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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Affairs

90 replies

Sheerluxee · 12/09/2026 15:57

Has anyone been able to predict if any of their relatives or friends’ DH,l would have an affair?

Do most men, let’s say over half, have affairs do you think?

OP posts:
UnctuousUnicorns · 12/09/2026 19:14

Madamefroufrou · 12/09/2026 19:00

perhaps you should rephrase this remark

😮 O what a difference one little letter makes!

Sheerluxee · 12/09/2026 19:14

Madamefroufrou · 12/09/2026 19:00

perhaps you should rephrase this remark

Unable to edit the post

OP posts:
Ribenaberry12 · 12/09/2026 19:11

One couple I knew she had an affair and it blindsided me. I knew they weren’t happy but didn’t think that would be how it would end, if at all. They split up and years later, despite her husband saying to me that he would never, ever get involved with a woman who was married because of his own hurt, he did. You just never can tell.

Contain4 · 12/09/2026 19:09

IME it’s more women that have affairs (and no they’re not manipulated into it).

I’d probably say it’s about 50/50

I can guess a lot of the women who have affairs - they seem to love attention and it’s the extra attention they crave more than the sex.

Whereas I feel with men it’s more about sex.

I can typically take a guess of the women but many of the men I’m pretty shocked about.

It’s always the ones that I least expect (not in all cases) and I struggle with that because I know there are good men out there but these men make me lose faith.

Franxi · 12/09/2026 19:00

Half of men have affairs?! Where are you getting these stats from 😂

I also think it’s pretty insulting to paint women as stupid, vulnerable, easily led, sheep.

Madamefroufrou · 12/09/2026 19:00

Sheerluxee · 12/09/2026 16:20

The sheer number of older married men that have come into me in the workplace 🤮
I’m not married!

perhaps you should rephrase this remark

DailyPlanner · 12/09/2026 18:48

Sheerluxee · 12/09/2026 16:19

men often lie and manipulate to women they’re having affairs with, that’s the difference @moonraker0

I actually find these comments so offensive.
You realise women are as intelligent (if not more) than men, as mentally strong, and as able? We are not silly little idiots easy to mislead. Well, some are obviously, but the majority of us are not.

It takes 2 to have an affair.

It's a ridiculous stereotype, obviously, but how often do tv shows talk about bored women having affairs with their pool guys?

Some PEOPLE have affairs. Do most men, let’s say over half, have affairs do you think? no.
Do most women, let's say over half, have affairs? no. I doubt it.

Many people are not obsessed with having sex with any random, some people have lives and have more interesting things to do 😂

MellowSubmarine · 12/09/2026 18:42

The only people I know of who had an affair were a mum and a dad at school, both married to other people, and can only assume both were aware the other was married, given the circumstances.

She is still married. Not sure about him.

emptythebin · 12/09/2026 18:38

I know 2 married women who had affairs but I didn’t know them very well.

moonraker0 · 12/09/2026 16:39

Sheerluxee · 12/09/2026 16:19

men often lie and manipulate to women they’re having affairs with, that’s the difference @moonraker0

Well the people I know who’ve had affairs knew exactly what they were doing. I think it’s a cop out and insulting to women to say they are easy to manipulate.

RaraRachael · 12/09/2026 16:22

I've never known anybody who's had an affair IRL. But I live in a place where everybody knows everybody so I don't think you'd get away with it.

Sheerluxee · 12/09/2026 16:20

The sheer number of older married men that have come into me in the workplace 🤮
I’m not married!

OP posts:
Sheerluxee · 12/09/2026 16:19

men often lie and manipulate to women they’re having affairs with, that’s the difference @moonraker0

OP posts:
moonraker0 · 12/09/2026 16:14

I’d say if half of men have affairs then the same must be said of women because it takes two to have an affair. I know the default opinion on MN is that men are worse for doing it which is something I’ve never understood given that they need a woman to participate.

emptythebin · 12/09/2026 16:05

Yes & no, one marriage which broke down I always knew something wasn’t right in their relationship, she was never fully relaxed or herself around him but whilst I thought the marriage would likely be short I didn’t necessarily think it would be cheating that ended it. Another marriage that ended over cheating took me by complete surprise because the DH just didn’t seem the type. Their are some husbands in our circle who I would have said are the type to cheat but nothing is out in the open so
I assume I was wrong/they matured.

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