Whole families on UC, PIP, DLA and carers' allowance for each other?

You clearly only work with certain parents and not all parents. I work in an SEN school and yes a small percentage of parents face similar difficulties to their children, I think this to be expected due to the genetic aspect of some SEN. Some kids however are in care and completely let down by the system - they have nobody to fight their corner both in care and education. A good percentage of kids come from hard working, loving supportive homes and have been through hell trying to get the LA (and often school) to respect EHPC requirements. I have a lot of empathy for parents who provide the best they can despite being burnt out and unsupported.

They’re really not, my dad and partner are on 13 different tablets a day, I am on 4 different meds my sibling on 6 as has an autoimmune condition, not one of us pay for medications

I'm in Scotland and it is absolutely not true that all medication is free. I have multiple medications that I have to fund myself in addition to loads of supplements and dozens of other costs for various aids, help etc and private medical care for when the NHS is incompetent/likely to cause you harm due to their total lack of knowledge of some conditions. It sounds like the disabilities your family have experience of are either relatively mild, low cost or both but not everyone is in that situation.

That may be so but a great many people on benefits won't qualify for both of those to begin with and of those that do, only some will get that much.

And you've confirmed that it's a certain demographic that tend to get the larger amounts - moderately or severely disabled people with next to no savings, single parents with next to no savings etc. Many of those who don't qualify for both won't have any interaction with people in jobs like yours so you may not be aware of how many are vastly worse off than working professionals. I qualified for disability benefits 5 years ago and have had next to no interaction with any benefits professionals since then. I get about 50% minimum wage as do many of my disabled friends and that has to cover everything including housing, disability costs etc. It obviously doesn't and I am very lucky to have family members paying many of my bills because I need to hang on to my savings for treatment that the NHS won't fund (some of my conditions are not recognised by the NHS and I have had to go abroad for treatment multiple times over the last few years). They didn't know that though and had it not been for family members willing to do this I would be in dire straights now.

That's not to say I don't think wages should be higher - but that's another issue. We should be fighting for higher wages rather than looking to cut benefits - we don't spend a lot on benefits compared to other developed countries or compared to past welfare spending. We have always spent a fairly average amount and this has remained fairly constant over the last 5 decades. We are spending more on some things but less on others and it balances out.

Do you or your child qualify for disability benefits yourselves? Do you have a spouse or partner to share the load with?

YANBU OP.

I’ve been on the left all my life, but on the issues of benefits and asylum, we’ve just created systems that are now completely abused.

I have children with special needs and have attended meetings at school. I accepted the offer of a cup of tea?
Shouldn't I have?
Should I have made one instead for the TA?

Wow. What a way to dehumanise disabled people and fundamentally misunderstand genetics, child development and basic human rights.

Very sinister too, because claiming people with disabilities shouldn’t reproduce and that society should prevent disabled births was the type of logic and movement championed by the Nazi party back in the 1930’s.

Not sure if you’re aware that many disabilities result from birth trauma and complications, illness, accidents, environmental factors or late onset conditions. A parent having a disability doesnt automatically mean their child will inherit the same.

Also most neuro-developmental conditions like ADHD, ASD, developmental delays etc. only become identifiable as a child grows which could be years after younger siblings may already be born. So your argument of “after 2 kids probably you can see the signs” doesn’t hold any weight. At all.

There’s no point trying to get through to you though. I’m cringing at all the uneducated waffle you’re spouting.

Not always.

Because they don't believe in eugenics? Because they don't know they are autistic themselves, especially women as it is harder to diagnose autism in girls? Who knows.

If someone is abled bodied (and doesn't need to care for the sick) and you slowly slowly taper away benefit it incentives them to find a way to make up those benefits. Perhaps they work a bit longer than the standard 37.5. maybe they get a longer job, take some time to learn to upskill (I wouldn't find actually welfare being used to fund a course). Perhaps they start their own business or build something from their laptop.

As they say give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for the rest of his life

After 2 kids probably you can see the signs. And even so, maybe good reason to space the kids out.

And if you're disabled yourself, why pass that disability on.

Oops! Law not jaw! 😂

That's because so many people can't or refuse to look beyond cutting people's benefits. In some cases its because they've a solution looking for a problem, in others they see only one solution to a problem without knowledge that it doesn't actually work.
The OP manages to combine both these approaches. She wants benefits cut, so has introduced the problem of workless families and the idea that removing benefits is the solution.
There are many ways to reduce worklessness and there is evidence that cutting peoples benefits is not one of them. Its the other way round. Tackle worklessness and benefits savings will follow.

Not always. Again, especially if children are close in age.

For God’s sake. This is exhausting.

You aren't describing someone 'better off financially', you're describing a household supporting four disabled people on one wage.

PIP/DLA is not income. It's a non means tested benefit meant to cover the exorbitant lifelong costs of medical equipment, mobility, therapies and specialist care. If you think a family dealing with three disabled children and one disabled parent is living the high life because the state helps keep them afloat, you are confusing survival support for severe illness with disposable income.

Don't they see it after maybe not 1 but see the development of 2 kids?

If the parents also themselves have genetic health issues, maybe don't pass it along to offspring?

Babies aren't born with ''I have autism'' (or whatever it may be) tattooed on their foreheads. If people have their children close together and/or are autistic themselves so their children present similar to them, it can be tricky to realise until you have already had 2 or 3 children in some cases.

Yes with some. With others there is no point working as they will lose their pip and other disability benefits if they are well enough to work and be no better off.

Not all children on DLA receive both high rate care and high rate mobility though which is what pp was talking about in regards to independence. They are less likely able to transition to their own place.

Maybe they are too unwell to work

Look obviously it's not the child's fault they are disabled and given they are born we should support them as obviously they didn't choose to be born this way. But after having not one but two disabled kids... Why have a third?

Only one fifth of people who get pip work. The vast majority do not.

I understand that PIP isn’t an out of work benefit, and many people will be able to work and still be eligible for PIP.

You do understand that a lot of conditions people claim PIP for, they would no longer be eligible if they worked? If you say you can't cope with communicating with strangers, only leave the house to go to familiar places, struggle following through with any tasks, get anxious if anyone asks you to do anything. Etc etc.
If you could work, you would be ineligible for pip. Usually they will be claiming UC or lcwra.

Plenty of children who get DLA transition to pip and UC and their own place at the same age as their peers.

They alternative is that the care is provided by a third party, which would cost the state a hell of a lot more than the pittance that is carers allowance.
And PIP isn’t an out of work benefit. You can work and claim PIP.

She could work and still claim PIP plus DLA for the 3 children 🤷🏻‍♀️.
People do realise that having a disabled child isn’t a bed of roses though, don’t they? My son gets hog higher rate DLA. I’d give anything for him not to be disabled, and to one day be able to live an independent life.