AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

Dogs can only be left for a max of 4 hours. And the smell will depend on the dogs and how small the house is. OP has said MziL and BIL have large houses

They can absolutely left for longer than this particularly as a one off. Dog owners can pop back and let out for wee etc if they are worried.

Bringing pets should be a 100% yes situation otherwise they don’t come. If someone is not comfortable the polite thing to do is not to bring it, not to make that person feel unable to attend.

Absolutely not. I love dogs and have dogs but that many untrained dogs in a confined space, plus children is a recipe for disaster.

Obviously I get that they can't be left all day and they can't get a dog sitter over Christmas day and boxing day but I'd rather just not go, and see them in between Christmas and New year for lunch out or something.

How far away do you live from each other? Could someone go and let the dogs out half way thro8gh the day if needed?

It's a shame the dogs aren't well trained enough to be left alone for the day.

I love dogs and everyone in my family has a dog but they are trained to within an inch of their lives and are able to spend a whole day alone if needed incase of emergencies.

YANBU to not want to be around badly trained dogs

But that's not what the OP says. It simply says that they have declined the invitation. As they did the same last year, it can hardly have come as a surprise. She isnt trying to control the situation at all, it's the MIL who is doing that by trying to insist that everyone is in certain places at certain times.

The simple fact is, if the MIL and other members of the family won't go.anywhere without their dogs, then they aren't going to see their GCs at Christmas. OP's stance on this is perfectly reasonable.

Agree - and it is their choice not to see the OP and family not the other way around because they are the ones who are being inappropriate and strange.

I couldn’t imagine one dog visiting my house, never mind 10. What about a family walk that is dog friendly? Somewhere with outdoor seating or all take a hot drink and some cakes.

But pets have needs and they can’t be left alone lone for more than 4 hours.

I agree, but they can be left for 4 hours.

@Xmasinkennels I wouldn't worry about offending the dog owners. It would just be a non negotiable no from me. I would invite family around without dogs for 2 or 3 hours and if they feel they can't even leave them for that long they can stay at home.

Anyone wanting to visit with a dog can fuck right off, family or otherwise. Dogs I can take or leave, would rather leave, it's some of the stupid owners with the 'it's my baby' mentality that are the worst.
"It's friendly?" well I'm not, so take your dog and fuck off. Some random woman burst into tears the other day when I said that. Her dog tried to jump up. I shrugged and laughed at her, the stupid cow. Why would I care ?

How do people cope when they have to go to work all day? Pop back in the lunch hour? Sheesh.

Same. You are not remotely unreasonable OP. And they could leave their pets for a few hours, but it will depend where you all live in relation to each other.

They use doggy day care or leave them outside all day to bark and annoy the neighbours. Potentially a combination of both.

Ha ha. I had the woman who said her dog thought I was a squirrel...that makes it all ok apparently.

I can just about tolerate one dog and only then for short periods and my DD dog is a poodle cross so no hair gets shed but it does create dander……and all dogs smell!
Your not being unreasonable in resisting MIL plans, I’d be doing the same in your position OP.

*You’re!!!

I'm another dog-owner/dog-lover who thinks 10 untrained dogs together sounds like hell. Do you visit any of them individually at other times or have them visit you? And, if so, what happens to the dogs then?

Sounds dire. I would offer another alternative since they’ve declined a visit to yours: a meet up for a festive drink or meal somewhere. If this is declined then say ‘oh what a shame, we might have a catch up some time in the new year then, enjoy Christmas with the dogs.’

Where could you meet that doesn’t now welcome dogs?

Agree. All those dog!! You are the hardworking host and it’s your home. Can’t imagine a Christmas meal with them all around. Say the invite stands if they can accommodate the dogs for that time. I love dogs but not in that number in my home.

Since the relatives know they aren’t having house visits due to the dogs as the OP and her DH don’t like them, surely they wouldn’t bring the dogs. To bring them would defeat the object, which is to avoid them.

Yeuch the horrible yorkies would be a hard no from me, never mind all the others!

A bit off topic but I can't understand why people get dogs and the don't train them. Im getting a dif when we move and I've researched dog trainers nearby .

I am a massive dog lover but I never took my dogs to my SIL’s house for Xmas because there were several other dogs there. My dogs were stressed by it all too on the occasion we took them. Later on we used the animals as an excuse for not going for more than a quick coffee in the morning. They all love a loud boozy Christmas, we prefer a chilled one.

God no. My idea of Christmas hell would be having to spend it with other peoples dogs