AIBU not to apologise after child hit head near shop door

I don't think you should have needed to apologize. I got told off recently for tripping over a dog on a long lead I saved myself from falling and just as I was about to walk on the dog owner yelled at me to apologize to the dog!

Meaning, keep an eye on him for the next couple of hours in case he's hurt, as he's just banged his head. Not, keep an eye on him it's your fault because you didn't.

I'd have asked them if they were ok but I wouldn't have apologised.

I know, no basic human decency. When I was walking on a path last winter on a particular icy day, a lady fell over, and I helped her up and said, "I'm sorry, are you okay?" Everyone else just walked on by. What a world...

“Maybe keep an eye on him” is judgemental, inflammatory and unnecessary. I’m sure anyone who’s kid is hurt when they aren’t watching will know they should have been watching.

Jesus Christ how would it have hurt you to just say sorry? Even if it is the other persons fault. Everything is such a drama these days.

It does not admit liability to simply say sorry. Any lawyer will tell you that. If you say “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there” or “I’m sorry my foot slipped off the break” then sure, but just saying “I’m sorry, are you ok?” Doesn’t admit liability. Insurance companies will use anything in negotiations, but there is no legal basis for them doing so.

I'd have followed the child back to the parents and said,
he just banged his head on the door, not sure if you saw, maybe keep an eye on him, hope he's ok.

Because that would be the human empathetic thing to do if a child hurt themselves, whoever was at 'fault".

This ^
You can be sorry somebody hurt themself without taking responsibility). I would have asked the child if they were okay, and said to parent what had happened. It wasn't the little kid's fault.

If it was a glass door, presumably she was at the very least aware of the child? Did she use her forward planning and observation skills? For example, when you are driving a car and there is a child at the side of the road, you don’t just carry on regardless, you are aware the kid can run out in front of you. If you hit them , you don’t just say “oh well, he shouldn’t have done that” and move on.

Saying sorry in this situation isn’t “sorry I did that” it is “I’m sorry that happened” most sensible people without the coldest heart would be sorry a kid hurt themselves in a situation they were involved in. The alternative is to think “serves him right.”

Without knowing how old the child was, it’s hard to tell whether the parents were entirely in the wrong here. A kid of 2 or 3 should be totally supervised, one of 6 or 7 doesn’t necessarily need eyes on 100% of the time. For all you know, the kid wandered away for a minute, swung on the bar and the parents turned round just as you appeared to hit him with a door. Why you wouldn’t at least bring him over and explain to them what happened is beyond me. “He swung on that bar just as I opened the door and he caught his head on it. Terrible timing, sorry he’s hurt, hope he’s ok” Just standing watching him walk back there, presumably in tears is a really dickish move.

"You fucking idiot", (under the breath of course because THINK OF THE CHILDREN) would be more appropriate.

As for the PP upthread who called it "an injured child". Yeah, nah

I would have said ‘sorry’ as in ‘sorry that happened’ not ‘sorry that was my fault’.

It’s just nice.

I would have said “sorry” because in my mind “I’m sorry” expresses regret or guilt over your own actions, but “sorry” on its own is just a general expression of regret that something happened, without admitting any blame.

I was actually told by police and insurance that saying sorry admits liability (yes in relation to car accidents etc). But this is why I also don't unless something is directly MY fault.

But I would have maybe said in this instance "hope their ok..shame we dont have eyes on the back of our heads eh?"

What did you/your daughter say? Would it have been any different if it wasn’t a child? I don’t think you had to apologise as it wasn’t your fault but I’d have said something like ‘oh dear are you okay?’ the family were probably embarrassed that they weren’t supervising correctly so made it about you not apologising instead.

Not sure that needs to lubricate anything with a parent who lets their child do dangerous things and then expects unwitting strangers to apologise.

I've been told I say sorry too much so I ask in a really sympathetic tone; are you alright, that looked like it really hurt 😳 that way I'm showing concern but not admitting liability.

It’s famously part of Canadian culture as well, and I was having a conversation with a Filipino coworker recently where it came out that he also thinks it’s a bit off not to apologise for little things where you’ve accidentally hurt/inconvenienced someone even when you know you’re not technically in the wrong. It’s a social dance to smooth over problematic situations.
What is stranger to me is the American social norm, creeping into Britain, of never apologising because it’s an admission of liability rather than a social lubricant.
I would have said sorry.

I would always apologise if I hurt someone whether it was their fault or not, because I would be sorry. Are you not sorry you hurt someone with a door?

The child was playing about and the parent wasn't supervising him so no apology needed

Maybe, I'm sorry that you're a shite parent

The notion that it’s dickish, graceless or impolite to not apologize when you have no reason to has always been, and will remain, baffling to me, but then I am not British and it is not my cultural norm.

I wouldn't have apologised, but would have said some thing like 'are you OK? You really need to be more careful.'

It was accidental, but you should still apologise for accidentally hurting someone.

When I was a teenager i remember a little girl running into my foot and tripping over, and I didn't apologies because I thought "that wasn't my fault". So the kid just lie on the ground and I, as an awkward teen, didn't really know what to do and just stood there.

Looking back, I now realise that was just dickish behaviour because I now understand that an apology in such a scenario is less about admitting blame and just about showing a bit of care and empathy towards a child who has perhaps done something a bit daft.

But the point is - kids do daft things, and as adults we should have the emotional maturity handle the situation with a bit of grace and politeness, and I think I would have commented in the same way as the kids mum.

I think we need to stop socialising women to be sorry for things they haven’t done.