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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Daughter left to get hotel in reading on last day of festival by my husband who can’t be arsed to pick her up. Says I am being hysterical that I don’t think that is the best answer.

259 replies

mylot · 30/08/2026 16:04

So dd 17 just casually told us she wants picking up from Reading festival with a few others at 1am. I was going to go but not super comfortable lone driving in the wee hours knowing I might be waiting around a bit in a car park somewhere (you know what they are like with answering phones) DH offered to go. Then having looked at the mass exodus traffic situation, he says he can’t be arsed and thinks booking her a hotel in the centre of town is a better idea. I said no, anyway, what about her mates. Regardless, she’d be wandering around on her own post festival in a strange town at 1am. He said I was being weird for having a problem with that, no one else would say that. I said ‘Um. I grew up as a woman…’ he said ‘ No other woman I know would ever say that to me.’ Bearing in mind he is in the middle of an emotional affair with someone 20 years younger at work. AIBU to think that some of you would rather go get her (it’s a hour) than have her abandoned in a strange town?

OP posts:
DiscourteousDiana · 30/08/2026 16:12

I’d be pissed off with my DD for ‘casually’ telling me that she wants a lift at 1am and making her lack of organisation my problem!

BlumeUndTisch · 30/08/2026 16:11

She is 17? Can't be arsed? No no no.

AppleKatie · 30/08/2026 16:10

the way he talks to you is clearly not ok. I don’t really understand why you can’t get her though? Assuming your car doors lock it’s not dangerous for you to wait in a carpark?

Chamomileteaplease · 30/08/2026 16:10

yes what was the original plan?

I wouldn't be at all happy about a spontaneous trip an hour away at 1am.

But I wouldn't be put off by waiting in a festival car park. More about my daughter's lack of planning.

Crunchymum · 30/08/2026 16:09

Sounds like you have much bigger problems than this.

However I'd not be impressed if this was just dumped on me at the eleventh hour.

What was DD's initially plans?

ExtraOnions · 30/08/2026 16:09

If you / DH don’t go, how are the friends getting home.

Bit of a cheek expecting to be picked up at 1am - why not camp tonight and be collected tomorrow ?

Keymoment · 30/08/2026 16:08

Well, what was the plan for her getting home after the festival? Was nothing pre-organised? I don’t think it’s reasonable for her to expect a lift for her and some mates at 1am unless it was pre-organised. I think in theory the idea of a hotel room for her is OK, but hotels often don’t tend to accept under-18s, and what about the friends? Most of this is on your DD.

helpfulperson · 30/08/2026 16:08

To be honest that would have been my first solution. Its interesting that you say your daughter just told you she wanted picked up, not that she asked you if she could get a lift.

Treylime · 30/08/2026 16:08

It seems highly unlikely that there are rooms available in hotels in Central Reading tonight. Was the original.plan for her to camp tonight?

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