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Original poster

ds has refused his first 2 days of year 7

307 replies

dinosaursroars · 03/09/2026 11:37

my ds was due to start year 7 yesterday, he’s got asd but no ehcp which i was already concerned about

i don’t drive so he was going to to with his older brother (y10) on the bus but he wasn’t starting until today so I tried to take him yesterday but was also with my baby in the pushchair and my 5yo.

he got ready and everything but when we were walking to the bus stop he kept saying he didn’t want to go and was getting upset and tried to run in the road and it just wasnt safe as it was just me and also trying to keep an eye on my younger children so i gave in and we went home which probbaly wasnt great

Today I had to do the school run for my 5yo so couldn’t take him in and he was going to go with his brother as planned but he just wouldn’t get dressed he kept saying things like he wanted his old school and he didnt want to start a new school etc so again i gave in as he was going to make my other children late

have phones the school and the head of year 7 is supposed to call me today but hasn’t yet

I just feel like a failure already i was already worried about him going to school and how he’d cope but not actually getting him there i didnt think this would be the issue

OP posts:
ButtercupYellow26 · 06/09/2026 22:55

Had you thought of repeating year six at his old school if he is just not ready for secondary?

Needmorelego · 06/09/2026 22:56

ButtercupYellow26 · 06/09/2026 22:55

Had you thought of repeating year six at his old school if he is just not ready for secondary?

It has to be extreme circumstances for a child to repeat a year in England.

Sussexserpents · 07/09/2026 06:32

dinosaursroars · 06/09/2026 21:44

i dont have anyone’s number

It’s very likely there is a class WhatsApp group. The school cannot add you or pass on your number due to gdpr so therefore are not officially school related so therefore you will need to ask one of the other parents about it. If you ask the school office they will likely know which parent is a class rep or they may be able to forward a link and you can join the group from there.

if you don’t have anyone’s number are you missing out on party invites? How do you arrange play dates. Does you son have a friend you can speak to their parents about helping each other out? If you don’t have a village in the form of family support you need to put the work and effort in to find your own.

metellaestinatrio · 07/09/2026 08:07

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Sussexserpents · 07/09/2026 08:46

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Absolutely this! Op has said her kids are clean, fed and have clean uniform. There are plenty of kids in all schools who are not and all staff are stretched dealing with these scenarios. There is not the budget and not the staffing levels to deal with every families unique scenarios and schools have to make triage decisions.

plasticplate · 07/09/2026 09:10

Balloonhearts · 03/09/2026 11:51

Year 7? Seriously? He's what 10/11? He doesn't get a say in whether he goes to school. He does as he's damn well told, even if I had to drag him there by the bloody ear.

Discipline him. Running in the road wouldn't have occurred to me as my mum would have walloped my arse in front of all my new schoolmate for pulling that sort of shit.

I wonder if you have ever tried dragging a resistant 11 year old somewhere. I suspect not. It's not like dealing with a toddler.

Sereine · 07/09/2026 09:11

Balloonhearts · 03/09/2026 11:51

Year 7? Seriously? He's what 10/11? He doesn't get a say in whether he goes to school. He does as he's damn well told, even if I had to drag him there by the bloody ear.

Discipline him. Running in the road wouldn't have occurred to me as my mum would have walloped my arse in front of all my new schoolmate for pulling that sort of shit.

Tell me you know nothing about autism without saying you know nothing about autism.

However, your mother's abusive parenting methods probably explain a lot.

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