AIBU to think this is completely normal?

106 replies

Marycontrarygarden · 06/09/2026 09:02

So, this morning I woke up, played with my 1.5 year old for a little while, then decided a little me time would be nice this morning. Told OH l, I feel like going to get a coffee, he replied, do it. I said great, won't be long, he replied, take as long as you like, 'baby' and I may go out or do some DIY x. AIBU to think this is what most parents should expect from their OH? It seems like it is not the norm on here. BTW we both work full time Mon to Fri.

OP posts:

Disturbia81 · 06/09/2026 13:54

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 06/09/2026 09:40

The only thing that I don't find very "normal" about your post is the idea that a man might call a grown woman "baby". But setting that aside, yes, it sounds like a very normal interaction.

Enjoy your coffee.

It’s a term of affection, not calling them a baby.

UnbeatenMum · 06/09/2026 19:44

Marycontrarygarden · 06/09/2026 10:24

How old are they? I have a lot of education experience without going into too much detail. Feel free to DM.

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Thanks, that's very kind but it's quite a specific scenario due to his combination of needs and disabilities and I think we do already have the right plan in place, it's just taking time to implement.

GreyCarpet · 06/09/2026 20:26

ClassActress · 06/09/2026 10:20

Do people on here actually tell other people who say they’re happily that they’re lying and all men are crap? I’ve never come across this.

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I have. I've been told that it's a shame that women like me are so in denial that we lie to ourselves to make excuses for men who do the beware minimum and consider that to be equal.

GreyCarpet · 06/09/2026 20:50

I'd assume he wanted to have a wank or play computer games and zero DIY would be getting done.

That's really sad, tbh.

If i go out for a meal with friends, to a hobby or just lunch on my own, I get back and my partner will have cleaned the kitchen top to bottom, done some work on the garden and/or been shopping.

When i was married and my children were young enough to need supervising by a parent, it looked exactly the same as it did when he went out and I was at home. Whoever was at home did a view chores, spent some time with the children, put them to bed and then, if there was time, did whatever we wanted - played musical instrument, read, played a video game, whatever.

CruelsummerTS · 06/09/2026 20:53

Marycontrarygarden · 06/09/2026 09:05

Ah...you speak true. I think a lot of posts this morning about relationships were so sad when the woman is not 'allowed' these things.

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There have been some awful threads lately from women with horrible controlling arsehole husbands.

CruelsummerTS · 06/09/2026 20:58

Disturbia81 · 06/09/2026 13:54

It’s a term of affection, not calling them a baby.

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I read it as a placeholder for the baby’s name

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