Daughter left to get hotel in reading on last day of festival by my husband who can’t be arsed to pick her up. Says I am being hysterical that I don’t think that is the best answer.

I went to Reading a number of times.

One year I went on my own, buying a ticket at the last minute and then met up with friends. I didn't take a tent. I slept in the car (this was deliberate - I have slept in a tent on my own at Glasto). I had £20 cash for the entire weekend. I spent a fiver of that on the roughest bottle of gin ever from Tesco. I am sensible and I was fine.

I happily would go out around Manchester and go to gigs in my own at 18. I wouldn't be worried about worried about walking around Reading on festival weekend at 1am.

BUT I know what Reading is like. It was not my first Rodeo.

If DS went (I live in the NW and would tell him to go to Reading over Leeds every single time due to issues with antisocial behaviour) I would pick him up. No questions asked. It's a good 3hr drive.

I wouldn't take the chance. It is not worth it.

Just get in the car and pick her up. Even if she's taking the piss.

Check the pick up points on the festival website - my husband got a fine last year for parking in TGi Fridays.
Having heard what goes on the last night I think you’re right to go, set off in lots of time and hope she makes it up to you!

Fuck me, what is the point of having a husband if he won't even collect his teenage daughter from what could be a risky situation?

Yes, you could do it yourself, but given that he doesn't even seem to be pulling his weight as a romantic partner to you currently, the least he could do is perform his 'dad role' properly. Any healthy man who would send female family members out in the early hours rather than go himself is a waste of space.

I think your dh’s attitude towards your dd’s safety is wrong but I also think your reasons for not driving are ridiculous.

Baby! 🤮

We had issue with open days and DS being 17 - summer born - they wouldn't let under 18 stay alone in rooms with no adult on site.

Plus would there be any rooms currently in reading.

DH can occaionally be like this a firm don't be ridiculous solves it for me but you seem to have bigger issues plus you could drive yourself to pick her up,

By I'd be concerned about safety in this situation - 17 early hours unknown city most parents I think would be.

Your husband should go. There won't be any hotels anyway last minute but in any event I am not sure I would be happy with this. If you husband is being an arse (and his lack of concern is worrying) you will have to go and get her but if that were me, I would be very upset with him (esp given you have PTSD and are worried about going). I would also talk to your daughter to find out what went wrong with the lift and making sure her plans are bomb proof in future. I would probably also say midnight not 1am.

Collect her yourself
I’ve done it twice with mine - 2 hour drive there and back the traffic isn’t actually that bad IMO there are designated pick up car parks and I’ve found it really well organised

Can you both drive there together? Obviously will be one less space for a friend.

I just know my DH would be there like a shot, for any of our kids, or their friends for that matter.
Just like my kids would (and have) driven 100 miles to pick up a sibling.
What is wrong with people?
Family sticks together?

My 16yo is there and is refusing to leave. I've offered to go get her tonight but she's there until the bitter end it seems! 😆

Or there are tons of other options here, including rideshares, coaches, even boats…

https://www.readingfestival.com/info-category/travel

Can’t she just leave earlier and get a train?

Got our 16 year old daughter this afternoon, she'd had enough. She says there's a war between campsites tonight, so lord knows what that means!

I love festivals but hate camping. I think she takes after me.

When you get home Op, maybe tell your husband that throwing words like weird and hysterical at you is not acceptable. Nor is having an emotional affair at work.
You deserve much better than that sort of behaviour.

I’m not clear what your own trauma was and not asking you to disclose but as a 52 year old woman who’s been alone most of my life I’d drive anywhere at any time. It wouldn’t phase me at all. However I still think he is an absolute waste of a father and would have left him for an emotional affair.

So why can't she use that lift?

Reading seems to be a rite of passage. Then they get there and want to come home early. My DD did the same so I went and got her. You need to do the same. Your DH is beyond belief thinking his own daughter is OK wandering around alone trying to get a hotel room. If he had an ounce of love he'd arrange a taxi or something or just get her.

Any father who thinks it is ok for his 17 year old daughter to be walking around an unknown town in the small hours and booking into a strange hotel is a very odd father. Of course it's not ok. But why did your DD not plan how she was getting back from the festival. Her lack of planning is a worry.
Also, why is your DH having an 'emotional' affair at work? Tell him to stop it or leave, IMHO*, because that is definitely not ok.
*been there, bought the T-shirt, got compared to much nicer women who were more spontaneous than me, and got divorced.

I’d pick her up. It will be easier at 1am than it will tomorrow. Lots of hotels will have a no under 18s in their own rule, plus they are probably all booked up anyhow. I wouldn’t have a 17yr old walking along the side of the Thames (that was the route I left by a couple years ago - might be diff for campers) as it’s pitch black plus camping gear etc. How come her lift has let her down? I’d be really upset about that

If she's fallen out with her friends (as there is no request for them to have a lift home, so presumably they still do), to the point she is currently on her own at the festival and I would go and get her earlier rather than later due to safety.

otherwise she can wait for her planned lift. I can't imagine any teen parent refusing to take a friend home even if it makes for a icy journey home because they are not talking.

I’d ask them to stay put and pick them up later on, early morning. I agree with a PP, that’s not much to ask from a teenager, they can easily stay up all night.

She's not a baby, FFS. She's 17. She can go now and get a train back home.