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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel this mum should take her turn?

188 replies

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 15:51

Daughter is in year 6 and has a friend who she often goes to the park with after school, me and her mum have generally taken it in turns to take both girls.

However this year her daughter is allowed to walk home from school as they only live a few minutes walk and the park is on the way, her daughter has a phone.

I do not live near the school and it’s too far from my house to let her walk so I have to get a bus to collect my daughter and then she often wants to go to the park with this friend, so because she walks home she will text her mum and her mum will say yes she can and I end up having to take them and stand around while they play while her mum always stays at home instead of taking it in turns and I can pick her up later? s

OP posts:
SpiderJelly · 11/09/2026 16:18

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:18

Not here, they have to have a permission slip.

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Then give a permission slip?

Backpain2026 · 11/09/2026 16:18

You need to tell the school she is allowed to walk home by herself.

Then let her go to the park with a friend.

And either meet her later and go home on the bus together.

Or let her get a bus home.

The other parent is happy for her child to go to the park unsupervised, so of course she isn't going to go and supervise

SpiderJelly · 11/09/2026 16:18

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Ah yes, I missed that 😂

Original poster
hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:18

SpiderJelly · 11/09/2026 16:16

In year 6? That’s unusual. I’ve never known a school not allow year 6s to not be able to leave alone. It’s good practice for secondary school.

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Not here, they have to have a permission slip.

OP posts:
Relaxemente · 11/09/2026 16:18

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WerewolfOfLoudon · 11/09/2026 16:17

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:09

The children arrange this at school so I am already at the gate before they come out and ask, we live the other side of the city.

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Say no every time it isn't prearranged and agreed. They will soon learn if they want to go to the park they must arrange it first not just when they feel like it.

You could even check the weather for the following day at the gates, and if it unexpectedly pours with rain then you go collect your child as normal because their plans will have to be postponed.

Or get your child a brick phone too.

ETA after update on school, why won't they let her leave? Working parents wouldn't be able to be at the school gate for year 6 and they would be getting a bus themselves at that age.

SpiderJelly · 11/09/2026 16:16

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:15

Yes that would be easier but because my daughter doesn’t walk home from school on her own the school won’t let her leave without me being at the gate.

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In year 6? That’s unusual. I’ve never known a school not allow year 6s to not be able to leave alone. It’s good practice for secondary school.

Relaxemente · 11/09/2026 16:15

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Original poster
hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:15

Doctordoolittle · 11/09/2026 16:11

You can pre arrange it with your daughter that she goes to the park with her friend, and then you pick your daughter up later?

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Yes that would be easier but because my daughter doesn’t walk home from school on her own the school won’t let her leave without me being at the gate.

OP posts:
Sartre · 11/09/2026 16:13

How far on the bus? Could your DD start getting the bus alone now? Good preparation for secondary school next year really.

Ponderingwindow · 11/09/2026 16:12

You seem to be missing the part where the mother is fine with the child walking home by herself. Park stop or no, she doesn’t require supervision for this block of time.

SpiderJelly · 11/09/2026 16:12

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:09

The children arrange this at school so I am already at the gate before they come out and ask, we live the other side of the city.

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Then arrange it in advance and then you can pick up from the park later? I can’t see any reason why the mum needs to come out and supervise at the park when she’s happy for her child to be there unsupervised.

Doctordoolittle · 11/09/2026 16:11

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:05

I am probably being unreasonable but it would be nice if she would occasionally do it if it was pre arranged so I could come and collect her a bit later.
I think I would have done if it was the other way around.

You can pre arrange it with your daughter that she goes to the park with her friend, and then you pick your daughter up later?

Relaxemente · 11/09/2026 16:09

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Original poster
hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:09

CarotidFartery · 11/09/2026 16:04

The mum is happy for her daughter to play unsupervised - she isn't asking you to supervise them.

You could agree to pick your daughter up later? Or say no to her going to the park?

The children arrange this at school so I am already at the gate before they come out and ask, we live the other side of the city.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 11/09/2026 16:09

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:05

I am probably being unreasonable but it would be nice if she would occasionally do it if it was pre arranged so I could come and collect her a bit later.
I think I would have done if it was the other way around.

I don’t get your thinking at all op.

she has made the decision her child no longer needs supervision

you have made the decision your child still does. That’s up to you.

you don’t get to request that she supervises your child when hers no longer needs it!

Mnetcurious · 11/09/2026 16:09

Daughter: mum please can we go to the park

You: no, not today

Sorted.

mrsm43s · 11/09/2026 16:08

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:05

I am probably being unreasonable but it would be nice if she would occasionally do it if it was pre arranged so I could come and collect her a bit later.
I think I would have done if it was the other way around.

Why is it her job to supervise your daughter, even occasionally? Her daughter doesn't need supervision. She's done with supervising at the park, that chapter of her life has closed. If your daughter needs supervision, then it's up to you to do that.

Schoolchoicesucks · 11/09/2026 16:07

Is the mum only saying yes to the park because she knows there is an adult (you) supervising? Or because she's happy for her Y6 child to go to the local park after school with her friend unaccompanied? If it's the 2nd then of couse she doesn't need to "take a turn".
If you are happy for your DD to go to the park after school, then you need to pre-arrange it and go amd collect her half an hour after school finish time (for example) and if she asks on other days and you aren't happy to hang around, the answer is "no".
None of this needs to involve the other mum taking a turn to supervise your daughter.

Relaxemente · 11/09/2026 16:06

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SpiderJelly · 11/09/2026 16:06

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:05

I am probably being unreasonable but it would be nice if she would occasionally do it if it was pre arranged so I could come and collect her a bit later.
I think I would have done if it was the other way around.

Then pre arrange for your daughter and her friend to go to the park and you can pick your daughter up from the park a bit later? It saves you hanging around while they play.

EverytimeItPours · 11/09/2026 16:06

Sorry Yabu, you’re the only one who wants them supervised so it’s on you to do it

SpiderJelly · 11/09/2026 16:05

Why would the other mum go to the park when she’s happy for her daughter to go to the park alone?
Cant you let your daughter go to the park after school with her friend for an hour and you pick up from the park? Why does the other mum have to be there while they’re playing?

Original poster
hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:05

I am probably being unreasonable but it would be nice if she would occasionally do it if it was pre arranged so I could come and collect her a bit later.
I think I would have done if it was the other way around.

OP posts:
CarotidFartery · 11/09/2026 16:04

The mum is happy for her daughter to play unsupervised - she isn't asking you to supervise them.

You could agree to pick your daughter up later? Or say no to her going to the park?