AIBU to worry my son is too young to marry?

That’s interesting, didn’t realise it was as low as that for under 25s.

They have been together for 10 years!
And been to university and so on in that time.

It may all end in flames, but that can happen at any age.
How long do they need to be together before you think it'll be ok?

This information would make me more concerned still. Without a probation year she is not a fully qualified teacher, only provisionally registered, which impacts her earning potential. Were they discussing marriage before he was given this money?

You've given him the money. Whoever he marries will be entitled to at least 50%, probably more should they divorce with children.

It's possibly better that he marries someone he knows well rather than someone he's dated for 12 months

Nowadays 24 is young to get married.

Maybe they want children?

Then as a mum shes done all she can do, and its down to her son to make his own choices

When he gets to 35 and realises on the life hes missed out on, he will have been told.

If she has, I’m almost impressed with her! 😁

To go and travel and enjoy life and find out who he is

yeah it’s difficult to think of your hard earned money given to your son being split with an ex wife. I do understand the feelings of OP but there’s not much she can do really is there? Without causing hurt and ill feeling.

Marriage doesn’t mean they can’t swing, have threesomes, do lines and get wasted. They also now have more money for all those things plus the security of not being homeless and reassurance of always having the other one around on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
In fact, sounds less dull than not being married.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_matures_at_25_myth

Brains change throughout our lives they are finding that now at every greater ages last study was talking about 30 + and pg women what ever age they are menas brian is re-orgainised massively.

Op DS will be 25 at proposed time of marriage and research into marriage age shows a sharp decline in divorce risk as people move past age 20 into their mid-twenties. Delaying marriage from age 20 to 25 cuts the statistical risk of divorce. Data analyses such as studies from demographic researchers often point to the late twenties roughly 28 + as carrying some of the lowest baseline risks for first-time marriages and they are not that far off that.

I think if you say anything - well I suspect it won't go down well and may be remembered for years. I get the concern as it seems young compared to peers but he has a job and is better off than most - so what does waiting get them. Do they want to see the world ? If they do marriage likely won't stop that and if they're not bothered or proitising other things - well they are adults and can do that.

yeah people change so much in their 20s, some grow up some don’t! I don’t know anyone in my friendship group who is still with the same partner from their late teens/early 20s.

but I agree there’s not much OP can do about it.

I find it an incredibly young age to marry (especially nowadays) but it seems to be fairly common around me.

I’d also be stressed about it if it were DD but ultimately they’re adults with jobs, they’ll be fine.

Why? He found someone he loves and has spent 9 years with her. What should he be waiting for?

I am afraid op is going to be one interfering mother/ mother in iaw.

I have been with my dh since 18. Now in our 40s. We had 2 kids by the time we were 24. So I dont think its to young. They both sound sensible. I would trust that they know what's best for themselves. You cant know if it would work out better if they married in 5 years or 10 .
All you can do is support him in his choices.

I was joking about the golf. Everything else was spot on.

It maybe slightly youngish especially for those who prioritise career ladder than personal life but it seems like your DS is well settled in his profession and wants to commit to a woman he has loved for 10 years. I see no problem.

Do you want him to wait till 30, party hard and have multiple break ups and relationships?

I don't see the issue here really. I'd bought a house and DP and I had had a kid by the time I was 24. We're not married (DPs decision rather than mine, but we're still together 18 years on so may as well be married)

I don't feel I've missed out on anything. We've still done our exploring, just with DD in tow, and now she's off to uni and I'm only 42 with a decent job and a load of spare cash to do nice things with.

@Eralione Your son sounds like he's found his person, they tried being apart and realised they're better off together. They're already living together, any potential future breakup is going to be painful for them, married or not. It sounds like all marriage can do at this point is being security and happiness.

Indeed.

And presumably most of these stories reflect relationships which were more equal financially in terms of what was 'brought' to the marriage.

Perhaps pre-nups do need to be recognised legally. What is brought to a marriage/cp remains yours if the marriage ends but anything acquired during the marriage is split (as it should be)