Daughter left to get hotel in reading on last day of festival by my husband who can’t be arsed to pick her up. Says I am being hysterical that I don’t think that is the best answer.

I know this would have been all sorted now but grown women who drive can drive so if you wanted to go get her you go get her this I am just a little womman who cant do big people things so I need a man to do it for me is getting old,

and no I see nothing wrong in her getting a hotel, I would have called the hotel and checked as she is not 18 so may have paid and she could have paid me back (if i was in this situation)

You don’t know why the OP is nervous of driving though. She may have been in a horrendous crash recently.

Anyone who claims young women aren’t at risk from assault - exacerbated at night with reduced visibility and fewer ration people around — is deluded.

A man trying to weaponise your concern by using it to belittle you — is abusive (imho).

I hope your daughter stays with her friends whatever they all decide to do.

I’ve heard that a fair few tents in white camp at Reading have already been flattened / robbed by other campers. Hopefully OP is on her way. Camping at Reading sounds absolutely shite.

Just go and get her yourself, surely?

I would happily collect my child no matter what time, with or without short notice. Teens are impulsive, it wouldn't annoy me and tbh I'd rather they didn't stay a Sunday night at Reading festival! It's supposed to be carnage.

@BananaPeels out of curiosity, how old are your kids?

16 and 12 why?

YANBU - it's a PITA but I'd pick her up, or nag her Dad to if I couldn't on the basis that we've always told our kids (at that age or under) not to be scared to call at any time day or night if they need help. I'd rather my 17 yo be safe - I don't see a hotel working out. I assume you'll make it clear that you're not impressed and that in future they need a good plan that they stick to - just get her home.

Keen to know if your DD is now home safe OP? Literally just back from Reading myself - been there with DDs. Weather and conditions awful this weekend, Sunday night camping can be pretty dodgy in any case. I would always pick up. I would also LTB. What a selfish prick.

Well done, OP

Well done.

Who needs a man who’ll undermine you and dismiss safety for your daughter and other children/yps? Not you!

Very well done OP! You should feel really proud of yourself for overcoming your fears and putting your daughters safety first.

Your DH is a dick.

Am I going mental,or is the most important sentence of this post "Bearing in mind he is in the middle of an emotional affair with someone 20 years younger at work". Go get your daughter and tell your "DH" to get lost!

Good, glad your DD is safe. Now keep yourself safe and figure out how to rescue yourself from what sounds like a disrespectful husband.

This is the most baffling thing I’ve ever read on this site.

you’re ending your marriage because he made you drive?

He's also in the middle of an emotional affair with someone 20yrs younger, she was reluctant due to ptsd which he knows she has and was rude to her. .....I'm guessing its the icing on the cake.

In the OP’s second post she says the original plan was that last night her daughter was getting a lift back with another parent. It’s not clear why that plan was ditched. Did the other parent pull out? I would be more unhappy with teenager and other parent who was supposed to be giving a lift than husband over this although unhappy with husband for other reasons. Any future festivals or trips away with friends need better travel plans and no stupid 1am lift expectations.

Agree with this.

Well done OP for the late trip and doing the drive.

I do feel like these teens (mine included) feel like they can dictate all the terms of lifts like we are some taxi/shuttle bus service. My parents would never have collected me at 1am - it would have been get the last train or get a cab. This made me pretty streetwise and independent.

I’m going to be having a few words with DS - he ditched his 11.30 lift for a 1am lift and rocked home at 3am (we were doing lots of lift shares with other parents).

There’s a balance between wanting them to be safe but also encouraging them to sort all this out in advance and stick to the plan. I am happy it’s over!

Id be more pissed off with a 17 year old who couldn't commit to a night of camping like she said she would

Well done mylot.

Good for you.

Sounds like a very worthwhile and positive thing in the end.

Well done OP

FWIW I left a very shitty marriage when my DC were teens and it was a lot easier steering them through the festival years when it was completely just on me.

No expectations of their shitty father, just showing them they could rely on me, and teaching them how to navigate things like plans changing. Lots of strong women supported me and at some point I realised I was one myself too.

There is almost zero relevance to how things were done ‘in my day’ - the world, society and technology has changed vastly. There is instant communication so we think we can flex plans and then there is signal blackouts so we feel stranded. There is a plan to camp and then there is soggy reality for one night too long. There are always people saying teens are entitled because they want help, whilst ignoring the mental health crisis in older generations- maybe we didn’t learn resilience! Maybe we are all a little bit broken from that!

For me the approach of ‘treat my teen how I’d have liked to be treated myself’ has worked better than ‘they will learn their lesson’.

Good luck OP you did something brave last night, PTSD is a huge encumbrance, you should feel proud of yourself. Good luck for the future. I have a feeling you are about to enter a new era of happiness.

Crashed out soon after I posted 😴 so relieved to wake up and see this OP. Well done - I do think this was the right thing to do, I’m glad you found it okay and I hope you’re proud of yourself.

To all of the people saying she should have camped or got an early lift or made her own way home with the apparent implication this makes them a better a parent - I don’t think it does.

Even for those camping the whole weekend it’s advisable to clear out on Sunday night - Sunday night is historically when things have gone pear shaped, tents getting set alight etc - so I would not want any one I cared about to camp the last night anyway.

It was also like The Somme yesterday evening - not great conditions all weekend but completely grim last night.

Going to Reading and then leaving early before the headline act is ridiculous - and I disagree that any teen being made to do that is going to think that’s reasonable or their parents are teaching them some great life lessons…other than that their parents are petty twats.

OP - I hope your DD had a great time and you’ve all had a great night’s sleep.