AIBU to think this is completely normal?

I don’t think it’s normal for multiple reasons.

1 - not many people seem to have down days on here. They’re always busy.
2 - if they do go for a coffee it tends to be planned way ahead of time.
3 - they usually want to spend the time with their DPs as a family.
4 - not enough women get ‘me’ time, especially SAHMs

I think that you randomly deciding to get a coffee with such a young child is quite rare.

I’m guessing you were feeling extra stressed and needing to get away from it and it’s lovely that your DP is so supportive and doesn’t question you.

You can love your kids but still get overwhelmed and need the break and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I think it’s something that a lot of men don’t understand which is why women tend to get less breaks.

My sisters DH is not happy if she wants too much me time.
He works 1 week on, 1 week off so has loads of child-free time. and she works apart from weekends.
So the weekends are the only time she gets to have famity time with her DH and DC. He moans if she wants to go out on weekends too often because he says that’s family time - I would see it as controlling but many women on here would agree with him.

I'd assume he wanted to have a wank or play computer games and zero DIY would be getting done.

I'd also wonder who would be caring for the child while he did these things?

Was the 'baby' in inverted commas?

Either way I'd find it pretty nauseating being called that. When I'd not long ago given birth to an actual baby. That he seemingly didn't feel the need to take sole charge of.

There was a comma. Not sure why this is confusing so many people.

I'd assume he wanted to have a wank or play computer games and zero DIY would be getting done.

I'd also wonder who would be caring for the child while he did these things?

Was the 'baby' in inverted commas?

Either way I'd find it pretty nauseating being called that. When I'd not long ago given birth to an actual baby. That he seemingly didn't feel the need to take sole charge of.

Normal in my household. My kids are older now (11 and 8) so it’s fairly easy going, but we’ve always had a good relationship with each other. Nowadays it would be more likely to be hampered by logistics over who needs to be ferried where for sports or play dates or whatever, but there would be time for coffee and alone time after dropping them off!

But I do think the jump from 1-2 kids can be a shock, particularly for the DH, as those kind of interactions are quite easy with one toddler, but add in a baby and then that first toddler is now older and wilder, and both parents are exhausted and more stressed and me time is more needed but also much more difficult to get.

Also mumsnet would be very boring if everyone only posted about their perfectly reasonable DHs sharing the load

Yeah that would have put me off going!

I wondered if that wasn't his intention actually ...

My relationship is far from perfect but once I wasn't breastfeeding, I have always had easy and free will to do what I want to do and vice versa, if it's ever felt uneven then we have discussed it and changed it with no drama, but that's usually been a case of the overwhelmed person not arranging or asking, nobody's ever said no to the other or even been reluctant.

A lot of people never see a normal functioning relationship, they were raised with dysfunctional or single parents, and only hear the drama. It explains a lot of reason why people stay in bad relationships. So it was posts like this and people listing the 'normal but nice' things on forums like this that made me realise my relationship as a very young parent (20 years ago) was actually abusive rather than a bit difficult. So whilst people don't post the normal or the good, posts like this can be very important.

Yep and some women on here are absolutely adamant that EVERY SINGLE MAN watches p**n and we’re just naive if we think our husband doesn’t. They can’t conceive the possibility that a man wouldn’t want to watch.

It is completely normal, yes but not all families circumstances are the same. Also MN IMO is a place for ranting, venting and looking for support.. no-one wants to read about the normal relationships!
DH took our 3 DCs swimming this morning whilst I went to the gym. He’s now gone for a long run and I’m taking the DCs to the park. He’ll pick up the DDogs when he’s finished and we’ll regroup in a pub garden for Lunch and a glass of wine somewhere later. Typical Sunday for us, not very exciting but united, both with ‘me time’ and the DCs are happy too.

I know, and so am I, but little ones and DIY are not my favourite mix...

Haha..fair enough. I didn't really know if he could be looking after the baby while doing DIY either!