Page 3 | Why are my children always the ones crying and miserable at birthday parties?

Coldcoffeekindamorning · 2026-09-06T17:31:31+00:00

Honestly, what am I doing wrong? Always the ones crying and screaming when we leave. I give them count downs etc, I try to be patient and calm but they are always crying when it's time to go home and I honestly can't take it anymore. My 7 year old has always been like this, it just honestly has ground me down so much over the years. I dread going to them. What am I actually doing wrong because all the other kids seem to handle it fine? I know that the other kids have their off days but mine seem to have an off day every single bloody party.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · Yesterday 19:03

I have three kids, one ND. He’s normally fine but his NT sister does this, honestly she’s just kind of whiney at times. Growing out of it now but I think it’s just some kids disposition. I am 1/6 children and my sister and oldest brother were whiney kids. Neither ND, brother is totally normal now and sister is just mildly irritating (but I probably just think that because we’re sisters).

101Alsatians · Yesterday 18:52

Besidemyselfwithworry · Yesterday 18:36

I have 3 kids none of them have ever done this so as people have suggested, could they be ND and just find it all a little overwhelming?? Or buddy up with someone and leave together so “everyone” is leaving at the same time x

The buddying up is a really good idea - could this work OP?

Mine cope well with leaving,usually cos hot and knackered anyway,but eldest who is ND has never handled the Happy Birthday song element.Better now,but its Stevie Wonder's version all the way in this house.

beaglescurleduplikebagels · Yesterday 18:51

DooDallyHallie · Yesterday 18:49

I doubt ND woukd only manifest itself at the end of parties.

Probably not, but it can be a lot more obvious in those situations, especially when you're around other children who aren't behaving that way.

DooDallyHallie · Yesterday 18:49

I doubt ND woukd only manifest itself at the end of parties.

ToddlerTime45532 · Yesterday 18:44

Are you trying to leave before the end of the party?

GingerdeadMan · Yesterday 18:44

ElephantHabits · Yesterday 18:37

I mean it might not necessarily be that they are neuro divergent, my kid has autism among other issues like GDD and loves being out and enjoys the few parties she goes to but is also fine when it's time to leave but she's also more into running around with another parent than the kids. Some kids just have so much fun and don't want to leave, could maybe try hanging around until they see others going if you're quite quick to leave once the party is over, maybe them seeing others go means they aren't going to worry they will miss out?

Or maybe try collecting him a bit earlier before he gets tired and overwhelmed?

Either is worth a try.

Adults are like kids - not all love parties or find them easy to navigate.

NewLifter · Yesterday 18:43

This also resonates with me and my ND kiddo

They can struggle with transition

You're doing nothing wrong and no one will think that you are, I promise

GingerdeadMan · Yesterday 18:42

My son used to be a nightmare for leaving anywhere fun (didn't cry but got increasingly hyper, running off etc).

It helped to show photos of where we were going / what we were doing next, along with the count down and setting expectations. I had a photo of our house on my phone for this. I also bribed him with an episode of a favourite tv programme (one that i kept for 'treats' only).

UpAhead · Yesterday 18:38

DontBuyAnotherBook · Yesterday 18:34

I think they might be ND.

Really or are you saying that ‘tongue in cheek’ because you expect it to be trotted out repeatedly?

earshadow · Yesterday 18:38

Does the party bag (i.e. End of party, time to go) not help? X

Whaaaatszuuup · Yesterday 18:38

MidnightPatrol · Yesterday 18:34

What happens when you leave some other activity they are enjoying eg soft play, swimming etc?

Yes, that’s what I was going to say.

When you say you give them count downs, what do you say? I’d say ‘ there is ten more minutes until Rory’s party is finished. Then when we get home we are going to play with your lego’ (insert fun but not too fun activity).

ElephantHabits · Yesterday 18:37

I mean it might not necessarily be that they are neuro divergent, my kid has autism among other issues like GDD and loves being out and enjoys the few parties she goes to but is also fine when it's time to leave but she's also more into running around with another parent than the kids. Some kids just have so much fun and don't want to leave, could maybe try hanging around until they see others going if you're quite quick to leave once the party is over, maybe them seeing others go means they aren't going to worry they will miss out?

AnnesPuffedSleeves · Yesterday 18:36

Mine was always like this and I hated class parties. At 9, it’s now much easier. No neurodivergence.

Besidemyselfwithworry · Yesterday 18:36

I have 3 kids none of them have ever done this so as people have suggested, could they be ND and just find it all a little overwhelming?? Or buddy up with someone and leave together so “everyone” is leaving at the same time x

PrincessSassy · Yesterday 18:36

One of mine especially just found parties overwhelming, he loved them and wanted to go but they were just too much for him. I was so glad when we grew out of parties like soft play etc

Littlejellyuk · Yesterday 18:34

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · Yesterday 18:32

Neurodivergent and overstimulated/exhausted.

This ☝️ 💯 😔
My DS gets FOMO and hates it when the party ends.
You have my sympathy OP @Coldcoffeekindamorning

fuckeditupbadly · Yesterday 18:34

Do they react particularly badly to sugar?

MidnightPatrol · Yesterday 18:34

What happens when you leave some other activity they are enjoying eg soft play, swimming etc?

DontBuyAnotherBook · Yesterday 18:34

I think they might be ND.

Needmorelego · Yesterday 18:33

Are you leaving before the party ends?

Batties · Yesterday 18:33

They’re just overstimulated. I doubt it’s anything you’ve done wrong.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · Yesterday 18:32

Neurodivergent and overstimulated/exhausted.