I wonder if what the original post is trying to say is that actually, the majority of parents do not parent in a gold standard way. Most people are winging it. Most people fudge concepts and do a bit of a mishmash of whatever was good from their own childhood + what seems logical + things they have read / seen / heard from experts, books, TV, (etc) or other parents.
For NT children this doesn't tend to matter very much, ie it works, because getting it roughly right is absolutely enough. For the majority of children, developing better skills and behaviour happens naturally as a combination of natural development + opportunity to practice skills + life experience (both direct, ie the direct outcomes of their own decisions/behaviour, but also indirect ie seeing the outcomes of what happens to others around them, hearing stories from trusted people, hearing repeated stories from acquaintances/strangers/fiction and observing cultural narratives/norms) and they also tend to have a strong drive to fit in with socially compliant behaviour ie mimicking what they see modelled and accepted. (And accordingly, behaviour/healthy coping and communication skills can become skewed if the social norms around the child are skewed or if opportunities for practice and gaining experience are curtailed).
The role of parenting is essentially a fairly concentrated flavour of social approval/disapproval. It plays a not insignificant, but overall small role in how NT children grow up because the most important factor is the set of social norms that the child grows up within, which is partly set by their parents' own behaviour, a small amount by how their parents react to their behaviour and largely the ways that the majority of people around them (which are mostly selected, not necessarily consciously, by their own parents - this is the "Parents are gardeners not carpenters" theory). In that parents tend to socialise with other adults whose value systems they broadly share and tend to seek out environments for their children (e.g. schools, neighbourhoods, social clubs) where the value system is broadly shared. But this is also how, for example, children of immigrants tend to absorb more of the culture of their adopted country than their parents' culture of origin even if the parents are very keen to bring the children up with an understanding of their home culture.
With ND children the problem is partially that the natural development piece is not happening on time and/or the ability to pick up on cues for social norms or be influenced according to social norms is less proficient. And so parenting or other influences have to fill in a lot of gaps and this means that frequently, "winging it" or adhering roughly to common parenting principles isn't enough, because the child can't necessarily fill in the gaps with all this other information because they are not necessarily able to access it.
So it's not really that ND children are receiving worse parenting, most children receive parenting which is adequate but imperfect. But ND children might need closer to perfect parenting (which doesn't exist) to get the same effect.
Although there is a whole other factor about how ND child behaviour can actually influence parent response as well and factor in to ND children (the research centres on ADHD and I can try to find this) receiving more in the way of counterproductive parenting, to be blunt, because their behaviour is more irritating. It is difficult to talk about because you don't want to blame the child. And I don't think the research is blaming the child, but recognising that it can be extremely difficult to maintain consistency and calmness in the face of challenging behaviour.