AIBU to think sperm donors should consent before each embryo is used?

In The UK, donors have implications counselling which should discuss the various scenarios. No one should donate sperm or eggs without thinking through the possible long-term consequences.

Fine if embryos are created and used one at a time. No sperm or egg donor should have to give consent for their gametes to be used over an unlimited period.

I’m probably being naive here but why does there need to be a law about this at all? why not just allow the parties involved to write individual contracts that work for them. For some that may mean the embryos can be destroyed and for others not.

But how many men are there with a bunch of kids running around? Kids they don’t care about and have no relationship with. How many deadbeat dads?

I found out I have two half siblings with two different mothers, my dad knew about and didn’t care/has no relationship with

how is it different from sperm donation? (Though with sperm donation at least you know the bio father wanted you to be born)

YABU, just as a man loses any right to a say on a baby’s conception once he has had unprotected sex, so should he lose any rights on the conception once he has donated sperm
It's about entitlement to change your mind. What is the rational for women to have the right to do so, when it ends a potential life but men should be denied to right to change their mind to not start life at all?

Your attitude is power to women to do as they wish and men have no rights! You need to reconsider your opinion on sexism.

The women in the article above both read and signed an agreement that stated that their donor could remove his consent. If they werent happy about that, then they had no business using his sperm.

What a stupid post!

they give consent when they CHOOSE to donate!

if they want to have their sperm destroyed they should be able to do so.

if they sperm has already been used to create an embryo then no there is nothing they can/should do!

He wasn’t in a couple with the recipient, he was a sperm donor.

At a time when the birth rate is so low, this law is nonsensical.

He should be liable for some of the £23000 she wasted.

She could have spent that money and her eggs for embryos with another donor.

if they sperm has already been used to create an embryo then no there is nothing they can/should do!
Well you're wrong, thankfully so.

He should be liable for some of the £23000 she wasted
She paid to have the chance of another child, knowing the risks he could withdraw consent. Her responsibility. He owes this couple nothing.

You seem to repeatedly miss that people are using the word ‘should’.

I know what the law is, I’m saying what it should be.

They have consented on donation, and I think its fair enough that people have the option to have unused sperm/eggs taken out of the system on request, but if the embryo is already created it shouldn't fall under this imo.

Read the article. This donor's sperm was donated on the basis that he could withdraw his consent at any stage up to implantation. These women agreed to that.

Have you experienced infertility?

i see both sides.

he wasted their time and money and it’s so horrible and distressing having to destroy an embryo the so badly wanted but on other hand a lot of people don’t realise the seriousness of donating your egg/sperm, that will be a whole child, it’s like giving your child up for adoption imo. It’s a huge thing and I get changing their minds and With dna tests these days the child will come looking for you too. I read egg donation is same, it can be destroyed till it’s inside a woman’s body.

maybe they can make it so sperm donor agrees to compensate if he changes his mind as its a professional contract ?

very sad situation

It's a very difficult ethical question all round. I'm very sympathetic to the women affected by this but I can't help but think that the law is right - consent should be able to be withdrawn up until the moment of implantation. It's very sad but I don't think an argument of "it's cost someone £x,000 to get to this point so that makes it ok to ignore someone else's rights" holds together.

I totally disagree. I think the consent is given at the point of donation and it shouldn’t be possible to withdraw that consent once an embryo has been created.

A man and a woman provide sperm/eggs that are used in the creation of an embryo. If the woman subsequently decided that she didn't want to have that embryo implanted, should she have the right to decide that over the man's objections? I'd say she has that right.

If yes, if they split up and the man goes on to marry again, should the man have the right to have that embryo implanted in his second wife (assuming that second wife is consenting, of course) and over the objections of his first wife? I'd say no, because the egg donor should be able to withdraw consent concerning her genetic material. What do you think?

I agree but

The thing is, this was a business contract. Kinda different.

Also no child support would be expected, he went in unlike the father/mother who initially wanted the child

Sperm and egg donation is a financial transaction in many countries. It was common for male students to donate regularly when I was at university in the 80s - a nice little boost to their student grant. There are adverts on the London underground asking for women to donate their eggs - it’s not altruistic, they get paid.

I agree with you. I totally understand that isn’t the contract that these women entered into and they have no option but to abide by the man’s decision.

They consent went donating and they can withdraw consent anytime up until the point of insemination

This. An embryo conceived in the woman's body is part of her body and entirely her choice what she does with it. An embryo conceived in a petri dish is as much part of the man's body as the woman's, and therefore both parents have equal say.

I was 100% on Sofia Vergara's side when she stopped her ex from transferring their embryos into his new partner's womb, so I'm on the side of the sperm donor here as well.

Agree

my donor sperm was a few years frozen before we picked him and we had 8 years between kids. Would have absolutely devastated me if i could not have my second baby / as a full sibling

my donor was single and knew he was going on to meet someone and have his own