To request DD be assessed for autism?

Well if theu are getting 25% more time in exams than everyone else then I am not surprised!
When Reform gets in that nonsense will stop!

The autism spectrum isn't a sliding scale of a little bit of autism to a lot autism: its made up of traits that people have so that's why everyone different, read up on it before seeking a diagnosis.

I got really nervous before my assessment as I’d convinced myself I was over reacting and then worrying about if it I wasn’t on the spectrum, then what was going on as something definitely was!

if she doesn’t want the school involved then maybe wait till she’s 18 or go private - I don’t know the process nowadays but I’d assume at 18 it’s up to her who’s involved.

I think at her age and stage it’s worth her considering what she might get from a diagnosis.
if she thinks that there are reasonable adjustments that might help her at college and later in the workplace (and she is prepared to be open about her DX to get them put in place), then it’s worth going through the system.
if it’s just a need to know on her part and you can afford to, then I’d go private with a reputable psychiatrist or specialised clinical psychologist.
she sounds very similar to myself as a teen (although you’re clearly doing a far better job of parenting her than I received). I only started to query if I myself might be AS aged 30, after my son got a DX aged 3 (he also had additional learning delays so there was quite a marked difference between him and his peers - he always stood out in groups of children).
I got a psychometric assessment as I was studying and struggling with the so called easy stuff and breezing through the actual real work stuff. It was suggested then that I might be on the spectrum and that was fine as I was well connected in to the autism community through my son so among my people as it were, no issues with isolation or the bullying I had at school etc.
it’s only in latter years I went to seek formal DX as finding things increasingly difficult and was trying to establish the cause. In the event was DX with what they used to call Asperger and inattentive ADHD (so minus the H - although husband thinks it’s very present!). Apparently menopause can cause more issues at that point.

I think the point is that if she finds her tribe that’s the main thing, and she doesn’t need a DX for that. Is it possible to find a local group for intellectually able girls on the spectrum?
the other thing I would say is keep an eye on her mental health as even if she’s good now, this can start to tank a bit as the challenges and demands increase.

basicsllt if she wants to start the process let her. She doesn’t have to tell anyone unless she wants to or needs to for adjustments (and even then she can just say she’s sensitive to light or whatever. I used to pretend I was slightly deaf, cup my ear and turn my head away do I could hear without having to look at their face!)

Oh stop with the bullshit. No one who is neurotypical and has no issues is sat around thinking 'you know what I could really do with today? An autism diagnosis'.

The way things are going with seeking and recieving diagnosis for symptoms as described here, the our of the norm will be to not be ADHD or ASD very soon! Then what?

If she went for a diagnosis-whether private or not, any reputable clinicians would be asking the teachers to complete questionnaires as well, so the teachers should be informed as part of the assessment/information gathering process.

The vast majority of people behave differently with different people. That’s not masking, it’s adapting to different situations. I didn’t like particular teachers so was more withdrawn in some lessons than others. I loved my English teacher and was very chatty in her classes. I never swear at work, but swear in front of my DH and friends.
If your DD thinks she might be autistic, tell her to speak to her GP and take it from there.

I would say that if someone thinks they have ASD or their parents think they do, get assessed. Don’t assume that because everything seems to be ticking along reasonably well, that it will always be like this. I wish I had had my eldest assessed sooner. He had a nightmare of a time when he hit his teens. He has the full set with ADHD as well as ASD (and lots of associated physical issues such as hyper mobility and IBS.) Girls are better at masking, probably due to social conditioning, so a 17yo girl could seem just fine at the minute, but that may not last. So many girls are misdiagnosed with other conditions. All those years of thinking they’re unwell when in fact they have ASD.

If you want an NHS one she will be waiting a very long time. Well into adulthood. NHS autism assessment waiting lists are currently very long, with around 294,000 people waiting for an assessment - waiting time varies by trust but she could be waiting up to 3 years.

If she wants one quickly you’ll need to pay private. A few grand.

There doesn't need to be a broad development delay, but there does need to be a delay in social communication from early childhood with autism. It's a part of the diagnostic criteria, although it can easily be missed. Especially when speech appears typical for their age.

You are right, they are still developing. But autism doesn’t always mean developmental delays. I was interviewed as part of my daughter’s assessment and they asked lots of questions about her childhood. I had always thought she was a normal, typical child, with a few behaviours that were just her, and seemed normal to me, because I had been the same as a child. Realised later that could be because perhaps I was autistic too?
My friend’s granddaughter is going to Cambridge this year, my own granddaughter got a first at Oxford. Both autistic. I heard it is not uncommon at those two universities for students to be autistic!

I know that when my daughter was diagnosed aged 42 it made a tremendous difference to her. She felt she then had ‘permission’ to stop masking and be herself. She got a sunflower lanyard which helps when in crowded places or when travelling, and it got her extra support at university where she was doing her masters. I’m 77 so it is a bit late for an assessment, but her diagnosis and those of her children has made me look more closely at myself and made me realise that I am probably autistic, as was one of my brothers, and that my dad almost certainly was as well. My grandfather died before I was born, but I am sure from what my Granny used to say, that he was probably autistic too.
My grandson who is 16 and has just started college has been able to access a lot of support because of his diagnosis. I think that you should get your daughter assessed. It certainly won’t hurt and could probably benefit her enormously.

Is it not normal for teenagers to feel different? They're still developing their identity and sense of self. Feeling more comfortable around some people and having different types of interactions with different people is normal to is it not? Many people struggle with change. Everyone will have traits that are traits some autistic people have. The key to it being a disorder is it having a significant impact on functioning. Your DD sounds like she is doing very well, sociable, still in education at 17, able to meet her own needs and care for a pet. Part of the diagnostic criteria is symptoms being present since early childhood too. Is there any evidence in early school reports of impaired functioning or development delays?

If she’s 17 and at school then my team wouldn’t do an assessment on her without getting information from school or another source (therapist/ tutor/ social worker etc).

if she was diagnosed and wanted support at school then the senco/ teachers would need to know anyway.

DD got her diagnosis at 17, we started the process at 14/15.

She’s “high functioning” but that’s a really unhelpful expression. She ended to with EBSA in Y10 & 11, and it’s really taken us until now (aged 20) to get back on track educationally.

The diagnosis was really helpful for her, she has a lot of anxiety that stems from the ASD, and Sertraline was a bit of a lifesaver.

It helped her understand why she is as she is, and also helped with college, so Learning Support are there to help with things as well.

You need to speak to GP. If she is high functioning she will probably be allowed extra processing time in exams and extensions for written work but nothing else. It may give her a greater understanding of herself. She's almost 18 so i would kindly suggest this is all up to her and for her to disclose should she choose it. The whole process is about 18-24 months

I don't know why people think that masking is a sign of autism/ADHD. Everyone around me, when they are comfortable to open up with admit that they mask in certain situations. I've spent all my life masking. It's mainly about appearing more confident than what we truly feel inside.

Your girl sounds like a typical 17yo. Something's she's good at, others she is still finding her way with. Why wanting a diagnosis?

She sounds totally normal to me. Just because people can have some issues around socialising or whatever, doesn't mean they need to jump to a diagnosis. Somethings will just be a part of growing up or just their regular personality traits.

Also being able to mask and managing well doesn’t make her less likely to be diagnosed. That’s not how it works.

A current teacher wouldn’t need to know. She would be going for an adult assessment which doesn’t involve the school. I paid for my DD to be assessed privately after she was on the child assessment wait list from age 12 and when she was 16 they removed her because she’d be 18 before she got to the top. So two months after her 18th birthday, she had her private assessment as an adult and it was a huge help for university accommodations (and the report includes accommodations for future employers).

All they needed was a bunch of questionnaires for her to fill out, a questionnaire for a relative who knew her as a child (could be you), and then a long interview with the assessor one on one, then we did a couple hours with me in there too answering questions with her as well.

The professors at university will know whatever the she and the disability office at the University agree they should know. Her accommodations are mostly about group projects, public speaking, blunt communication style, being too literal so needs clear instructions, etc.

Unfortunately given the NHS waiting lists she will turn 18 and in the ‘adult’ system well before she can get near the top of any list for assessment.
any chance you can go private?

I'd also add that everyone I know who sought an assessment as an adult (I'm in a bit of an online community, not intentionally but it's tech focused and many of us are) were convinced that they weren't going to be considered autistic and were worried we were over reacting or being dramatic!