AIBU to raise my husband's frequent cricket socialising and drinking?

He’s not a 10/10 husband. Mine is, on a good day, an 8/10 husband who loves cricket - but even he gave up the weekend games when we had kids. It’s a shit hobby if you’ve got a family and it’s even more selfish to then extend your free time by going to the pub.

I voted you're not being unreasonable as I think it's excessive and that's just not cricket

Does your 7 year old pay cricket? I've got male friends who play cricket themselves and they also coach their kids teams etc so the whole club is part of the families social life. This sounds like its just your husband's thing though?

I think that one weekend day of playing plus drinks afterwards during the cricket season is reasonable. Even if he came straight home after the match, your boy would be pretty much in bed. Team sports are a social thing. A few drinks afterwards are important.

Get wise. Other people have holidays, he’s making you feel lucky by making you think that you are getting more than others, when really he’s doing the minimum for your family.
Yes there will be opportunities to drink every week, it doesn’t mean everyone goes every week.

Don't talk to him while you're angry. Sit on it for now.
Maybe raise it when the season's over, in a more positive way? "Oh it's lovely to have you around at weekends now - did you think the drinking was getting a bit excessive?" sort of thing.
If he's a good husband, and it's his only social outlet, I don't think it's unreasonable.

That is an awful and unhealthy amount of alcohol he is drinking. You are right to be concerned about that, let alone the amount of time he is spending with his pals in the pub.I dont know why you are so apologetic about being upset about this. Having cricket as a hobby is pretty acceptable but having drinking as a hobby isn't.

Never heard of husbands been given marks out of ten before but I certainly don't think a husband who goes drinking for large amounts of time and comes home reeking of beer is a decent husband and father.

You knew he played cricket when you met him

Having a hobby is acceptable. Spending large amounts of family money in the pub is not, unless you can afford it. I'm not surprised you find him undesirable.

The past 4 weeks, he’s been to the pub for drinks either on a Saturday or Sunday night? I fail to see the problem, people are allowed out. Whether cricket is imvolved, or not, it’s a night out at the weekend.

Cricket season last what 5 months, with a good few weekends rained off.

He’s in his mid-40s, not his mid 80’s.

Maybe you need to get a hobby yourself.

I can’t figure out what made you so angry you can’t sleep.

”Read him the riot act” about what ?

Of all the sports DH has turned his hand to, cricket was always the worst for this.

How is he the next day, is he up with DS or moping around hungover? If it’s purely seasonal and he’s still functioning around it I’d be less bothered. But if it’s basically taking him out of commission for the whole weekend I’d probably want to talk about it before the next season starts.

It’s a day and night out with the expectation that OP will be the default parent (probably for a large part of the following day too if he comes home steaming).

I am completely with you OP. I made a similar post ages ago and got crucified for being annoyed at my partner being out until 3-4am when he goes out. Similar age. To me it’s mental that he still wants nights out like that and I’m so far past that I don’t even know where you’d go at that time. But like your husband, it only seems to be for part of the year. So may—August it was 2/3 times a month at weekends and once during the week. Now it’s settling down and he only goes out maybe once a month. A positive is at least there’s a hobby involved. My partner’s hobby just seems to be the drinking/social aspect. People called me controlling etc. but I think we’re all allowed to have our opinions and I think it’s perfectly acceptable to voice your concerns and compromise to something you’re both comfortable with. I’ve let it go as like you said, other than that he’s a great partner. And I’m hoping it dies down in years to come as a lot of his friends are younger and don’t have kids but getting to that stage now.

I’d he goes out all day and evening on a Saturday would he mind if you did the same on the Sunday? Does he take your son out on the other weekend day? Does he contribute to the household? Will he be getting school bags sorted and making lunch?

If he takes over on the one weekend day he’s there I wouldn’t mind so much, if the OP is still doing it all I’d be angry.

A “couple of pints” smells no different to 6 pints.

It’s one night out a week, over a period of 5 months.

It’s 8am on a Sunday nobody needs to be up painting with a 7 year old, certainly not two people.

Nothing in your replies has explained the “riot act” needing to be read.

… maybe you need to get your own hobby.

It’s two nights a week, and someone has to be up with the 7 year old, why does it always have to be the OP?

I wouldn't be happy with my husband:

• going out for the day and evening every weekend
• going out drinking without me every weekend
• drinking that much on even a semi regular basis let alone every weekend

Combine the three and I would be reconsidering the relationship unless something changed.