Daughter left to get hotel in reading on last day of festival by my husband who can’t be arsed to pick her up. Says I am being hysterical that I don’t think that is the best answer.

I don’t get it. Why don’t they just continue camping and come back in the morning.

Why is she not getting a lift as per original plan?

I totally agree with you but you are going to get the ‘I was working when I was 12 kids these days don’t know they are born’ replies soon….

If her “trusted” friends are being picked up, why are they leaving her without a lift?

Being old enough to go somewhere includes being able to deal with things if plans go awry.

Reading during festival time is packed at 1am including massive police presence. Any person walking around will be safer than they would in Oxford Circus on a saturday afternoon.

Am I correct that she has camped 1 night? Or are you saying the first plan was to camp, they ditched that for another parent to pick them up and now they want you to do it?

In any event, I’d be more concerned about my daughter’s safety at the festival than I would be about her getting to an hotel. There is one available for £230 for the night, that’s less than 10 minutes walk away. If he’s happy to pay that, what’s the problem?

I’m collecting my 17 year old daughter at 1am. Have just got back from Hills Meadow which is the official pick up/drop off spot a) to collect her stuff and b) to scout it out! (Thought it might be a field but is an actual car park). Plenty of parents and staff around. It’s also right by Caversham bridge where the shuttle boat drops them. Hope that helps OP.

Traffic is a mare though - allow loads of time!

If you ‘give her an earful’ you’ll guarantee she’ll never turn to you in a time of need again.

She’s still a child. You’re her parent. Picking her up isn’t a crazy demand

She might be old enough to go to Reading Festival in a group of trusted friends who all have each others’ backs - but not old enough to be wandering around the festival , or camping, or finding g a hotel, on her own if all her friends are picked up tonight

At 17 she can sort herself out. Or you can go fetch her - no one’s going to kidnap or murder you in a carpark in Reading. Around festival time the whole town is heaving with people 24/7 and everywhere is pretty well lit. This whole thing is silly.

I actually wouldn’t read her the riot act. I know when DD went to Leeds, they intended to stay until Monday but on the Saturday night they felt really unsafe due to people on drugs destroying tents. I was pleased she felt she could ring and I picked her and her friends up at about 3am and then took them back on the Sunday to do a day and another parent picked them up. At 17 they are still vulnerable and situations can change quickly.

DD is being unreasonable. There was a lift arranged, then there wasn't? They dont need to be picked up at 1am, they can leave now and be picked up 6pm /7pm or stay another night in their tent.

Your husband is unreasonable I wouldn't leave my daughter wandering around Reading at 1am. If she is already getting a lift back with friends what is the problem?

This entire conversation is totally irrelevant if there are no hotel rooms available.

There are rooms available according to Booking.com … but as she’s 17 they might not accept her.

But the child doesnt need her at 1am, its currently 5pm. If theres a safety issue she needs collecting now. If no safety issue then her original plan is quite relevant

If she’s old enough to go to Reading festival then she’s old enough to get to a hotel in the city centre.

My answer to this is entirely dependent on what's happened to her original plan, and is she camping or not

If shes just being cheeky, and your not happy driving at 1am tell her she can have a lift at 10pm or whenever you are happy. If there's been some disaster thats meant her lift has fallen through then Id just do the pick up at 1am, but if she has a camping ticket then Id do neither and collect her the next day.

Tbh I think if old enough to go to the festival shes old enough to navigate to a hotel or camp/public transport the next day.

The tedious suburban matrons (to pinch a wonderful phrase from another thread!)are out in force today, OP!
No, you are not being unreasonable
Your husband is the problem
If he knows you have PTSD and still chose to make his shitty comments, that's even worse.
17 year olds can't book hotel rooms, so a decent father would have picked her up.
It doesn't matter why her plans changed, the fact is she would be stranded in the early hours, wtf is wrong with some people here?

No way will there be rooms available in Reading tonight, they’ll have been booked up for months.

Personally, if my child needs me, morning or night, I’m there. I’ll deal with the poor planning etc later but my child being safe is paramount.

My thoughts, for what they are worth:

• never mind what your dd should have done, that’s not your question
• yes, I think your dh has effectively checked out , and as so often has checked out of the whole family not just you. He’s offering ridiculous and insulting excuses
• I think you should go. Your dd may be left entirely alone if the rest of the friendship group has lifts tonight
• in an ideal world, you and your dh would go together, to keep each other company, make a bit of a jaunt out of it, and to enable one to circle with the car if necessary, while the other gets out t find dd. That’s not going to happen though

What happened to the lift she was getting with another parent though? You haven't explained.

Why did she want picking up at 1 am? Why didn't she book for another night or leave earlier?
Unless it's an emergency I would be annoyed too.
My children regularly went to festivals and never asked for a lift to get there or back. If she's old enough to go to the festival she should be old enough to be responsible to get there and back.

Better idea she can stay over there.