To request DD be assessed for autism?

Spoken like a true reformer!

Because if you find that you can't seem to get better at certain things, no matter how hard you try, and other people seem to make progress in the same area, it can be helpful to know that there's a reason why, and that you need to approach it differently. In the same way that many people in my parents generation grew up not knowing they were dyslexic and grew up with the shame of feeling that they were 'stupid' or 'lazy' because that's what teachers and society around them impressed on them. Instead there would be posters on here scoffing that they wanted excuses or a label for 'being a bit bad at spelling'.

she sounds normal to me. Why does everything need a label.

With much kindness, there is not much in your description that is clearly pointing to autism?

Masking as an autistic person isn't the same thing as a neurotypical person adapting to different social situations. The fact that a neurotypical person can read the social situations and understand what is required and react appropriate pretty much subconsciously is the whole bloody point, an autistic person cant do that.
Instead we think ahead, plan, rehearse, act and are happy if we're 50% as successful as the NT person. And that's forgetting that there's tonnes of other compensations that autistic people have to manage to get through the day.

Honestly there's comments in here about NT resenting having to adapt or make concessions, yet I bet I'm not supposed to point out that as a ND person I have to continuously make concessions for NT who are incapable or unwilling to do basic fucking research or think they should comment on concepts where they understand 10% of what they're talking about. Complete failure to use logic or analysis, wouldn't happen in a ND world yet you think you're the ones making concessions!

There are a few things in your posts, op.

Firstly, the autism spectrum isn't a linear scale. It's more like a dartboard.

The assessment process now includes questionnaires designed to consider masking behaviours. It also includes retrieving evidence from parents, teachers, other professionals where relevant, which build a fuller picture of the individual than a single ADOS assessment can determine. An individual may not meet the diagnosis threshold on the ADOS due to masking, but still reach the threshold on the basis of other evidence.

What level of impairment is there in your dd's every day life? Does she have mental health difficulties? Friendship problems? Executive funciion weaknesses that make it hard for her to process information? Communication difficulties? You say she's interested in seeking diagnosis to help her with school, but what does that actually mean and look like?

Then there's the assessment waiting time. If she's already 17 and wanting an assessment to help with school, then I'm sorry to say but I think that ship has sailed. It could of course still help if she has aspirations of higher education, but even then you may need to consider paying for a private assessment.

A diagnosis would help her to understand herself and develop strategies to cope with situations she finds particularly hard. I'm just not sure of the level of impact here?

For context, my 9yo dd was diagnosed in March. She's 'high functioning' (for want of a better description because she's not 'profoundly' autistic) but she's had severe mental health problems since starting school, 3 episodes of school avoidance, and two episodes of agoraphobia due to burnout. She 'functions' for periods of time, then falls apart when the understanding and support falls away because she doesn't seem to many to be 'autistic enough'. She's also had very noticeable sensory differences which have been very apparent to us since she was a toddler, but which she hides at school.

she still needs to learn some strategies to help her navigate life around the issues she has.
Diagnosis is a double edged sword; it can sometimes cause nocebo effects where the issues become magnified. Especially if the individual is seeking the diagnosis themselves
Exactly that! Diagnosis or not, we have a responsibility to learn to adjust. Too often it seems, people seek a diagnosis to be relieved of responsibility and for others to bathe adjustment to suit them.

I've had ADHD all my life. I don't need an official diagnosis for it. It didn't exist 30, years ago. I learned to adapt all on my own. Self reflection, putting strategies in place etc... at almost 60 years, I still have to use the strategies and come up with new ones.

That's life and no diagnosis will change it.

This

I would encourage you to support her in seeking a diagnosis. I first suspected I might have autism when I first heard of the existence of the concept in my early 20s but didn't pursue or do deeper research at that point and didn't actually get a diagnosis until my 40s. Many of the complicated things that happened in the intervening decades might have come out more positively with the knowledge and understanding I subsequently gained and I wish I had sought out more information sooner. A diagnosis isn't a label, it's a signpost to help you understand what to look for when things are difficult.

Just be aware that she may get a diagnosis of ASD but that will be it.
There will be no follow up or anything.
If she is suicidal you may get some help but it will be short and ineffective if our experience is anything to go by.

She may get more time in exams, she may not.
It might all be a little late though to get a diagnosis before mocks/exams, referral into CAMHS and a diagnosis took about 18 months for us.

Autism and ADHD do not automatically result in any extra time in exams. A test specifically for slow processing would be needed. You may get allowances for rest breaks (usually about 5 minutes per hour) if it is demonstrated that you would benefit from these. The school would have to provide evidence that you need these accommodations as part of your normal way of working. There has been a tightening of the rules, rightly in my opinion, around exam concessions.

This is quite a good paper explaining the issues with the idea of masking.

“in a preliminary study of the 25-item Camouflage Autistic Traits Questionnaire total score (CAT-Q; Hull et al., 2019), correlations with a social anxiety measure were as high or even higher than those with an autism measure, suggesting confounding by co-occurring social anxiety as further illustrated by some item content (e.g., ‘I am always aware of the impression I make on other people’).”

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32658354/

by Prof Fombonne

She won’t get an NHS diagnosis till she’s an adult as some areas have a 5year wait list and school have to have agree with you as they will come to school to assess her and they’ll need to fill in paperwork. If you go private make sure they use the NICE guidelines as otherwise it’s just junk and schools and universities don’t need to accept it which are more expensive around £2.5k

This is purely my personal experience.

Im very well aware of that discussion and a lot of the current research and debate thanks. Hence my post. I have also done a great deal of cpd and courses around autism and taught in the area for 25 years.

My 17yo dd came home tearful from college as her tutor had gently suggested she might be autistic. Dd told us she wanted the assessment and we were fortunate to be able to privately fund it after a GP phone consultation on which clinics were NHS approved (3/4 year wait otherwise). Within 3 months we had the diagnosis and a support plan that she could take with her to uni.
When asked she said it would have been good to know earlier as she just thought she was weird, but she's pleased to know now for moving forward.
For us it's been so helpful as we always suspected. Her assessor said that waiting for dd to be ready for assessment was the best course of action, because now she's in control of it (we felt very guilty for not pushing sooner...many reasons for that). The diagnosis has been 100% validating for her and the family, and we're all in a better place. There remain very challenging times as there always will be, but I'm personally grateful we did it. Good luck!

Wow you’re a teacher and not aware of the prevalence of masking and how autism can present in girls. And we wonder why autistic women and girls fly under the radar. 🙄

Apparently it has a term; impression management.

The HSP stuff is very biologically well evidenced. It’s linked to research done by a dr in the states on young children who are more reactive to the environment than mothers, via testing saliva responses to stress. The book is called the orchids and dandelions and is well worth a read.

1/5th of the population are thought to be hsp, as the dr found with the children he looked at. There’s a wide continuum too though. “Dandelions” just don’t seem to have as reactive or sensitive to things.

The orchid type is thought to be a beneficially evolutionary biologically linked personality trait.

The problem is with diagnosis isn’t what happens if she’s not diagnosed?

or even, what happens when she is?

she still needs to learn some strategies to help her navigate life around the issues she has.

Diagnosis is a double edged sword; it can sometimes cause nocebo effects where the issues become magnified. Especially if the individual is seeking the diagnosis themselves.

I'd start by asking what support she needs in school? They are required to provide accomodations regardless of a diagnosis.

Masking can be caused by many different things, assessment may help to narrow the possible causes down. I'd keep an open mind though regarding outcome.

Absolutely everyone masks. It’s a part of being a sociable human. The term in autism is very much debated and not evidenced- certainly the children I teach with autism can’t mask. At all. They can learn social conventions and it’s hard for them but we do teach them to do this.

She sounds more like the personality type called HSP. She could have social anxiety which I have and always had and describes her experiences well. It’s as exhausting for the children with autism who’ve had to learn certain social conventions. But over time it’s become second nature to be much less socially anxious. Being a teacher certainly forces the issue!

No harm in getting it done. I was assessed at 40, my husband was convinced Im autistic as did his entire family but it turns out I'm not

What does 'stop masking and be herself' actually look like on the ground, what is different now?