AIBU to worry my son is too young to marry?

It's really not in 2026, but he is an adult and it's perfectly legal.

Its not like he's only just begun the world of work. He must have been working for several years... so its not that wet behind the ears I'm guessing.

I think if you raised this issue at all, it should have been raised at the time of the house purchase. It's too late now.

He's old enough and they've been together long enough to make that decision.

You could upset them both by mentioning this. You are looking at the worst case scenario... something which may never happen. If they had children and decided to split up, then it would not be such a bad thing if she did get half the house since it would be for your Grandchildren's benefit.

Maybe they are talking about marriage because they are thinking of children.
In any case, both working, both did demanding courses.. doing lots of hobbies. They both sound quite mature.

And did you ever forgive that accusation @HelenTherese ? I know I wouldn't

I have a son of 24 and would be mortified if he got married now, I think 24 is far too young for either sex. FWIW I was engaged at 23 and it would have been an absolutely awful if I had married him!

Be honest Op, is it his age that really bothers you or would you rather he married someone else? He's been with her for 9 years, that's more than long enough to know if you want to marry someone.

They've been together for 10 years, they're hardly rushing into it. I think the problem is you are regretting handing over a large amount if money without advising him to seek a deed of trust, which would have protected the inheritance in the event they split up. Did they put anything in place at the time they bought?

I’m worried they are just settling so young when they have much of the world to see!

Marriage isn't really the issue there. If they're buying a house in her village, them cohabiting instead wouldn't change any of the fundamentals. It doesn't sound like they were going to be footloose and fancy free regardless.

Plus being married doesn't mean they can't see the world. As a teacher he could work in any number of countries. They could rent the house out while he take a contract on the other side of the planet.

It is young compared to average but so what - they have been happy together for a long time and there are no red flags to concern yourself with. I met DH at 30, but have several friends who met their OH age 16-22 who married them and all still happily married (we're 50 now).

As for risking his inheritance, if that's the way you see it that is always on the horizon when someone inherits money young or is otherwise wealthy. It's his money now and you should stop thinking of it as connected to you / your loved one. Presumably you trusted him to be responsible with the money when you gave it to him.

Nope. I got married at 23, and so did my mom. I’ve been married for almost 14 years and my parents for 43. Your son has been with this woman for nearly a decade, they’ve already weathered a breakup and found their way back to each other and now they’re adults with careers and a home. At some point you have to stop treating “young” as synonymous with “incapable of making adult decisions.”

Could it end in flames? Sure. So could a marriage entered into at 34, 44, or 64. Age is not some magical divorce-proofing serum. If you’re worried about the financial side, that’s a separate practical conversation about ownership and legal protection, not a reason to act like he’s rushing into marriage with someone he met six weeks ago. Leave your son alone and let him be excited about marrying the person he’s loved since he was a kid.

He’s a grown man and you’re being infantilising and weird about this.

Oh god. You sound like my mother in law. I married my husband at 23 and he was 25. My mother in law called me a gold digger. That was 31 years ago with two kids in those years. Stop infantilising full grown adults.

I agree. 23 is very young to get married in the 2020s. The vast majority of people in my DCs peer groups/friendship groups (born in the late 1980s to late 1990s) got married between 28 and 32. Some are still unmarried in their mid 30s.

Very unusual for anyone in the 2020s to get married at 23. That is very young in this day and age. Even when I got married - 1990s - many people I knew were 26 to 30 when they got married.

Just let them live their lives. If they split up in the future and she gets half of it, so what? It stopped being your money to worry about when you gave it away.

The difference with those situations is that it is likely this woman will be the mother of his child/children. The ' half the house' scenario will be to provide a home for their children. I would be horrified if my DS divorced someone and chucked his children out of home so he could ' protect his inheritance'. I fully agree with you re second marriages. I would never remarry because my house is my children's, but her children will likely be his children in this case.

In the UK there is no such thing!

I agree that it's very young - I know lots of PPs have said it's totally normal, they were married with 2 kids by 24 etc, but average age in the UK for first marriage is about 32. They are out of step with their peers.

I don't get the hurry - do you think they'd be open to living together but not getting married for say 2 years? Give them a chance to be together as adults - you could suggest that you want them to have fun together while they're young, not to settle down into adult life too soon. They're just out of college, they could both change a lot.

I too would be worried about the property in case of a split, as well as the pain of going through a divorce.

I don’t think it’s insanely young, just a little younger than average. I have a son who’s one year older than yours who has had a few long term relationships. Some I’ve liked some not so much but I have learnt that they do not appreciate your opinion or advice on their life’s, which is fair enough. If it ends in divorce and she gets half of the property then it is what it is, you have zero control here.

It might be completely unrelated to money. But if my child had received enough money at a young age to be mortgage free, then chat about marriage started, my antennae would be prickling, regardless of who is proposing or if my child was male or female. I might just be old and cynical 😅.

Likewise - a large number of our friends got together with their future spouses at university.
Graduated. Travelled together and independently of partners. Partied. Got jobs. Engaged around age 25. Married around 26-28. More holidays and parties. Babies from age 30.
Married for 20y-ish.
No divorces.

leave them alone. imagine your mum posting on Mumsnet about you getting married too young. absolute cringefest

He's an adult. You're suggesting his mother tells him what to do like he's a toddler.

Married at 24, 20 years later still together.. do you @Eralione think he’s stupid and she’s evil?

I’d definitely be telling him to get a watertight prenup !