Page 6 | Daughter left to get hotel in reading on last day of festival by my husband who can’t be arsed to pick her up. Says I am being hysterical that I don’t think that is the best answer.

mylot · 2026-08-30T15:04:50+00:00

So dd 17 just casually told us she wants picking up from Reading festival with a few others at 1am. I was going to go but not super comfortable lone driving in the wee hours knowing I might be waiting around a bit in a car park somewhere (you know what they are like with answering phones) DH offered to go. Then having looked at the mass exodus traffic situation, he says he can’t be arsed and thinks booking her a hotel in the centre of town is a better idea. I said no, anyway, what about her mates. Regardless, she’d be wandering around on her own post festival in a strange town at 1am. He said I was being weird for having a problem with that, no one else would say that. I said ‘Um. I grew up as a woman…’ he said ‘ No other woman I know would ever say that to me.’ Bearing in mind he is in the middle of an emotional affair with someone 20 years younger at work. AIBU to think that some of you would rather go get her (it’s a hour) than have her abandoned in a strange town?

BerryTwister · 30/08/2026 18:00

I’d pick her up myself if I were you OP, but it wouldn’t be 1am. It would be 11.30pm or not at all. Her choice.

Bunnycat101 · 30/08/2026 17:59

Honestly it amazes me that people don’t realise reading can become quite feral. I wouldn’t want to camp there on the last night as a grown up.

fiorentina · 30/08/2026 17:57

Based on the activities I’ve heard occur on Sunday nights at Reading, I’d happily drive to pick up my DD from a festival.

pimplebum · 30/08/2026 17:56

mylot · 30/08/2026 16:12

Oh 100% cheeky of her. She was camping but was getting a lift back off another parent tonight - they are all going back tonight. I think what I was posting really, was wondering if my husband saying I was being hysterical for leaving her to make her own way to a hotel that we’d pay for was unreasonable.

She needs to dtick to plan

Presumably she world get taxi yo hotel maybe with a friend

you are being silly about night driving ( 1 am is shit agreed) and silly about being in a carpark if mass exodus you wont be alone and ring in advance to tell her to answer her phone
( lock the doors if alone in car park drive away from weirdos )

Morepositivemum · 30/08/2026 17:55

I’d go myself too op no matter what, you hear too many stories of someone deciding to try to get home themselves or taking a lift from a bad driver. Radio on, heat on and tell her to make sure to answer her phone!

TheJaneyB · 30/08/2026 17:51

Nocameltoeleggingsplease · 30/08/2026 17:08

I actually wouldn’t read her the riot act. I know when DD went to Leeds, they intended to stay until Monday but on the Saturday night they felt really unsafe due to people on drugs destroying tents. I was pleased she felt she could ring and I picked her and her friends up at about 3am and then took them back on the Sunday to do a day and another parent picked them up. At 17 they are still vulnerable and situations can change quickly.

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This!!!! All these people saying she can stay another night, the last night at Reading the tone always changes and I personally would drive to pick my daughter up at 1am vs her staying Sunday night. Loads of parents will be doing it and it’s a very specific occasion vs being picked up every weekend from a nightclub. And FYI I was at Reading yesterday and it was a nightmare trying to get through on the phone to anyone so it’s very hard to make plans. Honestly could only get messages through about twice and nothing once it got really busy with the headliners. So lack of communication may not be her fault.

Queenncat · 30/08/2026 17:51

Wheresmytrainers · 30/08/2026 17:45

Such harsh responses on here...

One of my dc's is there and has told me that 'it's feral' in there today. Festivals are known for being awful on the last night and I believe that here it gets called The Purge, like the film. The last act on the main stage is Chase and Status who will rev up the crowd no end. If your dd wants to get out of there, it's sensible. All this about them being 17 so they should be able to cope is false reasoning. They might not be able to. Tents get destroyed and jumped on with people inside from what I have read. I would get her home whatever the time. PP's are correct, it's very busy at night and the boat, if not massively oversubscribed, will get her very close to the pick up/drop off. That said, I would not want her walking about alone at night. I doubt she could stay in a hotel under 18 either.

Totally agree.

Brickiscool · 30/08/2026 17:47

The Sunday nights are famous for tents getting burnt/general chaos.

But my 16 year old and all her friends bought day weekend passes so haven't paid for camping. It's really easy to collect kids. There are thousands of parents doing this over the weekend

Wheresmytrainers · 30/08/2026 17:45

Such harsh responses on here...

One of my dc's is there and has told me that 'it's feral' in there today. Festivals are known for being awful on the last night and I believe that here it gets called The Purge, like the film. The last act on the main stage is Chase and Status who will rev up the crowd no end. If your dd wants to get out of there, it's sensible. All this about them being 17 so they should be able to cope is false reasoning. They might not be able to. Tents get destroyed and jumped on with people inside from what I have read. I would get her home whatever the time. PP's are correct, it's very busy at night and the boat, if not massively oversubscribed, will get her very close to the pick up/drop off. That said, I would not want her walking about alone at night. I doubt she could stay in a hotel under 18 either.

Tryagain26 · 30/08/2026 17:44

Brickiscool · 30/08/2026 17:30

It's reading festival. It's a special occasion. 10pm is way too early! The (many many) parents I know doing pick up at various points this weekend are all doing it about midnight. We've all got rotas with different parents doing different days! They go in daily by train and parents pick up at night

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Why didn't she pay for another night camping and arrange for collection the next morning or get the train home the next morning?

Queenncat · 30/08/2026 17:44

MotherOfCatBoy · 30/08/2026 17:17

I’ve always told my DS that if he needs us, for any reason, he can call and one of us will come. And we trust him not be an idiot, obviously, but at the end of the day I’m his parent and he’s my child and he needs to know someone will always have his back. He’s been Interrailing all round Europe and can look after himself, but if he really needed me to come get him and I was in driving distance, I’d do it.

There is a larger context here. What is your relationship with your DD, now and in the future? Do you want her to feel she has a safe harbour in the world? Do you want the line of communication to always be open? Do you want her to ask for help if she needs it? Do you want her to tell you what’s going on in her life?

Ideally she’d be forward thinking enough to have a solution, but some pps are treating her as if she’s 30, not 17. Things can happen - from weather and accidents to friendship fall outs, arguments, assaults. She’s young, she still needs you. Take it as a compliment she feels able to ask, and have the conversation about being more prepared a day or so later.

Exactly. And Reading Festival has a bad reputation for sexual assaults /rapes. Wasn't keen on my 16DD going at all, tbh. So op YANBU. Your DH is thoughtless.

Brickiscool · 30/08/2026 17:43

JaninefromEastenders · 30/08/2026 17:35

Why can't they camp and be collected in the morning?

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Because there are less camping tickets available than day tickets. Plus I'm not letting my 16 year old camp and neither are most of the parents who live in my area. We know the festival well and the camp sites can get quite unsafe at night for 16 year old girls. So the kids get day only tickets and the parents take it in turns to pick up car loads of kids

Shedmistress · 30/08/2026 17:43

JaninefromEastenders · 30/08/2026 17:35

Why can't they camp and be collected in the morning?

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The last night at Reading is notoriously rampant.

bababamama · 30/08/2026 17:41

Just spoke to my dd who is there (apparently got a last minute security job!) there’s camping until Monday lunchtime, why are parents picking up tonight, don’t understand???

RB68 · 30/08/2026 17:39

most hotels wont allow minors to stay on their own

BoredZelda · 30/08/2026 17:38

Nocameltoeleggingsplease · 30/08/2026 17:14

In my DD case the ‘plans going awry’ involved people on ketamine setting fire to tents.
I’m not sure you can plan for that except to say to an adult ‘if I need you will you come?’

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And that can be one of the plans. However, being able to find yourself a hotel for the night, or a train home is really easy in this day and age and a 17 year old should be capable of that if they are deemed capable of taking care of themselves at a festival.

I would 100% pick my daughter up from anywhere at any time if she needs it, but I would also expect her to be able to solve problems too.

MissConductUS · 30/08/2026 17:37

A lot of hotels won’t let an unaccompanied 17 year old check into a room.

AD1509 · 30/08/2026 17:36

Really?! It’s risky enough for young girls nowadays. I can’t imagine not wanting to make sure my own dd is ok.

JaninefromEastenders · 30/08/2026 17:35

Brickiscool · 30/08/2026 17:30

It's reading festival. It's a special occasion. 10pm is way too early! The (many many) parents I know doing pick up at various points this weekend are all doing it about midnight. We've all got rotas with different parents doing different days! They go in daily by train and parents pick up at night

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Why can't they camp and be collected in the morning?

dracn · 30/08/2026 17:34

You haven’t said if your husband is her father.

OranginacanonlybedrunkinFrance · 30/08/2026 17:33

I picked DD up at 3:30am this morning and sat in the car on a side street for 15 mins as they inevitably took longer leaving the site than they anticipated. It was fine. There are so many people around. I imagine that it will be a lot busier at 11pm tonight as it is much earlier than I was there and it’s the last night so loads of people will be leaving

DancingNotDrowning · 30/08/2026 17:32

Ponderingwindow · 30/08/2026 16:45

Hotel was a horrible plan. I would have gotten in my car and gone to get her. my policy is that if you call, we will come.

if my husband, her father, didn’t jump in the car with me, I’m not sure I would ever see him the same way again.

On another day we will have a serious conversation. There might not be festivals or other late outings in her near future depending on what circumstances lead her to that moment. It wouldn’t be about punishment, but about what she is ready to handle.

all of this

BananaPeels · 30/08/2026 17:31

I’m a bit confused though. Having a similarly aged child, as soon as the tickets were booked I would have made her sort out the arrangements of regarding how she was getting there and back. If I was needed at 1am then we would have planned all that in advance and had a fully worked up plan. I don’t understand how this was not all planned weeks in advance?

newname677 · 30/08/2026 17:31

If there is an emergency and she needs collecting then of course go. If not, could she not just camp overnight and then either you collect her tomorrow or she gets the train home?

ForPlumReader · 30/08/2026 17:30

At 17 most of my friends had left home for universities in other cities. Is she not capable of sorting herself out?