How much for wedding gift?

Oh I’m not sure - from experience if you’re close I’d usually say at least £100.

Obviously you don’t have to, but if they’re mid 40s and close it feels a bit low giving £25 per person.

Others will probably have a better idea! I have friends who’ve felt bad only giving £60 to friends but I’m not sure if that’s useful or not :D

Equally your presence should be enough, but the wedding meal itself would probs be at least £50+ per head x

I would say YABU, £50 is plenty. I strongly suspect I will be in the minority.

In these circumstances I have to admit I’d give them nothing. They’re saying they have everything they NEED, so instead they’re asking for what they WANT, which is for their friends to pay for them to go on holiday.

Fuck that.

(I may be slightly embittered by a recent request for cash in not dissimilar circs except a) they’d both been married before and b) I wasn’t actually invited to the wedding……)

If it’s a couple I am close too my standard is £250. Someone not as close, work colleague etc… £100. But this is what I can afford. I certainly wouldn’t put myself out financially.

I'd say at least £100 if there's 2 of you going.

£100 minimum

I would think £100 too

£50 for a wedding gift. But not for a couple who want me to pay for their honeymoon.

In that case I would give a small gift instead and no money. A pretty keepsake.

At least £100

Honestly if theres a meal etc, we'd usually do 100pp

Culturally the minimum we would give is £100 but increases on how close family wise you are to one of the wedding party.

At least £100pp more if it's a close friend or relative. ....but I'm Irish and we always seek to be the outliers on these threads

Minimum £200. £50 is beyond tight for an entire wedding day invitation .

People often say around the cost "per guest" is the norm, so probably about £50 each? If there's something on a registry about that amount, I'd go for it, but it depends on your financial situation, and if you're having to travel a long way, giving less is fine.

As you are financially stable and you have been friends for a long time, £100 pp

surely wedding presents have been about want, not need, for decades?
It's hardly as though people NEEDED (or even probably wanted!) 5 ugly vases and 3 identical clocks back before giving money became acceptable.

Besides which, if I'm going to someone's wedding I usually (gasp, horror) actually quite like them and therefore don't begrudge giving them something they would enjoy! It's really weird you're correlating your experience (which, in expecting money from someone who wasn't even a guest does smack of cheeky fuckery) with OP's, whose circumstances are very different as she and her friends seem to actually like each other.

By all means don't give more than you can afford, but I don't get this judginess about what people spend money on. A honeymoon is literally about celebrating their marriage, it seems like an ideal thing to put money towards to me. It's not like they're saying they'll spend it on a season ticket to the football or new designer handbag (although even then, tbh it's their choice!).

Anyway, rant over, I'd probably give £50 if I was going alone, so £100 if a couple. At bare minimum at least £70 and a bottle.

£50-£100 no more.

Fine if your weren’t invited to the wedding. But I can’t stand this sanctimonious attitude some people (you!) take to second marriages. I don’t think I know a single person who has come out of divorce in a financially good position. And certainly not widows/ers.

Divorce happens for a myriad of reasons and can often not be because anyone is particularly to blame.

It feels particularly mean spirited to refuse to give money at a wedding because you don’t think people getting married for a second time deserve a gift. That, essentially, you’ll go to their wedding but make it clear you don’t approve by withholding a gift.

And clearly you also don’t think people who have lived together for a while, or might be slightly older (and on their first marriages) deserve anything either. A wedding is a celebration and part of that is giving something to the bride and groom (who are, after all paying for everyone’s food and such). Absolutely, it’s lovely if a couple say, ‘your company is present enough’. But it’s rather mean to impose that upon them.

£100 at least. We used to give £60 25 years ago. To me, £50 is stingy, unless you are really struggling for money.

OP if you and DH are is real disagreement, you could always do what a dear family friend (my father’s best friend from school) did. He called us over quietly at one point during the night and slipped something to us saying that, ‘my wife and I have already given you something small, but I just wanted to top that up a bit. Please get a meal out on me during the honeymoon, as you both mean the world to me!’
We hadn’t needed or asked for anything and would have been very touched by what they’d originally given, but it was very lovely of him that he wanted to do that.

Ultimately give what you can afford.

But £50 as a day guest from a couple is a bit low IMO.

I’m absolutely not making a judgment on second marriages - been to loads of second time round weddings and have given gifts.

What I object to is a cash grab from a couple with their own money and/or the expectation that you somehow “owe” the couple a few quid because they invited you. If my invitation was conditional on me ponying up, then I’d rather not be invited, thanks.

Oh and interesting use of “deserve” gifts. I don’t give gifts on the basis of whether or not people “deserve” them. I give them if I want to.