To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

If he is not learning anything, and is desperately unhappy why would you do this to him? He will throw this back at you when he is older.
The obvious thing would be to homeschool.
It would be easy because you would only have one child to deal with, not 30.

The obvious thing would be to homeschool.

It wouldn’t be ‘the obvious thing’ for anyone who understood how the SEN system works.

My point is that it’s a long process that the OP hasn’t begun yet. It’s not about availability (at least not at this stage), as the OP hasn’t accepted that a special education setting is needed.

But as you know the system isn’t working.

EHE wouldn’t suddenly make the system work better for the child, though. Quite the opposite.

Home schooling means the LA doesn't have to provide any education. There IS a solution for this child somewhere, only the LA has to sort it out. It could be that the school needs more TA hours, more TA training, or the boy needs a different sort of provision, like in a unit. No parent in the UK is expected to have to home school a child.

We advertised for 4 TA posts. We didn’t get a single application….

That is why it is important for the 1:1 to be detailed, specified and quantified in F of the EHCP. Then the LA has a duty to ensure it is provided and it can be enforced. When faced with enforcement action, LAs can pull their finger out and fund at a higher level, potentially a much higher level (e.g. one child I know had their TA in school funded at the level of the teaching MPS because that is what it took to fulfil their duty), and that attracts more candidates. Talking generally rather than about the OP’s case specifically, they can also fund a higher staffing ratio, again attracting applicants who may accept the role 2:1 but not 1:1. The LA can recruit directly, which for some schools attracts more applicants.

Then the LA needs to fund a specialist place. It is the LA's responsibility to provide the education in the ehc, not the school's.

Addressing only the adults part, how many adults would it take to bring your child under control? And how many would you expect to be available to him and him only? Schools are massively underfunded and adults in rooms very low. In my class I have 7 children with SEN, one with an ECHP, a third very below in their learning. I have one TA in the morning but in the afternoon she is doing interventions. So it’s just me.

We just don’t have the money or adults available to have one or more adults free to deal with a child regularly getting violent. Where do you think these adults are coming from OP?

What about if you need to work??

If your son needs specialist help then that is what he needs. Mainstream school isn't set up for that. You may like the idea of both your sons going to the same school and you may not like the idea of labels. But if it's not working then you need to change your attitude. It isn't fair on anybody and it isn't the school's fault. Your son may do much better in other provision and be able to attend mainstream school later on. It is worth a try at the very least, look for the best you can find available.

This whole thread is so worrying for the average person who wants a decent education for their regular children. I’m glad this isn’t the norm for most people

I so agree. Unfortunately people don’t seem to realise that unless the school caters solely for children with special needs, they can’t deal with individual problems at the expense of the majority of children. It’s awful that your DS is obviously worried about this. And why should he have to think that someone else’s child should be put before him? I’m a grandma but this problem never existed during my schooldays or my son’s so I wonder why this is on the increase now.

This is do sad. Had. Friend a a teacher and thr school had funding for a specialist 1to1 he should have that and on a waiting list for a specialist school. I suggest writing to governor head and your mp. And don’t answer the phone as leadt not stsright away. The school trying to put there issues in to ypu as currently the easiest option. I see both sides but it isnt fair

And if the teacher refuses to teach him?

I think all of those who believe the OP is unreasonable to want her child to have an education need to get writing to their MP's and lobbying like fury, because this government plans to move children of the sort you don't want around your children into mainstream schools and cut down on special schools.

Did you know, by the way, that all a child with an EHCP is entitled to is an adequate education? Imagine how you'd feel if that was all your child could have and you'd have to fight for that?

So, seriously, if you want children who can't handle mainstream school to have a place where they can learn and thrive, then you need to get writing. If you don't, then they'll be in your child's class, and taught by people who didn't come into education to teach children like 'that.' I do wonder what sort of children they think they should teach but with any luck your children won't find themselves in that category because of a personality clash.

Are you saying parents of irregular children don't want a decent education for their children? You know, for them to be in school. After all, every day matters, doesn't it? That's why we have strict attendance policies, unless the school say they can't cope and can't follow statutory guidance or the law or call a meeting. The Equality Act 2010 says there is an anticipatory duty on public bodies to think ahead and make appropriate adjustments. I must have missed the point where it said 'send them home illegally and dehumanise them.'

Speaking as someone who is not average, and does not have regular children I think you're in for a shock when you see the SEND reforms. It will be the norm very soon, and then maybe someone will confront you about your prejudices.

I think OP is more open to it now but still, it's the start of a new school year with a new teacher which can be difficult for some SEND children anyway. I can see why OP isn't immediately jumping to he needs a specialist school when it is possible with an emergency EHCP review he may able to get more support to stay in mainstream because LA's don't just accept the schools word for it anyway, they will want the school to show that they have tried everything in their power first to keep him in mainstream.

If that doesn't work or the school does show that they have done everything reasonably possible then that is only when the LA may consider specialist school.

If OP willingly takes him out of school to homeschool then the LA will wash their hands of her son as they will then have no legal responsibility to find an alternative option.

It is the worst thing she could do if her son needs a specialist school. He will need to stay in mainstream until the LA finds a new appropriate setting for him if that's the way it's going to go.

My daughter has adhd and finding her the right supports so she can settle in school was very hard and included changing home and area . Some parents are like you and think it’s ok to just leave it to the school but personally I could never leave my child so disregulated , think about it from your sons perspective , if he is having constant meltdowns he is feeling awful . Why would you choose to do that ? Plus why would you leave other children constantly being affected by it ?
my child thankfully is much better now but I’m not sure how she I’ll be in secondary so I’m preparing for the possibility of home education, she is very academic and I would never make her struggle simply because I think it’s the school responsibility. You need to accept your son needs more help and that possibly means changing schools or a lot more support

That’s the perspective of someone not being upping to actually put themselves in that child’s shoes ! That can take years and you will be constantly traumatising a child

If they have a mortgage to pay what choice do they have? You always just give up the job to home school.

Not everyone is able to homeschool for a start and it isn't right for every child either. My disabled son had a stint at home, he was miserable and wanted to be back in school.

My kid is social even if he is in his own world. He needs children around him.