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AIBU?

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Original poster

To say firmly and definitively I won’t miss it

227 replies

toomanytakeawaysthissummer · 30/08/2026 13:42

I realised far too late parenting is not for me, although I still hope things will get better. I had a very unrealistic idea of just how much work small children are.

As a result the last few years have been some of the most miserable of my life and I’ve been wrung out, stressed, exhausted and depleted in every single way from every single part of my life.

Like I say, I am hoping it might get better.

But I’m told by others often with a game chuckle that I’ll miss it one day. That these are the best days (can’t see it myself) and I’ll long for these days in ten years.

Are they fucking mental or what?

OP posts:
Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 01/09/2026 12:28

What do you do for yourself OP?

What are your hobbies?

You sound a bit burnt out. You need to do something for you.

You have very loud children and very sensitive hearing by the sound of it.

Could you try a different type of earplugs? Or over ear headphones playing calming music quietly?

Can you afford a babysitter once a week to do bedtime for you?

Olinguita · 01/09/2026 14:53

Your feelings are valid, OP.
I think you sound burned out and you need a break.
A lot of people struggle with the noise and shrieking so I can't say I blame you.
I have only one child (would have liked more but it wasn't to be). I genuinely found the baby and toddler years very rewarding and have some lovely memories, and as my child grows up and prepares to start primary I do find myself having moments of sadness that those days are behind me and I won't have a snuggly baby again.
HOWEVER...
The sleep deprivation and sheer mess of the baby and toddler years were apocalyptic. And I say this as someone who can manage well on little sleep and thrives in a bit of chaos. DS was a dreadful sleeper and had been hard work all round. There was a lot of physical wear and tear from those years. I won't miss that and I won't forget it either. Also the constant vigilance, watching your kid like a hawk so they don't put something in their mouth or wander off, always having to think two or three steps ahead about things like naps and what I needed to pack when going out for the day. The constant worry about milestones (weaning, potty training, the more recently introduced middle class milestone of being able to ride one of those effing balance bikes.... no, bugger off Camilla and Natasha, my son doesn't get on with a balance bike, we are using a bike with stabilisers and I don't give a shit if it's not the "correct" way to learn etc).
There were so many micro decisions during the day felt so consequential and open to critique in the baby/toddler/preschool years...
I love older children and teens though so I'm embracing the next stage....and everything that might come with it!

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