband.

I would find all day drinking with mates unattractive. Cricket is a hobby, binge drinking every weekend is not.

In fairness it's not all day. It's a few hours but plenty of pints. Nevertheless it's very unattractive and I'm going to tell him this today. He doesn't spend the day recovering but it's very much me who does most active things with DS

OP posts:
CherryViper · 13/09/2026 09:45

Does he spend a day recovering or is he fully involved?

If you don't get equal downtime, if he checks out during cricket season, he is a 1/10 husband.

I would find all day drinking with mates unattractive. Cricket is a hobby, binge drinking every weekend is not.

Pinkflamingo10 · 13/09/2026 09:39

Yanbu. This is drinking to excess. But not only that it’s presuming you’re the default parent for the day out playing, the night out drinking and the next morning while he’s hungover in bed. He’s living his single man best life!

Mindboggl · 13/09/2026 09:37

Remove the playing of cricket from this and ask yourself whether you’d find that amount of drinking / socialising appropriate for a married man with a child.

The hobby is the red herring here; it lends some false legitimacy to him going out twice a week for day / evening sessions and getting shitfaced.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 13/09/2026 09:37

I'd frame it that you're worried about his drinking rather than the cricket (which does, to be honest, sound like the case). Bingeing is worse for you than steady intake and and it does seem that he might be trying to keep up with other more hardened drinkers (if he's only doing this during the season).

However, now the season is over, you're not really going to know whether any conversation you have is effective until next year, are you? He might promise never to drink more than one pint a night - but until you see his promise put into action next year, how can you trust it?

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 13/09/2026 09:37

Home by 10 is a very different experience to when my DH was playing cricket 🤣 Once a week during the season would be fine as long as he wasn’t so hungover he was totally useless the following day.

NewNewYork · 13/09/2026 09:33

If you think you'll get a positive response by approaching this while you're cross and he's hungover I think you should think again.

My advice is to ride out the season and have a think about Why it bothers you and be positive about that. Do you WANT more time together? If so, frame it that way and talk in specifics. Build off season weekends to suit that and go from there.

But if it's simply that you don't like him doing it and you frame it that way (reading the riot act??) then I think you're on a hiding to nothing.

LittleBearPad · 13/09/2026 09:32

Annoyedcricketwidow · 13/09/2026 09:28

Thank you guys. So many different opinions, I'm not sure what to do. Rather than making a massive hoo haa I've decided I'll have a constructive talk with him today for starters. I must admit that he's never out past midnight (in fact mostly home at 10pm) as some other poster said their partner would be out till 3am, that's not the case for us.

How much is he drinking?

Youve said ‘loads’ but on MN that can be anything from two pints to ten.

Original poster
Annoyedcricketwidow · 13/09/2026 09:28

Thank you guys. So many different opinions, I'm not sure what to do. Rather than making a massive hoo haa I've decided I'll have a constructive talk with him today for starters. I must admit that he's never out past midnight (in fact mostly home at 10pm) as some other poster said their partner would be out till 3am, that's not the case for us.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 13/09/2026 09:27

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 13/09/2026 09:03

It’s two nights a week, and someone has to be up with the 7 year old, why does it always have to be the OP?

No one has to be up with a 7 year old.

LittleBearPad · 13/09/2026 09:27

I’m not sure I understand why you were so cross you couldn’t sleep.

How much had he had as he’s going to smell pretty beer-y after three or so pints which over the course of an evening really isn’t that much.

The season is surely pretty much over now too.

Theringcycle · 13/09/2026 09:20

YANBU. We’re a very cricket family and my husband works in the sport as well, and your husband is painting a picture of a drinking culture that I just don’t observe as universal at all anymore, so I think this is about him and his friends, not a cricket culture as such (although cricket definitely takes them out of the domestic circle for long periods of family time). Yes after a game my husband’s team will stay for a pint or two in the clubhouse but the big nights out are a couple of nights a year for the special presentation dinners. Even the actual England team are supposed to be reining it in. So I think you’re being expected to see the nights out as part-and-parcel of the hobby - they’re not - they’re what this group of men have chosen! Also as a PP has said, a lot of men in club cricket with playing-age kids transition cricket into a family activity even if their kids aren’t that interested in playing, eg we go along to watch, take a picnic, my younger ones lark around beyond the boundary. Really sounds to me like he wants to carry on with his mates as if he doesn’t have a wife and son at home and is framing cricket culture to enable that.