To feel this mum should take her turn?

So say no, it doesn’t suit you?

I agree with previous posters. The other mum had now graduated to a place where she can allow her child a little independence to walk hone from school and play in the park. She should not have to regress tin order o supervise another person's child. If you are going to helicopter your daughter don't seek to involve the other mum. At age 11 I was travelling alone across LIverpool to see my grandmother - a 30 minute bus journey. No phones then.

The other mother is clearly getting her dd ready first secondary school. I’d be annoyed that you were supervising her at the park if she was my dd.

Your bigger issue is really that you’re out of catchment so your child’s friend is probably doing what is typical for her local peers and you are much further away. Your distance isn’t really her problem. She’s happy for the friend to walk home and go to the park on route. If that isn’t practical for you, you either have to say no or send in a permission slip that your child can leave independently on x days and you collect in the park.

I have kids of around this age, have their friends over often, and have never once experienced a visit from another child that didn’t require me to do anything!

I think its time maybe you stopped letting your daughter decide on a whim that ye are going to the park. How could you ever go later if this all gets arranged during school and you're just told about it when you get to the school?

Could you maybe ask the other girls mum if it's OK 1 day a week for both your DDs to go to the park after school then walk back to her house and you pick her up from there at an agreed time? Then 1 other day you could go and supervise them?

Agree with PPs about this, but just wanted to add that this will be a non issue by next July regardless, and they won't be going to the park regularly in the dark, wet, winter months either. So it's not a situation that's got longevity anyway.

It would be on the same basis as "playing out " children popping in. The children amuse themselves, no onus on the parent to do anything.

This does make most sense - just agree that Tuesday and Thursday (or whatever) are park days or OP's DC can go back to the other parent's house. i expect park days will get knocked on the head by half term at latest anyway due to the dark/bad weather, and then hopefully by the time they come round again in the summer OP's DC can just get the bus on their own. so it's not really a huge deal.

Well hopefully the reason she doesn’t do that is because she’s not an enormous CF who assumes another parent will happily look after her child every single day?

The other mum lives close to school and doesn't need to do anything. Its not her fault you live somewhere else. You don't have to let your daughter go to the park. I'm not sure I understand what you have in mind? Surely your child has to be brought home from school by you every day? Are you suggesting someone who lives near school should take your child all the way to your house becase she wanted to hang around in a park near school with her child? I think in your shoes I'd say something like Fridays only, and as long as its not raining!

The other mum is inconvenienced by having another child in the house every day after school.

Erm, the other girl's mum might not want OP's daughter round or her daughter at the park every single schoolday. That's a massive imposition.

Why don't you give a permission slip for your daughter to leave unaccompanied and for her to go to her friend's house each day where you will pick her up at a specified time. They can either spend time at the park or at the friend's home while waiting for you to pick up your DD. That way, the other mum is not inconvenienced and neither are you.

If you're happy prearrange it for the other mum to supervise, why can't you prearrange days the girls will go to the park on their own? You could then collect DD from the park.

Perhaps you could start letting DD leave school on her own and meet you part of the way, so that she gets used to it ready for year 7. We didn't live near my sons primary school either, but he wanted to feel a bit more independent like his friends. So I gave him permission to leave school alone, and I would meet him down the road, each term the distance that he walked alone got further and further. We then progressed to him getting a bus and I would get on a few stops along the route.

Yes this. You have said you can't collect from the park later as you don't know of park plans til you arrive at school. So how did it work before? Surely you and the other mum would have both turned up at the school gates and then heard of the park plan, what did you do then?

Also you say you always stop for food and drink. Well stop that then if you aren't happy with that. Or hand it over to your DD as pocket money and say that if she buys a snack for herself and friend that's her money gone. Though as the friend sounds quite independent they are likely to have a bank card or money so they could fund their own snacks.

Just to add, I am sympathetic to you, but you do need to be careful here. DD had a friend whose mum was less comfortable with walking and who also didn't allow her child to have a phone and i had to intervene eventually when I discovered that DD was being pressured to walk with the friend AND call the mum to tell her when they were en route.

Either youare confident that youdd can be out and about alone and have the right things in place otherwise support that, or you aren't. it's not on other families to accomodate your concerns.

OP, as otehrs have said, the issue is that you have different boundaries for your respective daughters.

My advice would be that you tell DD to start planning in advance. I'd also get her a basic phone - it's perfectly reasonable for that in Year 6. Or, if she does want to do spontaneous, then take your book and sit in a cafe or in the park while her and her friend play.

It’s your problem to solve unfortunately, but I don’t understand how the other mum ‘taking her turn’ would help in any way! You say the girls agree this whilst at school, so you’re stood at the gates and have made the journey to school regardless? So how do you expect her to help?

Why do they both need supervising? I think YABU. Either tell your daughter no or go later to the park to pick up your daughter so you don’t need to hang around. It isn’t the other mums fault you live too far away for your DD to go to school on her own although if she is year 6 maybe it is time to start looking at that or presumably you don’t drive so could drop her off and come back. Alternatively just agree one day a week and take a book to the park. I kind of feel at 10/11 you need to start giving your DD some independence though.

why does anyone have to stay and watch them?

You can tell your DD that if she doesn't arrange it the day before, she can't on the day. She really should have a phone at her age anyway.

There's no way any of the local mums around me with who would suddenly go and babysit the children once they are allowed to walk to and back from school independently. Once we stop the school run, it's not to restart because another parent is less confident, or is living too far.

but you said they only plan it during the day so you were already there... For you to not already be at the gates and just come later it would need to be arranged in advance, giving you time to sign the permission slip so she can walk to the park with her friend.

You can't expect someone to come out especially to supervise your daughter when their own is allowed out alone. Either you supervise, you don't let your daughter go, or you say she must pre arrange it and sign the slip. Plenty of options.

Your dd is sling last minute plus at school. So you need to talk to your dd. Its entirely up to you to stay at the park or just say no we are going home

Just tell the school she's walking that day so they let her go and pick her up later. Just pre-arrange if she wants to go the park. It's such a non-issue.

So fill in a permission slip? But stress to your DD that she may only leave on days that you have prearranged for her to go to the park.