Page 2 | Have you ever dated a 'gangster/bad boy' - what was it like?

hotmumshit · 2026-09-12T02:00:05+00:00

And when (or did you ever) did you come to your senses?

Mairzydotes · 12/09/2026 21:26

Briefly, when I was about 19. We were only together a few months before he dumped me .

He was a racist skinhead, rather than a gangster and went round with a like minded group .

He was bloody gorgeous.

CharityShopMensGlasses · 12/09/2026 20:47

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 14:15

👀 singing or talking voice?

Youre well shot of him, eww

Imo though, a bad boy can take care of himself. This guy is venturing into cocklodger territory 🤢

Show quote history

Talking voice.
Also gold teeth which maybe should have been a red flag.

Gardenflowering · 12/09/2026 19:46

Not a gangster but a bad boy. My family were like 🫣
Married him. 26 years this year!

Was in my circle of friends, motorbikes riding, heavy metal guitarist, women left right and centre.
Then we got together. He was smitten. I had not fucks to spare so pretty much put him though the ringer. Could not be arsed.
Anyway, carried on with his motorbike riding but with me on the back. Carried on with his long hair heavy metal guitaring gigging.
Turned out to be a sweetheart, loyal, kind & totally a person looking for the right one.
Turned out he never was a bad boy, just looked like one & had the reputation of one.

JewelleryDilema · 12/09/2026 19:40

Yes when I was 22. He kept me very separate from whatever he was up so I don’t know exactly but it was nothing good. I broke up with him after I had reason to suspect he was involved in a stabbing. I had to completely block him from everything as he kept trying to get in contact with me. I’d by coincidence moved house not long after we split ip and he didn't know to where so that was lucky. No idea what happened to him, I’ve never wanted to find out!

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:39

Mooseylooseyloo · 12/09/2026 19:32

Well i had 2 kids with him and spent 14 years with him, im finally free of him in the physical sense but he still sends abuse by phone. Ive had him blocked for 6 mobths now.

Show quote history

So sorry - you did the right thing getting away and blocking him. Love makes us blind sometimes 🥺

OP posts:

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:39

BlueFahrenheit · 12/09/2026 19:25

Bad boys break hearts, which is why I have only had casual sex with them.

Ultimately, it depends on the man, especially if he has what the young ones call "aura". DH is a spicy Greek Arab and quite the mouthful 🤭

Edited

Show quote history

Quite the mouthful, not jealous at all!! 😄

Agree re bad boys, its best kept casual

Have you ever dated a 'gangster/bad boy' - what was it like?

OP posts:

Mooseylooseyloo · 12/09/2026 19:32

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:21

How awful - whats life like now?

Show quote history

Well i had 2 kids with him and spent 14 years with him, im finally free of him in the physical sense but he still sends abuse by phone. Ive had him blocked for 6 mobths now.

BlueFahrenheit · 12/09/2026 19:25

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:18

See after my d'alliance with a bad boy, I want a rich man

Great in bed, why not! Are the rich men also? 👀

Show quote history

Bad boys break hearts, which is why I have only had casual sex with them.

Ultimately, it depends on the man, especially if he has what the young ones call "aura". DH is a spicy Greek Arab and quite the mouthful 🤭

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:24

Sartre · 12/09/2026 07:49

Pinned me up against a wall twice by my throat, once with a knife. Would remove lipstick with a baby wipe because he didn’t like me wearing it. Removed my phone when I turned up at his house and wouldn’t return it till I begged so I couldn’t leave. Bullied me mercilessly but would pretend it was a joke. Then when I dumped him, he stalked me for 6 months till he jumped and grabbed me in the street one day and I called the police.

Left me alone after that but last year found my work email after googling me and started emailing me. It’s been well over a decade. He wanted me to know the “adult” him and who he’d become apparently. Then started sending pics of books he was reading because I’m an American Lit lecturer. I blocked the email so they go to deleted now.

In short, not worth it.

100% an awful experienxe for you - sounds like youve done well for yourself otherwise x

OP posts:

Jmpjmpleeds · 12/09/2026 19:23

People saying they're great in bed - how so? In terms of being domineering?

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:23

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 12/09/2026 07:44

Yip. He'd been in prison for armed robbery, had a sex addiction and was bloody gorgeous. It was wild and exciting but also hugely fucked up. He was amazing in bed - the best I've had - and I'll definitely always remember him.

It was kind of long distance and it was pre- social media. He disappeared from my life quite mysteriously - I suspect he went back to prison. Or possibly died. I could write a book. But it would be one of those very dirty ones 🙈

I'd read this book as long as you added some info on why he's the best you ever had 👀👀😄

OP posts:

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:21

Mooseylooseyloo · 12/09/2026 19:21

Yes, forever had police at my door, house being searched, having to go pick him up from police station. It wasnt a good life

How awful - whats life like now?

OP posts:

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:21

Xanhi · 12/09/2026 06:39

One of my close friends did for a couple of years. He used and abused her both sexually and emotionally. He had various girlfriends at the same time. It was very toxic. Neither of them were straightforward people but he was a lot worse than she was.

What a scummy man. Hope she got away and improved her life?

OP posts:

Mooseylooseyloo · 12/09/2026 19:21

Yes, forever had police at my door, house being searched, having to go pick him up from police station. It wasnt a good life

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:20

MrsShiplake · 12/09/2026 08:18

Yes, an OP who’s in put quite the groundwork over the last seven days. I smell a lazy journalist.

Edited

Show quote history

i'm not a journalist I promise, just nosy!

OP posts:

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Oh i dont think so at all! The women abusers prey on are usually survivors of some sort, individually vulnerable.

OP posts:

TurningPointe · 12/09/2026 19:18

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:07

Sobering, so sorry for your loss x

Fwiw - bad boys are not to be confused with woman abusers - who can be anyone in society, and are vile.

Show quote history

Well, to his group of friends and family, he was obviously wasn’t seen as more than a fun loving “bad boy”. It’s how abusers get away with it for so long when all the warning signs are there.

Do you think this was his first victim? Likely there were many more, starting years before with a fun loving “bad boy” attitude that was amusingly tolerated.

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:18

BlueFahrenheit · 12/09/2026 16:11

Had sex with yes, dated, no. They're usually great in bed ... be careful 😂

I've only ever dated rich men who have their lives together.

See after my d'alliance with a bad boy, I want a rich man

Great in bed, why not! Are the rich men also? 👀

OP posts:

MaggieMop · 12/09/2026 19:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:17

5289843DM · 12/09/2026 15:00

I didn't realise he was bad news when we dated, otherwise, I wouldn't have been dating him for 2yrs! The police raided the house at 5am when I was staying over 1 night and my boyfriend and his brother went to the cells. I had no idea what it was about. 'Apparently' they had threatened someone with a metal bar when selling a car went sour. I have no idea if that was the truth but I slowly distanced myself before breaking up. I've never had a 'bad boy' beforehand or since, it was a random, one off.

You got away and managed to tell the tale - what was it like being in a cell, were you scared?

Was his brother innocent as well?

OP posts:

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:15

KayFabe · 12/09/2026 14:30

I was addicted to drugs in my 20s and 30s, so came into contact with a lot of these types. Not the old school gentlemen types though, these men would beat a woman until she couldn't stand up. I was quite messed up in those days, and seemed to be drawn towards cruel men.

I hope youre doing better now and have realised your worth 💐

These men are scum. Just vile.

OP posts:

KimWexlersPonyTail · 12/09/2026 19:14

Took me and my friends to a nightclub on a stolen double decker bus. Then drove us back up the motorway pissed...terrifying

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:14

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 12/09/2026 14:24

I got a bunch of amazing gifts and holidays. He is in jail now. Funnily enough he was extremely sexually submissive and wanted to watch me have sex with other men which I found really gross. I think I got out of it alright though because I always refused to do anything that made me uncomfortable - sex wise and in terms of things like holding drugs for him. His other girlfriend wasn’t so lucky and I think she also got arrested when he went down.

Now this is interesting - i'd love the gifts but get the ick from someone so sexually submissive

You did the right thing though - that poor woman

OP posts:

MaggieMop · 12/09/2026 19:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

hotmumshit · 12/09/2026 19:12

nameobsessed · 12/09/2026 14:23

Kind of, his family reminded me of something out of a Martina Cole novel when I met them but he was always the more ‘wholesome’ one. Now he is very much a normal husband and father, and the family has mellowed out somewhat.

He was a bad boy in the fact that he did drugs, liked women and wasn’t exactly raised with ‘normal’ (MC) values but he is and was always kind, respectful of women, nurturing and incredibly clever. He had just been exposed to too much at an early age.

This is the kind of bad boy you marry isnt it, decent but has an edge

OP posts: