To feel this mum should take her turn?

Your problem makes no sense. Even if the mum wanted to help, she couldn't. If the girls only decide moments before going to the park, how could the other mum arrange with you that you can stay home and she will take a shift? You would already be there anyway. Equally the mum can't say "I'll watch them on Wednesday" because what if it starts to rain on Wednesday at 3.15 and nobody wants to go to the park? Should she ring you to say its cancelled and you charge across town while your daughter waits on the pavement for half an hour? Or are you also expecting the mum to host your daughter in the event of rain? That would mean she has to make sure the house is tidy and have snacks in. That's quite a lot to expect of someone who gets nothing from you except supervising her daughter at the park when she doesn't need or want it.

In fact, this issue has nothing to do with the other mum. Whether they go to the park or not, she would stay at home. The only reason she would have to leave her house is to collect your daughter from school, which really isn't her problem.

Can you get your daughter a permission slip to leave school without you and if you're there, good and if you're not, that's also fine.

You'll need to get her a phone sooner or later anyway, so you may as well get one now. The only problem is that she'll probably text you 2 minutes before she goes to the park, in which case, you'll be there anyway! But again, that's nothing to do with the other mum.

Is costing you a lot in time and money to pick her up. You make the journey to school 4 times a day. Maybe take her in the mornings but say to her that she can make her own way home. She'll know what to do as she's done it many times before. If she has a phone, she can update you on where she is and if you get something like Family Link, you can see where she is at all times anyway. She might really enjoy being 'grown up'.

Whatever you decide, none of this has anything to do with the other mum. It's unreasonable to expect her to stop whatever she's doing so she can watch your daughter in the park, and it is only your daughter, as her daughter doesn't need anything.

I'm not sure what you are expecting the other mum to do if you are at the school gate every day anyway and these park trips aren't being arranged in advance. How would her being there help?

You have a few options:

1. Tell your daughter she can't go to the park.
2. Tell her she can only go to the park if it's arranged in advance (tricky as plans could change and she's got no way to let you know).
3. Give her a way to contact you (phone or smart watch) and allow her to make her own way home.
4. Carry on as you are and accept that parenting does involve a fair amount of standing around in parks.

Take a book. Bliss!

Op you are so entitled.
why do you think this mum has any reason to do this FOR YOU??
she has worked out a solution that benefits her child and herself.can’t imagine why on earth she would make her life difficult to please you.
say no to your dd. She’s the one creating this issue.

Yeah sorry OP, I think you're being unreasonable. They live closer and the kid has a phone to communicate with her mother. They're just better set up for the park than you are and that really isn't the other mums problem.
I think you need to explain to your daughter why this current set up no longer works and that she needs to arrange her park dates in advance. If they want to play on a Friday, she needs to let you know on a Thursday for example.
Alternatively, would you consider getting her a very basic phone so that you can have a bit more flexibility in your communication with each other? Totally your call but it might help.

This isn’t an arrangement made between you both that requires to her take her turn. It really has nothing to do with her at all.

She’s happy for her daughter to walk home alone and play unsupervised at the park, so why would she go there solely to supervise your child?

Must cost you a bit to do 4 Journeys a day via bus

maybe time for dd to get a little independence and get bus to or from school by self

not every day but see how she goes and if ok then she can do this

I would get a phone so she can call you if need be

And what would you say, that you begrudge having to supervise your child so you’d like the mum to come out too?

I’m such an idiot, I read this as 6yo, not yr 6 😂

At yr 6 I would sign the permission slip and allow your DD to go the park with her mate and meet them there to bring her home.

Then sort a permission slip? Permission for her to leave on her own and meet you at the park (or another specified location).

Clearly they can leave alone if the other girl is, so I think you should get your daughter a phone (and fgs learn to drive!)

Could she catch the bus herself? My Year 6 DD does

Fill in the consent form so that she does it have to wait for you to be there whether you have come to pick up or not.
Make it clear that plans need to be arranged in advance and If not planned a park trip then you go to get her and head home. If one is planned and plans have to change, can't she walk back to herel friends house and you collect here from there? (Friend or friends mum and let you know if you don't want your DD to have a phone.)

It's not the other mum's fault you live further from the park than they do. Get your DD a phone just for calls and texts doesn't have to be a smartphone if you're so bothered. She can contact you if they decide to go and agree on a time to collect her so you have no waiting around.

I’m sorry, I’m baffled by this.

Your year 6 daughter is not in charge of your life.

So if you don’t want to supervise her at the park (whether or not her friend will be there) you just say “no, not today” and head straight home.

Maybe explain to her in advance that she can’t just make social plans and announce them to you at the end of the school day anymore!

But the other mum is not doing anything wrong here. What you’re really asking her to do is to come out just to look after your daughter at the park as a favour to you. You can ask her, but she’s not obligated to provide you with childcare. It’s important to remember that you are not providing her with childcare, she’s happy for her daughter to walk around and go to the park by herself.

"No love, not today"

That's all you need to say to your child on the days you don't fancy taking her to the park 🤷‍♂️

It has nothing to do with the other mum.

How far is the park from school?

Could she go to the park and you meet her there or walk her to the park and then let her walk home?

If you are already there at pick up what do you expect the other mum to do? Surely you wouldn’t travel home then come back to collect her when they have finished playing?

Surely it’s nice for your DD to have a friend there to play with.

If you don’t want to go on certain days, just say no because you need to get home for x,y,z

I imagine that if you explain it to them they will, they're probably just not letting her go because they know you're coming. If you said she was going with her friend to play after school and she was allowed to walk with her, they surely would let her go.

Why can't she catch the bus for 20 minutes? She has a phone and can contact you.

Sorry but it's not up to this other mum to supervise or pick up your daughter. She is allowing her daughter to do things on her own, so it is entirely your responsibility to take care of yours.

Can she not go to the park with her friend straight from school, and you collect her later? You say the children arrange it at school and you don't find out until you're at the gate - well guess what, if it's not possible, you say no!

I think it’s fine to have a friendly chat with the Mum about this.

But I also think you can say no to your dd, or that park trips have to be prearranged so you know not to come out for her until later.