Swearing on public transport and children

So he’s not an arse for confronting a random woman yet I am for refusing to police the speech of others?

There are plenty of things I don’t agree with but I don’t appoint myself the speech police.

This time he could confront her because she was a woman on her own. I’m guessing he might not have been so quick to do so if it was a group of men. Your child is going to hear swearing. Far easier and also a good lesson to just tell him something age appropriate about not nice people using not nice words because they’re cross and making a bad choice.

Or you could drop the judgment completely and say the words aren’t appropriate for children to use without talking about ‘bad people’.

People who kill and abuse etc are ‘bad people’. People who swear are just people using language that you dont want your kid to hear.

Of I feel safe I have no problem asking people to tone it down.

IME, teenagers are the most apologetic.

I wouldn’t care about the swearing but I would care about the speakerphone and would’ve said something.

And when they point out that it’s nothing to do with you? How do you react?

I heard a woman asking some teens to tone down their language and they apologised. When she moved away, they spent the rest of the journey making rude comments about her and doing unflattering impressions. I think she may have regretted doing it.

And this is a good example of what is wrong with society these days...

Rather than the person causing the nuisance being called out people are supposed to tip toe around them and inconvenience themselves instead.

What a bizarre attitude.

OP, your partner was perfectly right to tell that woman to have some respect for the people around her.

Yeah let’s normalise men confronting women in public 🙄

Just because you don’t approve, you don’t have the right to tell off another adult. We all have to exist together unfortunately so if it’s not illegal or dangerous to others, keep your nose out.

You don’t know how someone will react anyway

WTAF. There are loads of things that are bad behaviour that aren’t murder or abuse?!!

It’s not nice and it’s anti social to have a loud conversation on speaker using swear words (even without the swearing it’s still antisocial) for a whole train carriage to hear. I’d want to bring my child up knowing that’s poor behaviour personally. So yes absolutely I’d tell my child it’s a not nice person doing and saying not nice things. Then I’d move on and distract them with what can we see out of the window.

I think your DH did the right thing. Indeed would have been reasonable to have approached someone on a loud call in any case- you could use the excuse that you could overhear something that could put them in some danger (where they are going to be at some point for example is information for a mugger).

Agree about the kind of reaction you could get.

I think the ending of earphone jacks on some phones has contributed, and manufacturers should be required to provide one, or perhaps face a penalty such as double VAT on phones without them.

Oh how brilliant!

remember my 5 year old ds telling off a group of teenagers outside the local shop for throwing their rubbish on the floor. He told them to “put it in the bin or take it home” and they scrabbled around picking up the litter and popped it all in the bin! I just stood there with my mouth open.

Clearly you love to swear on a phone on a speaker in public too.

Bore off with would he have spoken to a man like that. I am absolutely sick of unpolite people who do this kind of behaviour, those who also play their music at the loudest it can go with no earphones or play reels/ tiktoks with no earphones. All of this goes under crappy selfish unpolite behaviour and if you are one that panders to those behaviours, it most likely means you do it too.

If an adult needs shaming on their behaviour, then that's on them. Grow up and have awareness about the people around you.

That's why people are so uncouth and ill-mannered these days. I will do what I like and you have to suffer it attitude.

It's so easy and not expensive to buy an ear phone adaptor from amazon. I have one that allows it to go into the charging port. Also has another port for the charger to go in the same time. You can buy bluetooth earphones very cheap from b&m. No excuses. But I agree the manufacturers should have left them of course.

I do agree with you, but find it interesting that any posts on this forum about women going out with almost their whole bare arses on display are met with comments about how it’s their right, and just look away if it offends you. TBH that offends me more than swearing, but both actions just show how low standards in public have dropped in the UK.

my husband once told off a woman who shouted the fword loudly into her phone while walking next to us with our 4 year old

Cool. Got any examples of your husband telling off blokes for bad behaviour?

I don't think someone's clothing choice is an equivalent to someone blasting sounds into a shared space.

Both examples of a decline in standards, though.

Ah yes - there was a point in many countries’ histories when pregnant women were expected not to be seen in public after a certain time. Loosening that rule probably provoked the same ‘decline in standards’ comments.

Society changes and evolves. I don’t like some things that are considered acceptable but I still defend people’s rights to do them as long as they are legal and not putting anyone else in danger.

And of course women couldn’t wear trousers or show too much skin in public. Now we have other woman complaining that others choose to wear too little or whatever

It’s incredibly vulgar and selfish to force everyone around you to listen to your poor vocabulary. It happens all the time.

Entitlement is on the rampage.

Same. I also wonder if he would have walked up to some other bloke.

He could have distracted the child and moved on with his day.

Her behaviour needed pulling up

I have specifically stated that I WOULDN’T do this and it would annoy me. I hate listening to things from people’s phones.

I think tackling people on legal behaviour is pretty crass and also risky (but if you are happy to do so then that’s up to you - I would cringe internally for you but as an adult I would not mention it).

And a man telling off a woman in public can go screw themselves. Women are wary enough of men as it is and some bloke piping up could be quite intimating. Still I suppose that’s okay if the woman is ‘uncouth’.

Not everyone will accept a public reprimand happily and apologise. There are violent people with knives on our streets. Which is why I am guessing that most of the people being told off are women because they are statistically less likely to be violent

In your OPINION. Others may not have been bothered. But causing an irritation is not the same as breaking the law.

Or should I tackle a mother the next time I see kids running around getting underfoot and screaming? I don’t like it (despite it being legal although can be dangerous) as it’s disruptive so my opinion matters, right?