AIBU to feel upset after my meeting with my manager?

Did you overlook the part where the OP said she doesn’t actually need the money? I’d say the OP doesn’t need to progress. What a great position to be in.

Depends on the company. I can think of at least two in the area I live where employees are on or just above NMW and at most get a very small cost of living rise if they are lucky.

Pilates all the way!

I've worked in environments where I've been falsely accused of having a bad attitude and not being a team player, and it's usually when they want you out. (which is usually for some reason which is nothing to do with you)

If it's paying bare minimum, why ever would you stay? Don't try and make sense of these people. You'll waste your life doing so.

I've always left jobs where the environment was toxic or I was lied about. Back then (10-20 years ago) you were called "flaky" and "job hopper" and told you'd never work again.

Now according to LinkedIn it's the done thing to walk out if unhappy! But these days mental health is prioritised.

They couldn't give you one example of your behaviour ... pathetic nonsense IMO!

I'd wonder if they are just inexperienced/ rubbish managers, who are threatened by the fact you are so good & honest.

Do not let it get into your head. I have worked at places like this & nothing I did was ever good enough - it was like an abusive relationship.

If they thought you were so bad then why would they ask you to increase your hours?

You could do / try / say lots of things, but I wouldn't bother. Politely refuse the extra hours, stop going above & beyond, do only your set hours and take all your breaks.

Refuse to give your opinion on anything from now on. Meanwhile look & apply for any other job. Can you network with all those who have left & gone elsewhere to find somewhere where you would be valued & appreciated

Are you on or have you considered HRT?

Just leave. It's honestly not worth the agro.

I had a similar situation about 8-9 years ago. Was stressed up to eyeballs, mental health in tatters, yet I wound myself up no end about quitting. I'd be leaving them in the lurch! I wouldn't get another job! What would my partner/parents say?!

Anyway, on a random Tuesday afternoon, during a chat with my boss, it just fell out of my mouth that I'd decided to leave. He told me to sleep on it, which I did, and had the best nights sleep of my life. I confirmed my decision the next day, and IMMEDIATELY felt about 75% better.

The found a replacement for me within 24 hours - literally - the boss called in an old friend of his.

I've since gone on to have the happiest, most content 9 years of my adult life.

As for work, I started temping, and found I really liked it. I enjoyed the variety and change, and I set up 2 side hussles, which have both been really successful. I found myself wishing I'd made the jump years ago.

You've got this OP.

Oh, sweetie - your face no longer fits and your card is marked. So irrespective of the rights and wrongs of the situation, you need to leave and before your mental health and wellbeing further deteriorates and/or you’re put on some PIP or managed out. And I see you’ve decided to do so.

And as for what you say, well, you hand in your notice by email. And if asked, any response you chose to give can be limited to ‘it’s time for me to move on’.

As for getting signed off for your notice period, I wouldn’t - just come into the office on time, leave on time and do the bare minimum. Keep your head held high, remain professional and I think you might find your notice period a slow winding down. Oh, and don’t stress out about handovers, training other staff or manuals/‘how to’s’ you’re requested to do.

TBH - I think you have made a mistake and that’s simply overstaying your time at the organisation. Your loyalty and ‘above & beyond’ hard work has not been recognised by current management - the others have left and it’s now your time to go.

All the best x

Other posters have suggested quitting then claiming for constructive dismissal, but this is notoriously hard to win.

While it may seem that way, it isn't quite true. Many constructive and unfair dismissal claims are settled via ACAS conciliation, prior to ET hearings. The number of settlement claims aren't widely reported, but:

From ACAS data:
Acas settled around 70% of cases that did not progress to a tribunal hearing in July to September 2025. This represents a 4 percentage point decrease from 74% in April to June 2025.

From Yerty:
Around 82% of unfair dismissal claims are resolved without ever reaching a full hearing. The 6% struck-out rate is the highest of any major claim type — most often because claimants miss a deadline or fail to comply with a tribunal direction.

What percentage of unfair dismissal claims succeed?
Around 3% of disposed claims succeed at a full tribunal hearing. Of those that actually reached a hearing, around 43% won. 32% settle through ACAS conciliation, and around 82% are resolved without a hearing.

This somewhat mirrors my experience.

My employer threatened me with disciplinary action over something minor which I've later realised was due to undiagnosed ADHD made worse by perimenopause. It was the trigger I needed to leave. That was 4 years ago & I have temped ever since, and have been at my current place for 3 years. They value my experience.

Yeah, you owe them nothing.

Get signed off sick which screws them over - use that breathing space to sort out other opportunities - then resign, ideally with a big 'fuck you'.

What a dreadful place to work. . Id leave and do the bare minimum during my notice period.

Go on the sick and raise a grievance.

@derFutterneid Are you in a Union?

The way they're treating you is absolutely disgusting. They're taking advantage of you by piling on the work then blaming you when it impacts you. It sounds like such a nasty toxic environment and the issue is management, not you. You're worth so much more than this. I wish you all the luck with your pilates 🥳

I think it’s them not you by the sound of it.

Some managers are threatened by people who are too competent, the manager knows you could do their job and they don’t like it.

i must admit I opened this thread expecting mumsnet to be on the side of the manager as they tend to be. That isn’t the case which is fairly telling.

Get signed off sick and use that time to look for another job.
When you return to work do the bare minimum.

I expect they're trying to push you out OP, partly because of your age and partly because they prefer to have contracted staff. You also aren't a "yes" person.

I wouldn’t put my notice in just yet if I was in your position, I’d rinse my sick pay whilst looking for another job. I’ve seen this happen loads of times.

Separate note to everyone saying look for a job in a supermarket, they have cut staff back to the bare bones and the memories you are looking on fondly don’t exist anymore unfortunately.

Leave.

I'd definitely contact some temping agencies

I wonder if we work for the same company. I’ve had an awful time and recently told my behaviours weren’t up to scratch. Apparently I don’t say good morning loud enough amongst other ridiculous things. It’s become apparent they are using behaviours to bully people. Many colleagues made redundant who are nearly all part time mums of young children or those with disabilities.
Im making a plan to leave

This this this!! The absolute fuckers!

Your child is right, even if you stay it will just be more of the same. Same stress, same minimal pay, same lack of appreciation. The next review will be worse. Get out! Enjoy the look on their face when you slap your resignation on their desk.

Sounds like you are perfectly eligible to go on stress leave too. Use your remaining holiday. Take a couple of days to breath then plan plan plan. If money is an issue get thyself to an employment agency for part time contracting to tide you over.