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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fed Up Woman

57 replies

fuw · 12/09/2026 10:29

DH is workaholic. Manual job Mon-Fr. And additional private work Sat (always) and Sunday (almost every). Think, plumber.
We had 1 property with small mortgage left, when 5 y ago we bought another property (with huge mortgage) to live and turned our first property into rental- which for 4y was very unsuccessful when my DH has let his distant family members rent it (against my wishes) and said family members did not pay rent. It took court proceedings to get them out in the end- by which time my DH was burrying his head in the sand and let me deal with the courts, as he didn’t know how to deal with the situation. All 4.5 years he was paying both mortgages. Rental only became profitable since April this year. In January both mortgages are coming to the end of cheap deal and will increase considerably.
And here comes my AIBU- I want us to sell the rental, pay off our mortgage (it will cover!) and live mortgage free with spare cash to save. We haven’t been to proper holiday for 5y, had to watch every penny and I am frankly fed up living my life like that! With the mortgages increased the rental will not cover the costs and we will be paying about £1.5k a months in mortgage payments additionally. I don’t see the point to keep the rental
property and live bellow acceptable level, where I have to make ends meet and think that I have to save for couple of months just to buy myself winter shoes!
Besides, our new house is not finished yet, there are some things we can not afford and will not be able to afford in the future.
I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think it would be better to divorce, get half of everything and leave him to it! As he thinks life is for working and earning as much money as he can.
Both properties in both names. He is paying both mortgages, I pay for food, clothes and all the bills in our home. I have no personal savings.
What would you suggest I do?

OP posts:
MaggieMop · 12/09/2026 18:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 12/09/2026 20:26

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Don't bother helping with children and housework = divorce.

SereneGoose · 12/09/2026 21:32

fuw · 12/09/2026 10:43

Yes and yes. It’s in my original post :)

How about you both see an IFA?

ChihuahuaChica · 13/09/2026 00:18

fuw · 12/09/2026 10:43

Yes and yes. It’s in my original post :)

It's not.

Thecatspantaloons · 13/09/2026 00:26

Prunesrlush · 12/09/2026 11:15

Thank you! I thought I was going insane!

Same, and I despise having to read long posts with no paragraphs and I had to read it twice 😩.

Snipitpls · 13/09/2026 09:39

Thecatspantaloons · 13/09/2026 00:26

Same, and I despise having to read long posts with no paragraphs and I had to read it twice 😩.

The OP was trying to gaslight us!

Snipitpls · 13/09/2026 09:39

This thread massively backfired on the Op

to say with a straight face that you WANT a holiday but then say you work very part time and have two pre teens ie at school - is farcical

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